AIBU to be fed up with my five-year-old needing toilet company at home?

I just asked my 6-year old again why he’s scared to go to the bathroom (eg scared of toilet flush/ spiders in the bath/ shadows on the mirror, etc).

He said there’s two reasons:
he doesn’t like be alone
he’s afraid a bad man will be upstairs and will kidnap him. He said they could have a ladder and take him away down the ladder.

So I’ll go with him while he needs it.

Abusive?

Sunday surfing - why would you want to be so nasty to a young child !

Baby tell him you’ll put him in nappies for now until he’s ready to go by himself

Mine stopped doing this at 6.
I didn’t mind going with them until they stopped asking. But each to their own.

When we were sleep training my then toddler we had a cushion that we put right by the bed and sat on until she fell asleep and then every few nights we moved it literally an inch away from where it was previously. It took quite a while but eventually we were on the landing, then the stairs, then the downstairs hall, then the living room. I wonder if you could use the same technique here?

Tread carefully, my 8 year old son has such a toilet fear he just soils himself. He is autistic though but it might just be worth carrying on going to the toilet with your son and wait for him to grow out of it

He's only 5 so seemingly irrational fears are completely normal for his age. "It's not safe to go without Mum in a cafe" can easily become confused with "it's not safe to go without Mum whenever she's with me" in a child's mind. His instincts are very much wrapped up in understanding the world by following your lead and he may not have twigged that safety rules can vary according to location. You could try emphasising that home is his safe space and has different 'rules' from the outside world. And maybe model it physically by playing hide and seek as a "game that we play when we get home" to help him understand the distinction and establish some positive associations with being out of sight at home?

I get the 5 is young but we had to nip this in the bud because he wanted company and to be entertained. We'd read book after book and sometimes he'd not poo. Now we say if he starts pooing we will read a book. But that's only his dad. I am mean and don't entertain on the potty.

Just go with him, it’s not a big deal. My 6yo went through phases when he was 5 that he wouldn’t stay in a room on his own, not even his bedroom, no matter day or night, he always had to be in a room with me. It lasted couple of months. He was just scared but he couldn’t say why.

Is he scared or is it an attention thing? If he is scared, then you need to get to the bottom of it. But if it's attention seeking behaviour, I wouldn't pander to it. There are surely more positive ways to get your attention.

I have memories of being afraid of the toilet flushing when I was little, probably around that age. How it sounded like toilet monsters As I has a little sister my mum couldn't come with me and I used to not flush or if I had to I'd run out as fast as I could.
I didn't stay frightened of the flush forever. Annoying as it is is go with your little one. If you can find out what the problem is maybe you can do something about it.
My daughter has a little dog who follows everyone to the toilet and stays with you while you are in there, I'd recommend such a doggie for anyone who feels lonely going to the loo. I guess the dogs reasoning is that you look after him when you go for a walk and he needs a poo so it's only fair that he does the same .for you

He's only 5 🙄, literally just out of babyhood.

Ooo flashback! Both my DC went through a weird phase of being scared to go to the toilet alone. Bathrooms are echoey places, and 5 year olds aren't exactly logical creatures.

It will pass. Quite suddenly with no explanation in my experience.

My 5 year old has needed company for the toilet his whole life. He gets frightened that there might be monsters in the toilet. It used to drive me absolutely nuts, until he started saying "I'm going to the toilet, i don't need you" and I was thinking "yes you do need me, don't go growing up so quickly!" It passes, and I kind of miss it!

Just realised I’ve said the same as a lot of people.‘I need to read the full thread before commenting (before someone else tells me to 😂)

Personally I would try and make my kid feel more comfortable instead of a flat out no. Every phase passes and if this is something that’s making him feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, I would just allow this 2 mins of my time a few times a day

Only this last week, our 5 year old grandson who always wanted company in the toilet, said, out of the blue, he was no longer afraid of the toilet flushing. None of us knew he had been!

Annoying. Is there an underlying attachment issue? If not humour him. He will soon grow out of it. How about offering a small bribe when he goes on his own.

I would simply say no. Not a big issue is it?

ok so he’s not able to verbalise what is bothering him exactly about the toilet / bathroom?
there will be something random that’s put him off going alone ?
sound of the flush ? a mirror placed somewhere that’s he’s scared to look into ?
shadows ??
it will pass , yes it’s a bit annoying for you but keep going and talk to him about what’s bothering him

My 4 year old does the same, says he gets lonely so I have to wait at the bottom of the stairs so we can talk. Its a tad annoying when your cooking or what not but I will probably also miss him wanting me to chat while he goes toilet when he stops asking!

You sound lazy tbh. I’m still accompanying my 18 year old to the toilet due to her significant SEN. He’s 5. He’ll grow out of it. In the meantime, get off your arse and stop making him feel bad.

Perhaps something has happened that has scared him.

Have you talked to him about why he needs you in the bathroom with him.

I have until very recently gone into public toilets with both my grandchildren and stood by the door while they went inside.

You cannot be too careful with small children these days.

he will want his independence at some point
just follow his lead op