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AIBU?

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Was this neighbour "entitled to say what he wants in his own garden?"

207 replies

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 13:49

My friend shared a funny story this morning.

Her garden ends in a six foot fence, which backs onto another garden for the house behind her. They are large, very long gardens.

The man of this house, clearly thinking he had found a secluded spot away from his kids, was having a VERY explicit conversation with his wife on the phone, at the end of his garden, right against the fence. He was describing in great detail exactly what he was going to do to her when she returned home from her trip.

Trouble is, friend and her kids were sat right on the other side of the fence. They have a decking area there with chairs, tables, kids toys etc.

She couldn't let this conversation go on in earshot of her kids (3yo and 5yo) so she cheerfully shouted over the fence "very happy for your wife mate, but my kids are two feet away from you!" To which she heard a fumbled "shit, hold on" and then silence.

She reiterated this story to us, we all laughed, and agreed she did the right thing.

Retold story to husband just now who laughed, but said really, she had no right to tell him anything and embarrass him. It's his garden, he can have that conversation if he wants, and she should have moved the kids away until it stopped.

I disagree and think if you're going to live around other people you need to think of other people.

Who's right?
Reasonable - me and my friends
unreasonable - my DH

OP posts:
TheyGrewUp · 05/06/2026 14:44

I'd have told the kids to run in on an errand for me and I'd have carried on listening

JollyGreenWatermelon · 05/06/2026 14:39

Don't you wish all conversations went that way?

He wasn't doing anything wrong
She warned him about little kids
he stopped immediately

No argument no drama

Him stopping suddenly shows why she was correct to tell him - he would obviously have been mortified if he had realised later somehow. I am amazed you can have 2 little kids so silent the neighbour doesn't realise they're there 😂

Error404FucksNotFound · 05/06/2026 14:34

Dollymylove · 05/06/2026 14:21

I wonder why he didnt have the conversation in the privacy of his house? Could it be because he didnt want his wife to here it? 🤣

So his own children didnt hear him talking to his wife who was on a trip, the op says

Nopersbro · 05/06/2026 14:32

I don't understand your husband's point; it seems like he's conflating legal rights with personal social decision-making.

Your friend didn't leap over the fence and seize his phone or attempt a citizen's arrest or call the police and report a crime, she called out to her neighbour and let him know she and her children could hear a conversation that he'd evidently gone to some lengths to have privately (but misjudged the level of privacy he'd actually found). Her calling out to him was the "neighbourly" and community/civic-minded thing to do under the circumstances. Had the neighbour felt strongly that he wanted to continue the conversation regardless of who could here he was perfectly able, but he didn't.

Could it really be "better" (and for whom) for your friend and the children to listen in silence, afraid to speak up or constrained from speaking up? Would the neighbour really be happier if he discovered tomorrow that several other people had heard his private conversation and said nothing?

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 05/06/2026 14:31

He has the right to do it, but was quite rightly embarrassed and stopped!

ByLemonLeader · 05/06/2026 14:31

Dollymylove · 05/06/2026 14:21

I wonder why he didnt have the conversation in the privacy of his house? Could it be because he didnt want his wife to here it? 🤣

His kids were home. He had gone right to the end of his long garden to avoid being heard by them.
The irony 🤣

dairydebris · 05/06/2026 14:27

I think hes allowed to talk dirty in his own garden.
Shes allowed to warn him he can be heard.
Hes free to choose to carry on or move away.
Shes free to stay there or move away.
Textbook human interaction- everyone was right and no one was wrong.

JuneAlready · 05/06/2026 14:26

Tableforjoan · 05/06/2026 14:22

I’d of shooed the kids away and sat listening texting a good friend the neighbour gossip 😂😂

Can’t say I think of my neighbours when talking in my garden tbh And if I actually heard a we can hear you I’d prob just say and I can hear you too 👍🏻 😅

Yeah I'd have suggested they go & fill their buckets with water & look for interesting things to add to their sandcastles 🤣

Monty36 · 05/06/2026 14:22

I rather suspect he knew you were there.

