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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have expected him to have said something?

502 replies

poorlytoe · 05/06/2026 13:21

We had a date night planned as we both thought we needed to spend some quality time together so we bought some wine, agreed on a nice meal to have just us once the little ones had gone to bed which is 7:00.

Anyway about 6:50 just as I was upstairs getting the children ready for bed and looking forward to the evening we had planned, step son turned up baring in mind he is in his 20s and lives a 10 minute walk away, I assumed he wouldn’t stay long as Dh would probably say we had already made plans this evening but Dh said nothing while our plans went down the pan and stepson sat there until 10:15 before going home and all Dh could say was it wasn’t his fault as he didn’t know he was going to turn up.
AIBU to have thought he would have said something as we had plans?
I hadn’t bought enough ingredients for a date night for 3 so I didn’t end up cooking the salmon but Dh did open the wine and pour it 3 ways.

OP posts:
FeliciaFancybottom · 05/06/2026 13:27

I don't think staying at home and eating a meal is having plans to be honest, I wouldn't consider it a date night. Eating a meal and chatting is something you do every day, surely?

Scarlettpixie · 05/06/2026 13:25

YABU to expect him to ask his son to leave when your plans only included eating dinner and chatting/sex. It would be different if you had theatre tickets or something! An established couple spending the evening together is not an event for which most people would throw out a visitor if they showed up regardless of who it was. I will always be happy to have a visit from my son. Any partner who didn't feel the same wouldn't last very long.