AIBU to ask where the line is with swearing?

Warning - utter filth ahead to make my points!

If a man called me a cunt he’d be gone (and under a patio)

If he said ‘I love your cunt’ - acceptable.

DH describing his boss as a fucking twat - solidarity.

Anyone calling me a fucking twat - patio.

Either one of us, to each other: ‘You knob’ - married bliss.

I’m never in the company of children so don’t really have a filter at home.

Context and intent. I'd have been divorced a long time ago otherwise as I swear a lot. The dog is called an utter shit bag on an hourly basis but it's an affectionate shit bag.

I think the line is swearing directed at the person specifically. So saying 'for fucks sake' or 'fucking hell' = fine. But calling someone a 'fucking idiot' or saying 'what the fuck are you doing?!' not. Although that said, I sometimes call my DH a fucking idiot but thats when we are laughing together about something stupid he's done. So not in malice and he knows that and is laughing too.

Is that what happened?

Fuck, cunt, shit, bollocks are kind of a bland swear words for me. The line is - stupid, idiot, slut, slag, racial swear words - it gets personal rather than general - you know the stuff design to totally degrade a person.

Happy swearing - fine as long as it’s in appropriate company.

Frustrated swearing - forgivable.

Swearing directly at someone in an aggressive or pejorative way - problematic.

For me it is context.

Messing around and saying 'right fuck off you twat' is very different than having cross words and being told to fuck off.
Swearing doesn't bother me at all unless it's directed at a person in a offensive way.

If someone is using it to be intentionally offensive, abusive or intimidating, that's a line. If someone stubs their fucking toe, says the fucking England team are shit etc and a little kid is there...well, they hear worse at school.

I'm not saying it's ideal but I wouldn't divorce over it. A quiet, "Hey, can you not swear in front of our son so he doesn't come off like an uneducated buffoon as he gets older," would suffice.

No one is perfect and seems extreme to me to expect perfection and then go from marriage to divorce because someone called an inanimate object out for being annoying.

I'm from South London and it's part of my vocabulary. I rarely swear in an argument for some reason!

I think it's as important as you make it.

I think it completely depends on your views around swearing and what kind of person you are.

My DH and I swear often (daily) and its nothing for either of us to say 'FFS' or 'Fucking hell' or to tell each other to 'Fuck off' (in jest mostly but there have been times when we are agitated or irritated by one another that we will say it to one another) But neither of us takes it to heart and neither of us really gives a shit.

We never swore (or argued) around our kids growing up but did swear around them as they came into their late teens. Both our DD's will swear in our company and we don't mind.

We are not 'ever other word' swearers but we do use it most days in just normal language. It's just us. I sometimes call the dog 'a fucking twat!' but its in jest.

I am not offended by language in the slightest but I know there are many that are. For example, I NEVER swear in front of my in-laws and keep my potty mouth to myself 😂My MIL in particular would be horrified to hear me saying the F word!

It depends on culture and the norms in the individual marriage whether swearing is unacceptable in an absolute sense.

As a general rule, I think swearing at someone is worse than swearing in other contexts. "Go and get the fucking cup" is an instruction aimed at someone so I would put that in the 'swearing at' category, as opposed to, e.g. 'Where's my fucking cup gone, I had it a minute ago' type thing.