To wonder why we have more than one child?

I just whinge to my DH and adult DS!

Edited: sorry that sounded a bit flippant in light of your loss.

My point was that you don't need to have two or more children specifically so that they have someone to whinge to about their aging parents.

No, nothing is a guarantee.

Agreed.

But I'm just making the point that people talking about wanting a second to split the load of aging parents aren't guaranteeing that will happen for their first.

Everything in life is a chance. My parents had 2 children for whatever reason, and then one died. I imagine they didn’t anticipate that happening.
We all make decisions based on our own personal experiences.

I've got a sister. She'll be an addition to the load, not someone to split it with.

It's always a bit of a chance as to whether siblings will actually help with that tbh.

Yes, my brother died of young and I find the pressure of being an only child to ageing parents really difficult. I wish I had him here to share some the load with. Or even to just whinge to, about them 😁

We wanted a sibling for our child. I have friends who are single children now coping on their own with ageing parents and similar and it’s a lot. I have my sibs to share the load.
I also adore them. For many people your brother or sister will be the longest relationship you’ll ever have.

I have a few half-hearted pangs but as we’re preparing for our only to start reception in September, I feel done with the nursery years and glad we don’t have another still at nursery!

I agree with this. I am much, much closer to my friends than my siblings but our parents dying was quite a bonding experience.

And although we’re not particularly close, I can’t imagine my childhood without them.

Me too. I needed my siblings when my parents died. We are not particularly close but we have a shared childhood and memories. The thought of my child having no one to share memories with was enough for me to want more than one.

Nor me. I watch my friends wrestle with two kids, constant fighting, jealousy etc and am glad I stuck with one.
I got a dog instead which has taught dd responsibility and consideration for others. She’s a teen now and loves it how it is. Maybe she’d have loved a sibling, who knows. All her friends have one sibling and they don’t speak positively about them.

lost both parents young and would have found it harder without siblings. Was a big driver for me to not leave DC1 alone in the world

I didn’t want a second one for ages. Then I had this overwhelming urge to have another. 5 months in I'm questioning everything.

I have 3 and have never really struggled with having them together. They all get on well, and we’ve got to ages 13, 11 and 7 with just mild bickering. So I guess the answer is that it isn’t the same for everyone? I had 3 because I wanted 3.

Totally agree wrt affordability and practicality - It was this way before women entered the workforce in large numbers.

Today, government / employers must do everything possible to make it affordable and practical, but its unlikely they could ever match the pre-60s scenario, though they certainly can do better than what we have now.

Well then it needs to be affordable and practical for people to have more children. Otherwise, we have no other option do we?

And Australia will seem more attractive in climate but they are much better at controlling immigration than we likely ever will be. And it's much more expensive to live there. Plus, they don't just hand out benefits to people who arrive.

So, you know, they might not get the young skilled workers...

We are still Brits if we're born and raised here, by the way, regardless of the genetics.

The end game of this scenario is that every developed nation ends up fighting over young, well educated, skilled people. That is already happening to some extent. Places like Australia, with the good weather, will always do well against the UK in that game.

Also, diversifying the gene pool too much means we are not really a nation or people anymore; fair enough if you are fine with that, but a lot of people would not be.

Ultimately, successful, stable societies have the be able to sustain themselves.

Any student of history knows how important the birth rate is to a nation and its fortunes.

My mate openly said she had more than 1 incase 1 predeceased her

Me too. I had 1, never felt the urge for another and have 0 regrets.

You don't need to balance it 😊 That's great you haven't regretted it so it really shouldn't bother you that other people have different experiences if that's the case?

Op asked what made people want 2 children and I answered it 😊

I’ve got one child because I knew my limitations and I’d probably have ended up in the psych ward if I’d had two.
My DS is suspected AUDHD (on waiting list) and is enough for two, other parents have said this to me, so not just my perspective!

Nor me.

I know 2 people with only children and both really regret it

To provide balance to this anecdote, I have never regretted sticking to one child. 🙂

Like lots of other posters I was strongly driven by really being against having an only child. I know 2 people with only children and both really regret it, they often join us to be part of a family on days out and both say how difficult it is for them as parents and for the child.

Having our 2nd was the best decision we ever made (this is just our experience). As adults we can't play with a child like another child can, ours have a best friend and make up the most amazing games and make believe lands and stories! They sing and dance, watch movies, oldest reads to the little one. We do a lot as a family and are very close so when we are off travelling it means they have each other and me and DH also get to spend time together. They absolutely adore each other. I know all siblings are not like this so we are very lucky.

I loved being a mom to my first and wanted a second so I had another child to love and bring up as well as my first having a sibling/playmate and I love life with them both. They’re only 19 months apart so one is now 2.5 and the other is 11 months, I love playing with them together and watching them interact, today I took them both to a trampoline park and Friday took them both to soft play. As I said to my partner it’s bloody hard work doing stuff like that with them both as my oldest wants to run off and I chase behind with my non-walking baby! But I wouldn’t have it any other way, it’s the best thing ever spending the days with the two of them, so for me that’s what made me want a second!