Are parents too involved in teenagers' A levels and independence compared to how they used to be?

There is a choice about what car you have. Almost no-one needs an SUV that most of those who have one cannot drive adequately.

As many have noted, I don't think it's just about A levels or exams in general. Some of it is worry, especially as technology allows you to know more about what your children are doing.

Thank you @MeetMeOnTheCorner
We only have hourly trains and hourly buses, but the buses only go between our village and the towns either side of us and run at the same time as the trains.

Our MP is trying to get the bus company to amend their timetable so that they run halfway between train times so that we can have half hourly public transport out of the village.

Uber have started to venture out our way, but it is hit and miss.

@RampantIvy I do think people in cities or large towns just don’t get it. There simply aren’t transport links available morning noon and night!

I must admit that I get extremely irritated by the "just use a bus/tram/train/get an Uber" posts because they are inevitably posted by people who live where they are plentiful and who can't envisage what it is like to live in rural areas or towns where public transport is not every few minutes.

Not much choice for many - my children went to a 6th form that was 18min travel by car - but only one council bus at each end of the day (too late for their first lesson and at 4pm in the evening when they didn’t/don’t finish until 5pm)… by train it was 1hr 40mins each way.

So many schools and 6th form colleges have merged into super sites and are not local any more. The public transport offerings are woeful and subject to cancellations/delays. There is no choice but to ferry them around - and I don’t even live anywhere remote as I am in prime commuter belt for London.

@Thechaseison71 It depends where you live? We don’t have a bus within 2 miles and few a day in the nearest village. Cycling down narrow lanes didn’t appeal either as it’s very dangerous around the bends! So yes, we chose to take them to see friends. However my DDs both did a school exchange to South Africa at age 13 for a term and we just took them to Heathrow. They changed planes in Joburg. So not cycling or getting a bus didn’t infantalise them and they could also navigate London safely too despite is being country bumpkins.

Both DH and I have STEM and science degrees by training. We've been teaching them and helping them with maths since primary. My DS could easily do GCSE level maths in primary, I even taught him a few a level concepts which he could do. We could readily help with mathematics education.

I ask how they're getting on, buy any resources they ask for to help and found a tutor when they asked for one, all led by them.

I've not forced uni or completing a UCAS form and left them to hunt for an apprebtiship on the basis they wanted to be treated like an adult. I do wonder of that was a mistake as they have nothing sorted now A Levels are finished, but I'm trying to be supportive rather than pushy which I find a difficult balance tbh.

I grew up with a single parent with mental health issues and she knew when my A Levels were and that I had applied to Uni and that was it!

My stepdaughter's now 30, but she was nearly 12 when I came into her mum's and her life. She was in danger of sliding into this socially isolated and inept lifestyle, but I like to think we guided her properly. She was going into Glasgow city centre at 13 with her pals on a Saturday, and doing loads of activities at night and weekends.

Edited for punctuation.

Sure not all parents drive though. Especially in cities

You do sound quite angry. Of course your point of view is valid, and other people are allowed to share other views.

Glad to hear it.

My daughter used public transport to cross the country when she was 13, with a friend. She hadn't had much experience of public transport except us occasionally taking the train to the city together but managed it well despite that.

Gosh, you sound angry. DD uses public transport except when it is cancelled or the train drivers are on strike, so plan b is mum's taxi.Public transport isn't plentiful where we live, but we all use it when and where possible.

That's where these smothery helicopter parents do their damage by shuttling their kids about in steel, four wheeled cocoons, thereby shielding their kids from everything and everyone.

I know, we don't go ourselves (only went today to please my parents)

I'm in a county famed for its lack of socialness but neighbours still talk to each other, at least in the areas I've lived. But we're on holiday in the UK now and people are very chatty to strangers so I find it hard to imagine children growing up not conversing with older people.

But teenagers under 17 can't possibly drive so they need to be able to use public transport or cycle surely

You citing Church is a red herring. There are plenty of situations in which people of every persuasion interact. I'm shy myself, painfully so as a child and in my early teens, but I sure as Hell realised I had to overcome that in order to get on in life, and my point of view and opinion were just as valid as anybody else's.

In some streets yes, in others no. My street is very quiet, the neighbours are not around much to talk to.

Very few people go to church, surely you understand that?

Oh, Jesus Wept, we're bringing up a society of oddballs nowadays. No doubt somebody'll be on to defend this bizarre parenting.

Our 2-year-old DD is quite shy… unless we’re at church as she’s already sussed to what old ladies to be friendly with (the ones who are in charge of the cake and biscuits!)

Turned around, and there she was sitting on her new friend’s knee yapping away eating custard creams.

There were always socially awkward people, you're just looking back with rose tinted glasses. Watch Open All Hours - look how often Granville got bollocked for having no clue what to do or say. So many vintage sitcoms with grumpy older people exasperated at incompetent younger people. It's just generational exasperation.

I enjoyed the recent McDonald's ad that tackles this grumpy bias.

When I went parents were financially assessed and I just dealt with student finance myself.

I left uni with no debts because I thought about how to manage the finance aspect before I went.

My parents were completely unimpacted by me going to university. They made no contributions to my course.

Don't people talk to their neighbours any more? My neighbours are mostly older people and my children have always talked to them so my teenager has grown up knowing how to talk to people. We're on holiday now and both children have had polite conversations with strangers at my parents' church. They're not as used to it as I was as a child though, but my parents were extremely social so we were always visiting people or having people visit us so I had a lot more practice but I still tried my best with my kids.