To wonder why we have more than one child?

You haven’t explained why, though. Why does it only apply to the first one?

The car analogy doesn’t work. Cars are fungible, depreciating assets of varying value and many people will, in fact, own more than one in their lifetime.

Bossy tone? Pot/kettle.
Maybe join a parenting class for RL support.
The good is supposed to outweigh the bad, if this is not happening for you, seek some outside help.
Before you assume I’m berating you again, I’m not, when DS was first diagnosed, I got outside support. It shouldn’t be this horrible.

I’m a bit baffled by this. Why does that only apply to the first one? You get having a child to have a child, but not having two (or three, or however many) to have two?

The hard part will pass, you won’t always feel like it is a chore

Maybe not for the parents. But having a younger sibling is now a chore for me. And she's still work for my parents despite being in her mid thirties and married with her own home.

Your experience is that it's been worth it. That is not everyone's. And that is ok.

But other people are also giving their experiences, which gives a balanced view of why people have made the decisions they have, how a range of people feel about it etc.

OP, and in fact anyone, is allowed to have a conversation with people saying either things.

There's a lot of people on a lot of threads who will try and force their opinions or beliefs as an absolute fact or the only right thing. OP hasn't done that, she's just giving her experience and asking questions.

I only have one. I was so anxious my entire pregnancy that something would go wrong, I couldn’t “roll the dice” again in case I got a different result.

I never said STFU.
I am entitled to comment on any thread. I’m not saying it’s easy. Believe it or not I had moments of regret too, my DS was a very difficult baby, both have genetic conditions, on different levels, DD is kind patient loving, DS much very impatient, boisterous as a younger child. The hard part will pass, you won’t always feel like it is a chore.
My apologies, these threads really reinforce any fears that parents have about having a second child. No one said it was easy, every year gets easier but it’s not hell on earth either.
Hos old are your children?

I get that but I still don't think it's something that should be relayed to the kids involved as is the case with the pp who appears to know her mum regretted having more than one child.

its been explained 1000’s of times why people have a 2nd or 3rd but your determined stick on the concept that people have their 2nd for their first, they want two children, it isn’t a spare or a playmate, they are a very much wanted and loved second or third child.
You imagine all sibling relationships are about rivalry or torture but it’s amazing for many families.
If you want to have one child that’s fine, no point in pretending that others have two for silly reasons.
I live in an area with a lot of children, some from one, some from larger families, who all play happily. Especially on the rainy days, we built castles out of cushions and blankets, had colouring competitions.
Teaching children to respect their sibling, share and care from an early age sets them up as closer siblings. It’s mostly parents who cause the division between sibling relationships.
There is nothing wrong but bring an only but there also nothing wrong with having siblings.

I have to say almost as soon as DD was born, our family felt instantly more balanced to me - the kids and the parents rather than like a triangle honing in on DS.

I think this is how I felt too, and one of the reasons I preferred being a parent of two. Of course I found life busier with two, but with one it had felt intense in a different, and to me less enjoyable, way. Lots of people have said that a good thing about having one is that you can give them your full attention, but I'm not sure that for me both of us giving all our attention to one child was such a great dynamic! I think I am naturally a bit of an obsessor/perfectionist, and for me having two forced me to let some small stuff go in a way that was pretty positive. But I am also perhaps influenced by DH, who was an only child and found it intense in a not great way.

I feel this massively. Since I was about 7 I've been told I need to look after my sister. And the expectation is that when those bad times come, I deal with them and look after her.

Even both being adults, married with our own homes, I often get told things like dads in for tests for xyz but don't tell your sister, she'll only worry.

I am not going to be allowed to fully grieve when the time comes, because I'll have to handle everything and stop her falling apart. And she falls apart if her car needs new tyres, so I'm dreading the future tbh.

How do you know your mum regretted having two children?
Did she actually tell you that? Or through her actions?
Either way, it's a pretty awful thing for a child to know that about their parent and I am sorry you do, it must be hard to know that.

I hope and assume that anyone who does have these feelings keeps it to themselves because surely it's pretty damaging to children to know they or their siblings are "regretted" by their parents?

I think you are just overwhelmed right now. Whilst I don’t have a relationship with my sibling I can see how much my kids love each other and how having a sibling has enriched their childhood.

I understand where you’re coming from but I think it’s about having someone who is experiencing the same things as you when it comes to parents (ageing or otherwise). My DF died when I was very young and I felt very alone in my grief for him and sometimes still do. He didn’t get the opportunity to age and become someone who depended on me, but having a sibling who I could share that grief in might have really helped.

I think that’s a perfectly fair point.

I think you see the opposite side when you don't get on with your own siblings, though.

DH and I both have multiple siblings with whom we have loving, supportive relationships. Our lives would be immeasurably poorer without them. There was never any question that we’d give our DC the opportunity to have the same.

You can’t control whether your kids get on, but the chances of that happening are considerably higher when said kids exist.

I do know someone who said they had a second child so the burden of caring for them when they aged would be reduced. I too thought it was a strange thing to say at the time, but now I completely get it.