Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was this neighbour "entitled to say what he wants in his own garden?"

207 replies

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 13:49

My friend shared a funny story this morning.

Her garden ends in a six foot fence, which backs onto another garden for the house behind her. They are large, very long gardens.

The man of this house, clearly thinking he had found a secluded spot away from his kids, was having a VERY explicit conversation with his wife on the phone, at the end of his garden, right against the fence. He was describing in great detail exactly what he was going to do to her when she returned home from her trip.

Trouble is, friend and her kids were sat right on the other side of the fence. They have a decking area there with chairs, tables, kids toys etc.

She couldn't let this conversation go on in earshot of her kids (3yo and 5yo) so she cheerfully shouted over the fence "very happy for your wife mate, but my kids are two feet away from you!" To which she heard a fumbled "shit, hold on" and then silence.

She reiterated this story to us, we all laughed, and agreed she did the right thing.

Retold story to husband just now who laughed, but said really, she had no right to tell him anything and embarrass him. It's his garden, he can have that conversation if he wants, and she should have moved the kids away until it stopped.

I disagree and think if you're going to live around other people you need to think of other people.

Who's right?
Reasonable - me and my friends
unreasonable - my DH

OP posts:
Lemondase · 05/06/2026 15:37

You think he would have heard the kids but was obviously distracted 😂Your friend did the right thing. Dh is a military man and is often away and we have some interesting convos as it’s all we have got sometimes but I don’t need anyone else to hear!

MaidMiriam · 05/06/2026 15:33

Her response was perfect! 🤣 🤣🤣

DeftGoldHedgehog · 05/06/2026 15:29

I don't think I'd have said anything but have coughed to let them know I was there. Heh. 😅YANBU though.

LuckyHazelFox · 05/06/2026 15:27

Ablondiebutagoody · 05/06/2026 13:55

There's no children here. What was he going to do to her?

Edited

😆 🤣

Agix · 05/06/2026 15:27

I vote his garden, he can say what he wants. If you don't want your kids overhearing, move the kids. But sounds like all was sorted when your friend gave him a heads up so don't see the issue, he chose to stop which is good of him, so don't see the issue.

Jamesblonde2 · 05/06/2026 15:23

YANBU. His garden yes, but if people can hear or see, then that’s inappropriate. And if he knew you and others could hear, and carried on, I’d say that’s perverted and he would be getting a kick out of it.

Surely no wife would want their exploits overhead by the neighbours.

Bork!

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 15:20

ThreadGuardDog · 05/06/2026 15:16

Now there’s a thought !!

No, it wasn't like that. She said he was already mid convo as he left his house as she heard him approach the back of the house, already on the phone. His kids had most likely been involved in the first part of the convo, saying hello to mummy or whatever, and he had wondered away to the back of his garden, away from his kids, to carry on the rest of it, which was dirty.
Good intentions but clearly too horny to think about who might be on the other side of his fence 🤣

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 05/06/2026 15:19

JuneAlready · 05/06/2026 14:26

Yeah I'd have suggested they go & fill their buckets with water & look for interesting things to add to their sandcastles 🤣

I would have popped round for a cup of sugar

ThreadGuardDog · 05/06/2026 15:16

Dollymylove · 05/06/2026 14:21

I wonder why he didnt have the conversation in the privacy of his house? Could it be because he didnt want his wife to here it? 🤣

Now there’s a thought !!

Mightymighty · 05/06/2026 15:14

Ablondiebutagoody · 05/06/2026 13:55

There's no children here. What was he going to do to her?

Edited

Haha. Brilliant comment! ⭐️ ⭐ ⭐️ ⭐ ⭐️

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 05/06/2026 15:08

MrsShawnHatosy · 05/06/2026 13:54

If you have your decking area right up against your neighbour’s fence, overhearing something you don’t want to is a risk you take.

Our patio is such that we either sit against the wall between the garden of the adjoining house or the fence of the neighbour on the other side.

Shall I not use it, in case they want to have an explicit conversation?

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 15:05

JLou08 · 05/06/2026 14:53

I would have just moved them away.
What a strange set up she has anyway. If she has a very long, large garden, why set up the decking and chairs right next to the neighbours garden?
I've never seen a set up like that, decking usually comes from the back of your own house.

