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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not include agent in every lead I get for work for my daughter from initial contact?

63 replies

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 14:38

Daughter acts. Has had some work but nothing that has come through her agent. Work I have sourced myself from scouring various platforms and referrals from contacts made in the industry over the past 2 years.

In short, the agent isnt very good. The agency is an add on to the acting school my daughter attended. The agent is one of the mums doing this on the side of her other 'real' job. She has no experience other than her own daughter has had a bit of experience in the past.

When I am applying for anything she is requesting I CC her on everything from the initial contact so she can 'offer the opportunity to other kids in the agency too'.

AIBU to not do this until my DD has had a callback audition etc? I feel like she is using me to source work and then put it out to all in the agency and then IF a child is successful she gets 20% of the fee!!!

AIBU not to do this? I feel its only her concern if it looks like my DD is actually going to get a part!! I am not on the payroll for the agency, I don't feel my hard work of looking online for opportunities then should be handed on a plate to her to take credit for!

Thoughts?

OP posts:
AlohaRose · 05/06/2026 16:35

What are the conditions for terminating the contact? Bluntly, get rid of her! She is playing at being an agent and hasn't a clue what she is doing. She wants to appear connected by offering out opportunities you have sourced to other kids on her books so it looks like she is professional. You say your daughter "attended" this school so if she is no longer there then your real-life contact with this mother must be limited? Regardless, acting is a dog-eat-dog world (I worked in theatre) so you and your daughter can't afford to worry about hurt feelings. Believe me, if this woman was a professional agent she would think nothing about terminating a contract if you weren't pulling in some money.

RedToothBrush · 05/06/2026 16:34

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:05

Thanks everyone, how do I politely leave her without any hard feelings? As I see her around alot as our kids in alot of stuff together

You don't.

She uses you for her business so she doesn't have to do anything. She's outsourcing to you.

She won't take it well however you politely leave for this reason.

Friendlygingercat · 05/06/2026 16:30

I agree with the poster who said to give her notice and explain that due to a change of circumstances you will be taking up this role of agent yourself. You can always find a more efficient agent at a later stage.

WallaceinAnderland · 05/06/2026 16:30

She can't just leave, she signed a contract.

Swiftsmith · 05/06/2026 16:27

Leave this agent, you know she's rubbish. Tell her the truth, clearly and fairly - it's because your daughter hasn't had any auditons through her so you're going to try some other approaches. I would personally also say that you wouldn't be comfortable sharing any leads you found as it's a competitive sector, and takes time and effort on your part to find them. (She should really be a bit embarrassed that you're finding these opportunities and she isn't, and it's very cheeky to ask you to share what you have found.)

If she reacts badly, becomes awkward when you see her - that is on her and would be very unprofessional. This is a business arrangement which is doing you no favours so it shouldn't surprise her if you decide to end it and you're well within your rights to.

WallaceinAnderland · 05/06/2026 16:25

I think you may be in breach of contract.

What are the terms for terminating the contract?

ItsNotMeEither · 05/06/2026 16:25

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:37

Contract just says that they must be listed as the agent on all work applications and a fee will be taken regardless of how the work is secured.
My issue is that she has verbally and over whatsapp told me to CC her on everything from the get go. But sure why would I do that? She can then offer it out to the whole school!

She wants to be able to share the opportunity to as many students as possible, as that way the agency has a chance to make more money.

Put it this way, even if your daughter is Oscar worthy, she won't win every part, for some reason or other she will be deemed not quite right for the part. The more people the agency sends to the audition, the more chance they have that someone listed with them will get the part, therefore, making them more money.

That said, I'd feel like you, that I was just helping the competition and making things even harder for your daughter.

You mention the agency being attached to the drama school. Is it compulsory or part of the deal that you must use their agency? If you can. I'd be tempted to go it alone for a little while, or at the very least, change agents. So far this agent has done nothing for your daughter.

SunnyRedSnail · 05/06/2026 16:17

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:37

Contract just says that they must be listed as the agent on all work applications and a fee will be taken regardless of how the work is secured.
My issue is that she has verbally and over whatsapp told me to CC her on everything from the get go. But sure why would I do that? She can then offer it out to the whole school!

If that's what the contract says then unfortunately you need to be paying.

What does the notice period on the contract say? Just give written notice and say that you have decided to not use an agent any more.

Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 05/06/2026 16:11

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:46

Sorry what are subs?

roles she is submitting your child for. My daughters agent (like the majority of agents) use an app called tagmin. I can see all the submissions my daughter has. Some agents don’t show the subs on there but you’re entitled to ask for a list of subs so you can see what your child has been submitted for. My child has had quite a few self tapes and recalls - has yours? If not, I would recommend leaving if your child really wants to do acting and finding a better, more respected and experienced agent

chirrupybird · 05/06/2026 15:55

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:37

Contract just says that they must be listed as the agent on all work applications and a fee will be taken regardless of how the work is secured.
My issue is that she has verbally and over whatsapp told me to CC her on everything from the get go. But sure why would I do that? She can then offer it out to the whole school!

