To question if I should continue to out with my DH

I would hardly call ‘he disappears completely and avoids me on the dance floor’ a statement that the op just wants to follow him around. Most people are on board with the idea of wanting to spend some time socially with their partner. We don’t keep them in closets and only get them out and tolerate them when social mores require it like a wedding invite with a plus one.

My ex did this all the time so i divorced him. No brainer.

It sounds like you are different personalities. Im a social butterfly and when im out, especially at weddings and parties, I like to socialise as for me thats the point. I might go to the bar and get chatting or get dragged to the dance floor etc. I can see my partner anytime but its great to catch up with and spend time with others and meet new people. Personally I couldnt date someone who would just sit and wait for me to come back from the bar or moan if I wasn't glued to their side. Ive dated introverts before, it just didn't work. I get that some people aren't comfortable but for me having to constantly check in with someone or be by their side is boring. Yanbu but I dont think he is either, you are just different

I wouldn’t go, if he isn’t interested in spending any time with you and if you don’t know many other people at the event.

Mine used to do this to me, so every time he disappeared I used to go home. It really pissed him off which was kind of the point.

I get it. When he doesn't know people, he relies on you to draw him in, remember he's there, smooth the social path and generally have his back.

When you're out somewhere that is a place he feels totally comfortable, he doesn't have a part of his mind doing the same for you - he just thinks about his own stuff and maximising his own social benefit.

I think you need to walk him slowly through what happens when he's at an event with your friends. "You went to the bar, so then you came back... why didn't you stop and strike up a conversation with people on the way back? Oh you didn't know them? So you felt more comfortable talking to people you knew well? Remember then I started talking to Flip and Flop, my friends, and I brought you into the conversation? You might not even have noticed it but I was making sure you always had a comfortable social chat, as well as making sure that I did."

If he acknowledges this you can say please could he try to do this more for you while you're out, as it is a kindness to you that matters a lot to you.

If he says he doesnt notice it and doesn't care and you're free to leave him on his own too, blah blah, you say yes but this is something that matters a lot to me and would be a kindness that means a great deal to me - it might not be important to you but to me it signals your love and care for me. Can you do it?

He would probably then bluster and say it's unreasonable of you to want it and it will spoil his pleasure... then you calmly say yes and this is really important to me because I love you and it's a way I'm asking you to show you love me. If you don't want to that's fine but it will mean that we don't go out together so often, which is a sad thing for our marriage. I am willing to try being more of an effortful social butterfly and giving you space at your events, so long as you make a similar effort for me.

Then it's in his court.

So at weddings/events where it is all his family he goes to the bar and ends up distracted talking to his family members on the way back. - sounds normal.
But at your family weddings where he doesn’t know so many people he comes straight back from the bar and sits with you.

I don’t think this is unusual. My DH is shy and this would match what he does. I’m happy he can enjoy his family get togethers because he knows everyone so well.

I'd either follow him, or more likely as I don't like going out I wouldn't go out with him. Whichever way you look at it , it's not a good sign.

He says he’ll try not to do it again. I’d give the chance to do this. Then I’d stop if it happens again.

Surely you can just chat to people or dance and have fun without him being by your side? Or do you struggle socially? I don't really understand the expection that you'd be glued to each other's side all night, you are two separate individuals, not one unit. I'd find it suffocating if DH expected to be following me around all evening at a social event.

Do you mean he is leaving you on your own when it's just the two of you out on your own (so not with friends or family as well)? That I wouldn't be happy with.

This is my husband, he is a social butterfly and to be fair he has always been like this and will be the same with my family as well as his.
My strategy is to twofold. Firstly to know it is coming and to talk to and enjoy the company of other people and not try to stay with him. I would DEFINITELY do it to him at events with your family and friends to give him a taste of his own medicine as your DH seems selfish - i’ll leave you on your own where I know everyone but expect you to stick with me where i need you. The other way I manage it is to make sure we can travel home separately. This is the big one. My DH cannot leave before the end of the party no matter how long it lasts. I chat to others, have fun then tell him I’m leaving. He used to complain initially but we had the conversation, I explained my PoV, he understood and now, no problem.

This.

What does he say when you ask him about it?

Why would he be sitting on his own at your family weddings? He sounds sociable so surely he’d just go and chat to people.

Weddings are a great opportunity to catch up with old friends, and even make new ones. You don’t have to be joined at the hip all night.

If you're not having fun, don't go.

You could try copying his behaviour at your next friends or family event. My guess is he'd have something to say.

Hide from him?! Really?

It happens with me and my DH. We're together all the time, parties are a chance to socialise with other people. We don't need to be by each other's side all night. Our own wedding was probably the most time we spent together at a party but even then we had times off talking or dancing with others individually.

You go off and find someone to chat to. Hide from him. See if he misses you, at least you’ll see what’s going on. I’m a social butterfly but so is my partner.

Me too, I’ll often get caught up chatting or make a new friend. We don’t need to be joined at the hip at parties.
i get feeling weirder as it’s new behaviour though. I’ve always been like this.