AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

I’m a meat eater after, yet somehow am capable of understanding why a vegan wouldn’t want me to use a spoon with meat juices on it to serve myself from a vegan dish. Probably because I’m not a massive twat.

Not unreasonable at all i would assume most people with manners would use different cutlery anyway!

yeah, they were weird. I'd have used different utensils in a vegan or vegetarian dish just out of courtesy. it's definitely not you that's the problem

I had a barbecue the other week, for my two sons, my elder son's girlfriend, and me.

DS2 and I eat everything. DS1 doesn't eat any red meat. His girlfriend is technically pescatarian, but mostly vegetarian. Additionally she is allergic to shellfish.

So the grill is divided into 3- all meats for me and ds2 in one section. Chicken for ds1 in another. And on a griddle on the grill, veggie burgers etc for ds1's girlfriend, and all the vegetable sides (mushrooms/corn on the cob). Each section has its own tongs/fish slices etc. No shellfish anywhere!

Yes, it's marginally more hassle. But I love my son and his girlfriend and respect their choices, so I make sure I do the best I can to accommodate them.

I missed you saying that you paid for the food. The guests were incredibly rude. We are in the 21st century FFS, people have different tastes so live and let live.

At the next meal I would just serve from the container (s) you ordered for yourself. Pile enough on your plate and don’t go back for seconds. If anyone asks you say that you would rather not eat from containers that have been double dipped (ok not really true but that is how it feels - contaminated).

Absolutely, it’s just basic respect for someone’s food choices.
I wouldn’t share my food with them again OP, crap behaviour from them.

I share your relatives feeling that it’s a pointless and picky thing to insist on unless there is medical risk involved, though.

I share your relatives thoughtless and inconsiderate feeling that it’s a pointless and picky thing to insist on unless there is medical risk involved, though because I am thick and lack social awareness and understanding

There, I have rephrased it for you @ClayPotaLot

@TakeawayRow some people posting on a Friday night clearly aren't very bright so you're going to get some comedy answers.

Of course YANBU and no idea how anyone can say otherwise. I'm a meat eater but wouldn't dream of putting a meat dish spoon into a vegan dish! That's just thoughtless.

I wouldn't put my own fork into a table dish either. That's unhygienic and minging.

I’m a meat eater and I’m on your side OP!

it’s actually crazy that they thought this was a problem.

I think it’s generally the done thing to keep utensils separate and I would have done as you asked. I share your relatives feeling that it’s a pointless and picky thing to insist on unless there is medical risk involved, though.

I have a veggie DIL and go out of my way to reassure her that I've not cross contaminated her food when we have a family meal. Surely that's what normal people do?

Oh, if that's the case, I can just use the same spoon I dished up the dog food from the tin with on your dinner. After all, such a small amount of the dog food wouldn't do you any harm so, we don't need separate utensils for serving each dish.... 🤷‍♀️

Having special fork status in a busy shared dishes environment doesn't sound very practical, so I'm not convinced that OP was being practical.

”Special fork status”? “A busy shared dishes environment”? OP put some serving spoons next to some dishes on a dining table. It hardly seems likely to have caused mass confusion.

Jesus, they can teach chimps to make a cup of PG Tips. Surely adult humans are capable of mastering “Spoon for serving, fork for eating”.

YANBU and your family were rude and entirely in the wrong. I wouldn’t even buy meat for my family members to eat (I’m also vegan). If people eat at my home they eat the vegan food I provide. If they want to eat meat they can do that somewhere else and they can pay for it!

Completely agree. I don't get the 'vegans/veggies are always so vocal about it's thing at all as by and large they are the complete opposite. It's always meat eaters drawing attention to them. (I'm a meat eater).

Well not eating dill isnt a principle is it?
You dont eat it becsuse you dont like it i dont like liver and wouldnt eat it if you paid
But im assuming the Op is vegan for ethicle reasons and doesnt want her food contaminated by animal products its not hard to respect other peoples principles even if they dont align to your own

Listing things everyone can agree is a more stupid reason than being vegan doesn't seem like great examples.

bore off with the "smugness"
OP had ordered her own food in her own home and made a perfectly reasonable request.

I am hugely petty so i would probably have just licked a (clean) spoon and put it in the meat dishes.

OP next time insist that only vegan food is ordered and enjoy your evening when they leave in a huff.

Sigh.
Yet another thicko who doesn't get it.

Go away and educate yourself.

From a meat eater who does get it.

I'm vegetarian and in my experience it's the meat eaters that make a song and dance about. I've lost count of the number of times I've simply ordered food and other people pipe up about "oh is there something there for you? What are you going to eat?" "Alucard55 is a vegetarian".

I know there are some preachy vegan/vegetarian types but most of us are able to go through life without making an issue it.

You're right. And it really isn't difficult to respect that and I say that as a meat eater. No meat forks in the vegan dishes. Use the vegan spoon.

Basically, if people don't do that then the vegan could be inclined to say 'i don't want to share' (especially as they have literally no benefit from sharing and if anything a danger of cross contamination) so really people should just be respectful for the vegan and their own benefit.

Given all the claims about the health benefits of meat and how pathetic and easily offended vegans are according to meat eaters, people who eat meat seem very fragile and unable to handle any social interaction that doesn’t revolve round their dietary habits without turning into sensitive, offended whinging babies. This thread has a few prime examples. I see a usual suspect contrarian who seems to spend a lot of time on vegan and vegetarian threads despite despising them. I suspect they might be the only attention they get.

Is it the constipation that has them out of sorts or the indigestion, I wonder.

Next time pick your nose with a fork and stick it in their food. If they are offended tell them it’s just a little bit of snot and roll your eyes indulgently at how precious and silly they are.

Double dipping - sharing saliva with the wider extended family and their plus ones. If not loving that makes a person a "fun sponge" then I'm sure I'm the only one happy to accept that label in return for not having the forks from other people's mouths stuck into my dinner.

I think it’s a bit over the top. It’s not like you’re allergic to shellfish so please don’t mix the utensils as you’d have a reaction. It’s just that you don’t want to eat meat. Same as I don’t eat dill. But I wouldn’t seperate utensils for that.