You don't have to tell her anything until your DD gets a job then she is entltled to whatever the fee is. What does the contract say about terminating the contract, do you have to give notice or buy your DD out? I would just say you are going to be your DDs agent from now and can she let you know if anything suitable comes up. If you are finding general leads for her she should be paying you part of the fee if one of her pupils get it.

SparklingBettie · 05/06/2026 15:52

Agents should only be taking the fee for work they found the artist. Also, you should never tell anyone about any auditions or who your contacts are. No one is your friend at auditions they are your daughters competition.

Bramshott · 05/06/2026 15:50

Be careful that your DD's spotlight profile isn't linked to her having this particular agent if you decide to leave, particularly if you leave without having another agent to go to. I think I'd just leave things as they are and simply "forget" to let the agent know about open call opportunities until things have progressed to an offer stage.

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:46

Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 05/06/2026 15:43

It is normal for agents to need to be notified if you apply for open calls.

do you see subs? Is your child on spotlight? How old are they? You can’t really quietly phase out an agent you’re signed with, you need to notify that you’re leaving them in writing. They can’t demand you stay or even demand notice so you can leave straight away. If you’re on spotlight, it might be easier to apply and get accepted by another agency before you leave as some prefer you to be on spotlight already

Sorry what are subs?

OP posts:
Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:45

Swiftie1878 · 05/06/2026 15:39

Contract sounds pretty airtight! It’s there in black and white. YABU.

I always do list her as the agent. Always.
But when I make initial contact for projects that are not listed on spotlight/fishpond etc she wants me to CC her. That is not in the contract. Its that she be listed as the agent. She is. She's just not part of the conversation from the initial reach out.

OP posts:
Gingernaut · 05/06/2026 15:44

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:37

Contract just says that they must be listed as the agent on all work applications and a fee will be taken regardless of how the work is secured.
My issue is that she has verbally and over whatsapp told me to CC her on everything from the get go. But sure why would I do that? She can then offer it out to the whole school!

Read the Ts & Cs about ending the contract

Follow those to the letter

If there aren't any, seek professional legal advice, as the contract may not be legal

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:43

Thingsthatgo · 05/06/2026 15:41

Is she an experienced agent? DD’s first agent was basically just a theatre club owner, who did very little and would have pulled a similar stunt.
Her current agent has found her a lot of work, and has some great contacts. She charges the same percentage rates.

No, no experience at all....

OP posts:
Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 05/06/2026 15:43

It is normal for agents to need to be notified if you apply for open calls.

do you see subs? Is your child on spotlight? How old are they? You can’t really quietly phase out an agent you’re signed with, you need to notify that you’re leaving them in writing. They can’t demand you stay or even demand notice so you can leave straight away. If you’re on spotlight, it might be easier to apply and get accepted by another agency before you leave as some prefer you to be on spotlight already

Error404FucksNotFound · 05/06/2026 15:42

Yeah, that contact means she could take action against you.

You need to look at the terms re ending the contract.

You're worried about how she might feel? Do you think how you feel would stop her taking you to court to get you to pay according to the contract? Of course not.

NotAChanceIn · 05/06/2026 15:42

Yeah you need to exit this contract. You're going to do all the work and she's going to claim money for it.

Thingsthatgo · 05/06/2026 15:41

Is she an experienced agent? DD’s first agent was basically just a theatre club owner, who did very little and would have pulled a similar stunt.
Her current agent has found her a lot of work, and has some great contacts. She charges the same percentage rates.

Swiftie1878 · 05/06/2026 15:39

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:37

Contract just says that they must be listed as the agent on all work applications and a fee will be taken regardless of how the work is secured.
My issue is that she has verbally and over whatsapp told me to CC her on everything from the get go. But sure why would I do that? She can then offer it out to the whole school!

Contract sounds pretty airtight! It’s there in black and white. YABU.

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:37

SunnyRedSnail · 05/06/2026 15:14

What does the contract say?

If it doesn't say anything about having to notify them of other auditions your daughter attends, then perhaps just phase them out??

Contract just says that they must be listed as the agent on all work applications and a fee will be taken regardless of how the work is secured.
My issue is that she has verbally and over whatsapp told me to CC her on everything from the get go. But sure why would I do that? She can then offer it out to the whole school!

OP posts:
Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:35

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 05/06/2026 15:17

Tell her you'll share the leads with her. Send her a message with your rates on it and let know there's also an admin fee

Great answer! But I wouldnt have the balls to say that 🙈

OP posts:
Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:34

Krevlornswath · 05/06/2026 15:18

Perhaps go down the route of expressing to her that you are about to have more free time available to you due a a change in circumstances, and have decided this is something you'd enjoy taking on yourself going forward and will therefore be representing her going forward.

Obviously if there is a contract then check this first for any required notice.

Do alot of parents do that?

OP posts:
Krevlornswath · 05/06/2026 15:18

Travelfairy · 05/06/2026 15:05

Thanks everyone, how do I politely leave her without any hard feelings? As I see her around alot as our kids in alot of stuff together

Perhaps go down the route of expressing to her that you are about to have more free time available to you due a a change in circumstances, and have decided this is something you'd enjoy taking on yourself going forward and will therefore be representing her going forward.

Obviously if there is a contract then check this first for any required notice.

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