OldGothsFadeToGrey · 05/06/2026 14:22

MrsShawnHatosy · 05/06/2026 13:54

If you have your decking area right up against your neighbour’s fence, overhearing something you don’t want to is a risk you take.

That’s right.

God forbid you actually use the edges of your garden! That bit is just for looking at and never stepping foot on.

Tableforjoan · 05/06/2026 14:22

I’d of shooed the kids away and sat listening texting a good friend the neighbour gossip 😂😂

Can’t say I think of my neighbours when talking in my garden tbh And if I actually heard a we can hear you I’d prob just say and I can hear you too 👍🏻 😅

Dollymylove · 05/06/2026 14:21

I wonder why he didnt have the conversation in the privacy of his house? Could it be because he didnt want his wife to here it? 🤣

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 14:18

singthing · 05/06/2026 14:15

How did he not hear your friend and family making normal people noise though? Unless they were all sitting dead silently and not moving, he must have realised there were people there - and if he could hear them...?

We asked this. Friends was scrolling her phone. Kids were building sandcastles in the sandpit and we're quietly concentrating. They looked up when neighbour started bondage talking so heard it and questioned why mummy told him to stop. She said she was just letting him know that he was distracting them from their building so carry on now 🤣

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 05/06/2026 14:16

Just say 'didn't think anyone could hear' and walk away.

Though I suppose it's good to be warned of a man who is inadequate in the bedroom, in case the relationship ends and some other woman expects something that won'r be delivered. Who can be warned.

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 14:15

ToKittyornottoKitty · 05/06/2026 14:14

Feet and ankles?

Sorry, meant to say wrists and ankles

OP posts:
singthing · 05/06/2026 14:15

How did he not hear your friend and family making normal people noise though? Unless they were all sitting dead silently and not moving, he must have realised there were people there - and if he could hear them...?

Dweetfidilove · 05/06/2026 14:14

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 14:01

We of course all asked the friend too 🤣
So first he was going to strip her naked, then tie her to the table by her feet and ankles, then it was when he started to describe the oral he was going to perform on her, that she stopped it.
Spoilt sport 🤣
And also good for them because their kids are young and they both work full time from what we can tell.
Probably all talk.

Oh my 😚! May the kids sleep very well, so she can enjoy a wonderful return 😂.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 05/06/2026 14:14

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 14:01

We of course all asked the friend too 🤣
So first he was going to strip her naked, then tie her to the table by her feet and ankles, then it was when he started to describe the oral he was going to perform on her, that she stopped it.
Spoilt sport 🤣
And also good for them because their kids are young and they both work full time from what we can tell.
Probably all talk.

Feet and ankles?

ALotofThingsBeataJet2HolidayActually · 05/06/2026 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

corkscissorschalk · 05/06/2026 14:01

I’d say that putting a seating area right next to the boundary means you will be in closer proximity to your neighbours.
I would have encouraged my kids to do something in another part of the garden, but they could just as easily have been playing outside without supervision. Unless the neighbour was involving them in the conversation then it’s just part and parcel of living close to other people.

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 14:01

Dweetfidilove · 05/06/2026 13:56

I wanna know too 😂

We of course all asked the friend too 🤣
So first he was going to strip her naked, then tie her to the table by her feet and ankles, then it was when he started to describe the oral he was going to perform on her, that she stopped it.
Spoilt sport 🤣
And also good for them because their kids are young and they both work full time from what we can tell.
Probably all talk.

OP posts:
FuzzyBumbleeBee · 05/06/2026 14:01

You'd think you have the right to say anything you want in your own garden but last year Dp was in ours and said oh ffs she's smoking again!
Not directed at the neighbour or shouting at her just in general and she called the police on us! And they turned up!

If he thinks any outdoors conversation is private just because he can't see anyone else he's daft the amount of gossip we overhear in our garden is ridiculous

I8toys · 05/06/2026 13:58

There are worse things he could do in his garden - spermy sex pond for example. YABU

Dweetfidilove · 05/06/2026 13:56

Ablondiebutagoody · 05/06/2026 13:55

There's no children here. What was he going to do to her?

Edited

I wanna know too 😂

Dweetfidilove · 05/06/2026 13:56

The neighbour agrees with your friend, so YANBU.