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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why we have more than one child?

340 replies

whydowe · 04/06/2026 21:34

I posted recently on a FB parenting group at the end of my tether with my two kids. I was honest that I like parenting them both apart but not together. Was pleasantly surprised by the kind responses and overwhelmingly the responses were ‘me too.’

I guess I’m wondering why we do it. I know a lot of people seem to have a second to give the first a brother / sister but have to admit that wasn’t my motivation; I really wanted another child, think I had a feeling of having missed out over covid.

Why do we want a second so much?

OP posts:
BlueSherbet · 04/06/2026 21:57

whydowe · 04/06/2026 21:39

Do you think so? As I think that’s obvious; to have a child! Having had a child, why do we seek to add to this?

Show quote history

A long term inadequate birth rate is one of the major problems the UK (and much of Europe) has.

somanychristmaslights · 04/06/2026 21:53

I’m not close to my DB even though there’s only 3 years between us. I think that’s maybe why I never had to urge to give DS a sibling.
im happy with one. I love him so much, I love being a boy mum and doing boy things. I couldn’t imagine trying to spread myself to someone else too (apart from DH of course!)

MissCooCooMcgoo · 04/06/2026 21:52

For me, because they're bloody lovely. The little shits 🤣 Genuinely my absolute favourite people.

UserNineNine · 04/06/2026 21:51

For me it was because I loved the childhood I had with my sibling and I really value the relationship that new have now. I wanted that for my own dc. That shared history is not something that you can ever have with anyone else.

Error404FucksNotFound · 04/06/2026 21:50

I dont think its a logical decision. We are animals and like all animals we are driven to reproduce.
Not every member of the species has that drive, but generally speaking, its instinct that we dress up as carefully thought out choice.

EarringsandLipstick · 04/06/2026 21:50

This is kind of a strange question OP.

Like any other choice in life, people decide based on personal preference, life circumstances and practicalities.

I wanted 4 DC. I’m one of 4 myself. For me, I couldn’t imagine only 1 child. In the end I had 3, due to my marriage ending. Not logical at all, but I still feel sad I didn’t have 4.

LookInsideMySpottyBag · 04/06/2026 21:47

I would have 5/6 children if I could afford them and knew I wouldn’t feel guilty about giving them enough of my time equally.
We have 3 and it’s heaven for me 98% of the time (I know it’s not for everyone and every family is different)

vladimirVsvolodymr · 04/06/2026 21:47

I am an only child so I’m not going to have one child if possible. I had two and for a few years it felt like someone was missing until I had my third and my heart and home is full.

Pyjamatimenow · 04/06/2026 21:45

Well for me it was that I loved the first one so much I didn’t want her to miss out on a sibling .

Toomuchadmins · 04/06/2026 21:43

It’s a biological imperative.

Ipsevenenabibas · 04/06/2026 21:42

whydowe · 04/06/2026 21:39

Do you think so? As I think that’s obvious; to have a child! Having had a child, why do we seek to add to this?

Show quote history

It's a simple matter of biology.

HouseMartinsHome · 04/06/2026 21:41

I had 2 close together so there wasn't really any thoughts process!

But now they are older I absolutely love their relationship and also how different they are. Getting to know their personalities. Seeing how the genes get mixed up and how they are similar and different at the same time.

I find one child on their own much harder than doing things as a gang.

I would have loved to keep having babies tbh!

Original poster
whydowe · 04/06/2026 21:39

BlessedCheesemaker · 04/06/2026 21:37

It would be equally valid to ask why have one at all?

Do you think so? As I think that’s obvious; to have a child! Having had a child, why do we seek to add to this?

OP posts:
BlessedCheesemaker · 04/06/2026 21:37

It would be equally valid to ask why have one at all?

HotGazpacho · 04/06/2026 21:37

I stopped at one. I knew my own limits. 😂 Occasionally I thought about siblings for my DC but I knew deep down I was only capable of being a decent mum to one child. I don’t have the patience or the attention span for any more.