AIBU to ask where the line is with swearing?

Abhor the C word, with a passion. I judge those who use it. 🤑

I feel the swearing is a bit of a red herring here. Someone can say awful things and not swear at all. So if I had had an argument with someone I would be less focused on swear words and more the general message and intent. Eg. 'Why are you so useless? You don't seem capable of anything. I'm so done'. You could throw in some swear words in there for good measure. But actually, at a fundamental level, it makes no difference. I wouldn't expect an apology for swear words specifically but rather what they have said. And if someone was speaking to me like this on the regular, I'd be gone. I don't really understand people who have relationships where they argue all the time. Why?? Surely its just shit?!

Absolute no to swearing in front of children apart from my DS once he got to teens.

I've never sworn at work unless i'm in a 1:1 conversation with someone I know very well and our conversation isn't overheard.

DH and I swear all the time as part of general conversation at home mainly if we are laughing about something but also in frustration at a situation. Never directed in anger at each other.

I never swear in front of my Dad as I know he absolutely hates it (I am in my 50s). My Mum is very relaxed about it as is my sister. She and I swear in conversation together very much like me and DH do.

I don't like hearing swearing in public that is loud, eg someone shouting.

I have definitely sworn in my MN posts but I wouldn't swear at someone.

I swear in frustration more than I should, but mainly at or about myself. My DC have tuned it out, though we have had conversations around swearing appropriately and not doing it to hurt or degrade people.
I did tell a work colleague ‘fuck off and stop being a twat’ once at a pinnacle of a subversive campaign of ‘mild’ bullying directed towards me. I did apologise about an hour later for my choice of words, but that the sentiment stood. He hasn’t behaved that way directly towards me since. He is still a knob though, doesn’t behave himself and is on about his fifth final warning for behaviour.

Ha I know daft cunts, great cunts and fucking cunts.

😂

My DH and I will sometimes say, affectionately, 'I love you, you daft cunt' 😂If one of us has done something stupid to make the other laugh.

If my Dad swore at my mother - that was very bad (they hated each other but stayed married) - dh and I swear at each other all the time, we have a brilliant 25 year relationship.

Yes, definite boundaries where the In-laws are concerned and I rarely swore in front of my Mum. Even though she very occasionally said 'fuck' 😂

I think my DH would cross a line if he called me a 'fucking bitch'. We jokingly call each other a 'massive twat' or 'massive bellend' and stuff like that.

But I think I would feel upset if he called me a 'fucking bitch' during an argument and in that kind of way. I honestly don't think he ever would though.

That would be child abuse.

If someone speaks to you like they hate you, believe them and proceed accordingly.

I love an affectionate cunt - dh and I met in Glasgow, cunt has a special place in our hearts!

Swearing in front of children is a definite no no, but in adult only general conversation it doesn’t bother me but it comes down to context. Telling someone in anger to fuck off etc is far different from exclaiming fucking hell etc. As Billy Connelly once said when asked if fuck was the only word he knew. I know lots of words but sometimes fuck is all you need. In Glasgow calling someone a cunt can be good or bad depending on the context.

Well no. Because that is all still directed at the person. The 'fucks sake' on its own sounds like frustration. But the follow ups sound like they are directed at the relationship and presumably, mostly the other person.

To be honest, I don't really argue with my DH and often on here I read things people have said to their partners and think 'I absolutely wouldn't stand for that'. And it doesn't have to involve any swearing anyway.

In the examples you give I don’t think for fuck’s sake, this is so shit and I’m done with this slagging mess are much worse than their non-sweaty equivalents. ie for God’s sake, this is so terrible, I’m done with this mess could be just as upsetting. It’s the content/tone rather than the swearing.

It is so contextualised. Dh and I may swear at each other in an argument but I never feel threatened, I never feel degraded - it's just an emotional outlet in a healthy relationship. I don't like the word stupid, idiot, slag, slut, nag, whore, n* I find them much more offensive than fuck and cunt.

Well, 'fuck off you fucking idiot' is about intent as much as vocabulary. If your other half said "Get out of my life, you total idiot" that wouldn't be any less offensive despite the lack of swear words.

I think setting a global 'unacceptable' level is almost impossible because it depends so much on what's normal within a relationship, in your wider family and in your culture.

If a non-swearer is in a relationship with a swearer I imagine they have decided to tolerate it, like a non-smoker might tolerate a smoker or a teetotaller might tolerate a regular drinker. If you get together with someone who has a habit that you don't share, then you have to take that as part of the package. It might not always be that the non-swearer is ideologically opposed to swearing, it might simply be they're not in the habit of it.

I don’t think I’ve ever told someone to fuck off, nor called anyone a fucking idiot (not to their face, anyway).

I do litter my speech with swear words (they’re just words to me), and always have done, but never in aggression.

There's no swearing in our house.

People can express their frustrations without using bad language.

Mate, you even need to ASK?!!

In the sprint of the thread - fuck no, it’s never acceptable.