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AIBU?

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Was this neighbour "entitled to say what he wants in his own garden?"

207 replies

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 13:49

My friend shared a funny story this morning.

Her garden ends in a six foot fence, which backs onto another garden for the house behind her. They are large, very long gardens.

The man of this house, clearly thinking he had found a secluded spot away from his kids, was having a VERY explicit conversation with his wife on the phone, at the end of his garden, right against the fence. He was describing in great detail exactly what he was going to do to her when she returned home from her trip.

Trouble is, friend and her kids were sat right on the other side of the fence. They have a decking area there with chairs, tables, kids toys etc.

She couldn't let this conversation go on in earshot of her kids (3yo and 5yo) so she cheerfully shouted over the fence "very happy for your wife mate, but my kids are two feet away from you!" To which she heard a fumbled "shit, hold on" and then silence.

She reiterated this story to us, we all laughed, and agreed she did the right thing.

Retold story to husband just now who laughed, but said really, she had no right to tell him anything and embarrass him. It's his garden, he can have that conversation if he wants, and she should have moved the kids away until it stopped.

I disagree and think if you're going to live around other people you need to think of other people.

Who's right?
Reasonable - me and my friends
unreasonable - my DH

OP posts:
meganorks · 05/06/2026 13:55

I don't really think anyone is wrong. He's free to say what he wants in his own garden. She's free to tell him she can hear from her garden. Equally though, I probably would have gone with the husbands solution.

Sounds like he didn't want to be over heard, so might make him think a bit more carefully next time he's having a dirty talk phone call.

Ablondiebutagoody · 05/06/2026 13:55

There's no children here. What was he going to do to her?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 05/06/2026 13:55

If he thinks people can say what they want in their own gardens then he thinks your friend was right to say what she wanted surely. Free speech for all, she didn’t make him move away 😅

FeliciaFancybottom · 05/06/2026 13:54

Of course, he's entitled to say what he wants in his own garden but he should also have enough common sense to know he might be overheard.

MrsShawnHatosy · 05/06/2026 13:54

If you have your decking area right up against your neighbour’s fence, overhearing something you don’t want to is a risk you take.

Ellie1015 · 05/06/2026 13:53

Absolutely right to let him know kids were there and he could he heard.

Children have a right to play in their own garden without overhearing explicit conversation. Sounds like neighbour agrees as he modified his behaviour.

What does your dh suggest your friend should do? She didnt tell him off just let him know he could be heard.

ByLemonLeader · 05/06/2026 13:52

Ha ha haaaaa 🤣