To wonder why we have more than one child?

Ohh I have 2 and would love another 2, but may run out of time so will aim for 3. I love them, I find babies quite easy to deal with, love watching the sibling relationship develop. I was also one of two, and always wished we had another sibling to bounce off as well. Parent is an only child and hated it so much, which probably subconsciously influenced me

It wasn’t logical for me at all.

I was iffy about the first, but dh really wanted us to have a baby. I hated being pregnant and the labour was awful. But from the moment she was born, my body absolutely craved another and the longing only subsided when I got pregnant again .

I was miserable through that pregnancy, gave birth (I remember begging dh to make sure we never had another) and from the moment I held the baby in my arms, desperately wanted another.

DH held firm, and the desperate desire eventually subsided when dc was about six.

I have 3, but quite big age gaps, they are now 32, 21 and 18. No 1 was not intentional (I was 16) but 2 and 3 were because I genuinely wanted a baby. DS2 was a difficult baby, but due to health issues, milk allergy so no doubt uncomfortable and cried a lot. But been very lucky as all great kids. I am ready now for a rest, and putting myself first a bit more. 13 days and the school run is over for good, 28yrs after I first started it!

I'm an only child and didn't want that for my own children.

My Mum was one of 8 and wanted an only because of her childhood of hand-me-downs and sharing a home with so many silblings

I’m one of six! There was nothing awful in childhood and we all have a good relationship. I have an only, I got the impression very early on that my dc was born to be an only and likely wouldn’t cope with a sibling. 13 years on and thankfully I read right and a sibling would have been a worst night apparently!

Interestingly of the six of us siblings two of us have only’s, two have three and two have none at all. None of us have gone on to recreate the family we came from. My dc and my brothers only are close as cousins almost like siblings but able to have space from each other.

Yeah sure, parents are just THAT selfless they're having kids they don't want for their first child. I'll bet if the child wanted a puppy instead and the parents didn't they suddenly wouldn't be so selfless...

I would've loved to be an only child-I basically grew up as one anyway as I have much older siblings. My mum had a wonderful life, so did my two best friends who were only children. I on the other hand am NC with one sibling and LC with the other (they are both NC with each other too) I only stay LC with one so my mum doesn't have to host 3 separate Christmases.

It’s so interesting that I posed right after you, saying practically the direct opposite, even though we’re both only children. ☺️

I would only ever have one, as an only child myself I always knew that I would only have one.

It’s not to say I don’t see the appeal of having more but I like to be able to dedicate 100% of everything to my only. It’s not logical but I feel like every resource, (money, attention, time, etc.) would be halved by having another. I can invest everything into the one and give her the best childhood possible. Even down the road when looking at inheritance my only child will get everything, no arguments or hassle.

I loved being an only child, felt sorry for my cousins who had lots of siblings running around and resented it. My DH always wished (probably still wishes) he was an only too so he was in agreement, it was never even a consideration.

The only downside I see is the possibility for loneliness but that hasn’t been an issue at all because I’m able to invest in supporting friendships and close family bonds.

I don’t think it’s the ‘right’ choice but it certainly is the right choice for us.

Only child from small family and found it sort of ok at times but equally incredibly lonely. I'd love a sibling even now as an adult. It's a relationship I'll never experience.
As soon as I was pregnant with my first I knew I'd want another just for them to not have the same feelings I did.

They play beautifully sometimes, it's tricky but worth it for them to have a constant playmate.

If you ever want 2 kids to feel easy then just have a third, then 2 feels like a holiday 😀

Only child from small family and found it sort of ok at times but equally incredibly lonely. I'd love a sibling even now as an adult. It's a relationship I'll never experience.
As soon as I was pregnant with my first I knew I'd want another just for them to not have the same feelings I did.

They play beautifully sometimes, it's tricky but worth it for them to have a constant playmate.

If you ever want 2 kids to feel easy then just have a third, then 2 feels like a holiday 😀

I am an only child - I swore I would not have an only child.
I have two adult children. They did not get along well as kids and teenagers but are now really close.
Hang on in there OP.

It really isn’t.

I'm the eldest and have two younger siblings. In my thoughts I used to ask my parents this exact question constantly.

My first was the “perfect” baby, chilled, slept through 7-7 from 14 weeks old and still does now sg 3. Thought this is wonderful, let’s go again! 9 month old DS is the COMPLETE opposite 😂 we adore him obviously, just as much as we do DD but he is feisty, not laid back and doesn't love sleep so no more for us 🤣 first lulled me into a false sense of security lol.

Everyone thinks they are an amazing parent so go on to have another. Then they realise they weren’t so brilliant and just got lucky first time round.

I still often wish I’d had a fourth…

Speaking as another only child, that’s utter bullshit.

You don’t have more than one for you, you do it for your children. Who’d want to be an only child? It’s not the end of the world, but having siblings to grow up with is the ideal.

I think this is what I remember being called "self selection bias" in a survey (I know it was a Facebook post, not a survey) but the only people who felt compelled to respond to you was because they agreed with you, which reinforced your feelings and now you think everyone feels that way. Most people wouldn't respond to a post of someone saying how much they are struggling with their 2 kids to say "well I had 10 and its wonderful" but plenty of people do enjoy having multiple children and don't find it an issue.

A lot of people on this thread love chaos and noise - not me 😂 i’m an introvert mum with an extroverted child. Although other kids are always welcome in my house , i love chatting to kids and i like DDs friends i just never wanted another one of my own.
Whereas i’m 1 of 2 with strict parents and although we had each other, friends we’re never allowed in the house.
I don’t know which is ‘better’ really!

I was possibly unusual for an 18 year old young man, in that I absolutely knew that I wanted to be a dad.
My own parents weren't perfect, but they raised me well, and gave a brilliant example of how to try your hardest (often against the odds - they were poor immigrants when they first got here).
It was their example that inspired me, if I'm honest, plus the biological imperative that some have mentioned above.
We stopped at 3, admitting we probably didn't have it in us to do it all again.
My kids are now all adults, out in the world and enthusiastically living their lives. For me, that's what it's all about. It's what humans do.
Unfortunately my parents didn't live long enough to meet the the children they inspired, but my kids know that they come from a background of love, and trying your best.

Couldn’t bare the idea that my oldest being lonely. Realise now I was projecting my own childhood experience. However, they so close.

I loved having one and had a second so my first wouldn't be alone when we pass on.
In hindsight, I should have had one child as I was a better parent to one.

Oh see, I'm at the other end of the scale and just love being surrounded by my children, even with all the chaos and noise. We're about to have our eighth and I couldn't imagine a life where we had stopped at one.

my kids are so lovely together, most of the time, I'd hate for them not to have a peer in the family and once they're older I hope they will always have each other.