Also, not everyone's home is set up so that their property opens up straight onto their garden. My sister lives in maisonette. The front garden belongs to downstairs, the back garden is hers. Obviously because she is upstairs, the property doesn't open up onto the garden, she has to go downstairs and down a sort of corridor/lane thing to access the back. Her NDN have a decking area in the rear corner of their garden and she is considering something similar

OP posts:
bumptybum · 05/06/2026 15:02

FuzzyBumbleeBee · 05/06/2026 14:01

You'd think you have the right to say anything you want in your own garden but last year Dp was in ours and said oh ffs she's smoking again!
Not directed at the neighbour or shouting at her just in general and she called the police on us! And they turned up!

If he thinks any outdoors conversation is private just because he can't see anyone else he's daft the amount of gossip we overhear in our garden is ridiculous

Edited

On what basis did the police come out? You’d think they were too busy for this sort of nonsense

DrRylandGrace · 05/06/2026 14:59

Surely he’d be a bit embarrassed to continue when he knew other people could hear so the point about whether he “can” is moot? It would be really creepy if he wanted to carry on in earshot of others, kids or not!

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 14:57

JLou08 · 05/06/2026 14:53

I would have just moved them away.
What a strange set up she has anyway. If she has a very long, large garden, why set up the decking and chairs right next to the neighbours garden?
I've never seen a set up like that, decking usually comes from the back of your own house.

That's where the sun is

OP posts:
Miyagi99 · 05/06/2026 14:57

JLou08 · 05/06/2026 14:53

I would have just moved them away.
What a strange set up she has anyway. If she has a very long, large garden, why set up the decking and chairs right next to the neighbours garden?
I've never seen a set up like that, decking usually comes from the back of your own house.

You put it wherever you get the most sun, my friend only gets the sun at the end of her garden (surrounded by other gardens) so she has a patio and pergola there.

JLou08 · 05/06/2026 14:54

cardibach · 05/06/2026 14:51

Ypu realise not everybody has a garden with different ‘parts’ they can move to? Or enough space to not have decking or seating areas near the edge? Pretty much all of my garden is near the edge as it’s small. Lots of people have gardens like that.

The OP says it is a large, very long garden.

JLou08 · 05/06/2026 14:53

I would have just moved them away.
What a strange set up she has anyway. If she has a very long, large garden, why set up the decking and chairs right next to the neighbours garden?
I've never seen a set up like that, decking usually comes from the back of your own house.

MyDeftDuck · 05/06/2026 14:53

Well, if I’d have heard his conversation and didn’t have children close by I wouldn’t have alerted him……….but I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face whenever I saw him and his wife 😂😂😂

Bloatstoat · 05/06/2026 14:52

I don't think he was necessarily doing anything wrong - but assuming he's not some kind of pervert who wanted to be overheard, he selected what he thought was a private spot and was probably horrified/embarrassed but ultimately pleased you didn't just let him carry on when you could hear every word. So I would say not unreasonable of you to tell him!

Miyagi99 · 05/06/2026 14:51

Ablondiebutagoody · 05/06/2026 13:55

There's no children here. What was he going to do to her?

Edited

😂😂

cardibach · 05/06/2026 14:51

corkscissorschalk · 05/06/2026 14:01

I’d say that putting a seating area right next to the boundary means you will be in closer proximity to your neighbours.
I would have encouraged my kids to do something in another part of the garden, but they could just as easily have been playing outside without supervision. Unless the neighbour was involving them in the conversation then it’s just part and parcel of living close to other people.

Ypu realise not everybody has a garden with different ‘parts’ they can move to? Or enough space to not have decking or seating areas near the edge? Pretty much all of my garden is near the edge as it’s small. Lots of people have gardens like that.

5128gap · 05/06/2026 14:49

He is, but its neighbourly to have let him know that he didn't have the privacy he might have imagined. As long as it was said in a non aggressive way, I think its fine. Moving the kids out of earshot would also have been fine. No big deal either way. Just the stuff that happens when we live close to other people.

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 05/06/2026 14:46

JollyGreenWatermelon · 05/06/2026 14:39

Don't you wish all conversations went that way?

He wasn't doing anything wrong
She warned him about little kids
he stopped immediately

No argument no drama

Him stopping suddenly shows why she was correct to tell him - he would obviously have been mortified if he had realised later somehow. I am amazed you can have 2 little kids so silent the neighbour doesn't realise they're there 😂

I am amazed you can have 2 little kids so silent the neighbour doesn't realise they're there 😂

I don't think the entire "incident" went on for as long as people are imagining

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 05/06/2026 14:45

He obviously didn't want to be overheard and mustn't have realised your mate and kids were there. I guess people assume others gardens are the same as theirs. So he might have decking/kids stuff close to the house.

I'm sure he won't do it again. And yeah she really had no choice but to say something. Else they could've heard him, erm, you know. 😕

Swipe left for the next trending thread