Only child and no neighbourhood kids left

TranscendThis
Only just seen your post. Just wanted to say thanks so much for your kind words ☺️ and I'm sorry to hear your sibling relationship sadly broke down. It's the same for me to some extent. But my DH seems to have better relationships with his although he will tell me differently!

My child is 5 & plays out all time. We’re lucky with our place that there’s lots of kids. It’s just DS, and he loves when his pals call around. We’d really miss them if they weren’t here. Sometimes he goes to their houses, or they all play out together.

We don’t do play dates, occasionally with friends from play school. I guess it’s different everywhere, but I like the fact that DS has his own social avenues. Without me involved. Other local mums are the same, we just let the kids get on with it.

Wrong thread..similar subject. Apologies. 💐

I cannot stress how many families have awful sibling relationships, ones that are actually damaging. Even those appearing great on SM, don't believe it is reflective.

The fact you wrote a post showing you care like that says you're world's ahead than so many mums who didn't genuinely care about their kids but that kid may have had siblings. A loving caring mum is the most important thing. Don't feed too much into the romanticised vision presented ref siblings.

Read posts on here and see how it often is.

There will be big social skill advantages for your child naturally finding a way to make connections. Look at every single benefit to them in being a lone child. Offer multiple opportunity to socialise and to build their skills in connection without this anxiety feeding it.

My sibling relationship has been tormented and eventually no contact was all I had left as a choice.

You say he has friends and a social life so perhaps just be happy for that? Ok it's not exactly as you had dreamed but you're talking about forests, deers and owls and quite frankly making me feel a bit sick with jealousy here.
My dd is autistic and has no friends. She's 12, she wants a friend more than anything in the world and yet lacks the skills to make and keep friends. She's an absolute sweetheart and it breaks my heart to pieces. I could count the amount of playdates she's had on one hand.
So please just be happy with what you have.

This was anecdotal. One landlord had some bad tenants they did evict (nice kids though) another evicted bc they wanted to sell, which sucked as they weren't honest.

does he do Cub Scouts- they have all sorts of outdoor adventures and fun.

We live on a pretty quiet street with lots of young kids and still no one lets their kids out to play here. I think north-south divide or regional cultures have a lot to do with this too. It’s still a thing where I’m from.

Lots of roads go through this. We moved into a street full of kids while I was pregnant with dc1. Now those already established families are empty nest houses, lots of teens at uni for our road. We’re probably going to stay here even after our dcs grow up and leave home, I can see me going from this house to the care home as it’s a great location for when we age. I think many of those other couples who moved here with young dcs will do the same.

perhaps in 30 years time we’ll all sell up and suddenly it’ll become a street for young families again.

I would let him join as many clubs and extra curricular activities as possible and he'll meet friends that way and then he can invite friends round for play dates. Something similar has happened in my area and elderly retired couples have moved in and they're extremely intolerant and rude to my DS if he goes outside and bounces a ball. I feel sad for him too. People complain about kids not playing anymore but our elderly population doesn't make it pleasant for them if they do.

We shouldn't judge other cultures.

If a younger family moves in they rent, and then the landllord licks them out.

Canadian landlords sound kinda pervy.

I've noticed similar. There are lots of kids in the wider neighborhood, (including more expensive streets than ours) but it's all older families/couples that are buying houses when one comes up for sale. I think it's a housing affordability thing.

If a younger family moves in they rent, and then the landllord licks them out. (I'm in Canada.)

How about him joining a team sport?

I didn't play out as a child - despite being a child of the 80s/90s, my parents would not have allowed me to be unsupervised at primary age. I really don't feel I missed out on anything.

My kids do after school club most days and I feel like that is the best of both worlds - they get unstructured play with their friends but in a safe environment

This has always been my biggest fear for DS. I wanted another DC so he wouldn't be alone especially when we're gone. It wasn't possible sadly and we can't adopt. I can only hope that he finds a loving partner and has his own family one day.

My childhood involved playing with the kids on our cul de sac of various ages. However we now live on quite a busy main road through an estate so that wasn't possible for my son until he was old enough to cross the road and go to the park. Instead we arranged playdates with friends from school. It was still a lovely childhood.

It happens now, especially when there are a few rentals. Are you part of the school watsapp group? set up some play days in the local
park.

I was that child! 😄

There were very few children around where I grew up and if you can't move there's not much you can do about it. Playdates with school/club friends etc are fine, but those kids ultimately go home to their siblings and friends at home.

It is what it is ultimately. I didn't find it too difficult because I didn't know any different. Being an only child is much much more difficult and lonely as an adult than it is as a child.

New build estate mum here! DS is 12 and when we first moved here all the kids in the road congregated to play outside the house. It was ace! Then they grew up and suddenly disappeared and I found out they were at home playing games online so never actually went outside. I thought how sad that was. The kids are still young and definitely too young to be playing stuff like Fortnite which DS isn't into. Sign of the times for sure

Does your son actually want to be playing out with other local kids? You mentioned that he already has other activities and friends. It may be a non-issue.

My kids don’t play out. Back garden or play dates. Was he really playing out alone long before 7? Honestly don’t know anyone whose kids play out. I agree new build estates are probably your best bet.

Im confused about how youre missing it if for a few years there have only been teenagers? Surely he wasnt playing out alone at 4 or 5?

@NoSuchBass we've had quite a few babies born on my development now - since I moved here three years ago. It was a brand-new development at the time so the First Baby of the Development was a big deal 😂

Is this a kind of fundamental discontent thing?

Like people will always look around and say they can't see what it is that they want to see?

I'm fine with where I live. I hate the sound of kids playing outside 😂 and I must admit I was expecting a lot less of it when I moved here, but it's definitely a mix of age groups, family statuses, though as usual, there aren't many single women around. I feel like all the single women live in London. Possibly the only thing I miss about London - being able to go to anything and there would be lots of single women.

I really should count my blessings being fine where I live. You do have to cross your fingers and hope it doesn't go wrong pretty quickly though, especially in flats. The UK in 2026, things can go wrong pretty damn quick.