To be cringed out by this (re sharing a takeaway)

I do this subconsciously but it's a way of making sure the portions are fair. Not just fair for me, fair for who I'm sharing with.

But... I am also an only child with increasingly worsening OCD.

And if you got 5 bits of meat and he got 6?

I do this. Even if I get an Indian for just myself. I usually make it last for 2 days and divide it equally (count the chicken pieces). If I'm sharing with my partner, I woll divide it equally. I won't do it outloud and I don't mind if he has more. But if I do it, It will be equal.

I do this because I’m a greedy bitch and my instincts say eat it all

Don't see the problem, whenever me and my partner have something like a Chinese or a curry we share out the main parts (i.e. meat) equally first then add everything else.

I can’t eat an awful lot, so always give my partner more than I would have but he gets so offended and starts spooning more onto my plate, but he’ll only end up eating in anyway because I’m too full 😂

Micromanaged. Get TWO takeaways. It’s worth it to avoid this insulting, controlling behavior. It really doesn’t matter WHY he does it, it’s unacceptable. How are you supposed to enjoy your meal while being food policed?

mmmmm... we used to count out the pieces of chicken when we shared our curry.

Think of it like this: if you discovered your partner had taken half of what was in the tub but "happened" to have 9 pieces of chicken and left you with 2, wouldn't you be slightly miffed?

Unless he is neurodivergent and it would cause him anxiety for it not to be fair … it’s weird !

@TheyGrewUp my mum always calculated things like roast potatoes at so many per person. It was second nature to cast a quick eye over the dish to work out roughly how many there were so you knew not to take too many at the start. She usually did 4 per person, so we usually started with 3 and went back for second helpings. I always had to make sure that boyfriends / husbands / children were aware. I do the same, except I allow 6 per person plus a couple spare, and there are usually a few left over.

This is why I don’t share food 🤢

Well - if I was sharing a dish with my DH I would make sure we got equal amounts, unless I wanted less. It's only fair isn't it? To be frank, I don't know why you wouldn't. Unless of course it's something with little bits of meat in it and then I would do it by eye. Chicken curry - usually has around 6 biggish bits of chicken, so 3 each unless one of us wants less.
Chicken fried rice - little bits so do it by eye.

As it is we usually order different meat dishes and share the sides - and even then I pick out any peppers because I like them and he doesn't. Same with water chestnuts.

One of you divides the portion, the other chooses which one to take.

I find locally Indian takeaways have lots of sauce and a limited number of big pieces of meat so yes I do count them when serving myself to make sure there's a reasonable amount left with the rest of the sauce for a second portion.

This behaviour could be stingy or could be deeply practical - watch and see if stinginess appears elsewhere.

I would be more concerned about him being tight in general than with the takeaway issue specifically.

I wouldn't be that meticulous myself but it wouldn't bother me if someone else was.

The best way to ensure fair splitting between two with minimal fuss is for one person to split and the other to pick their portion.

I was on a tour of China, 14 people, every lunch & dinner was around a circular table with a Lazy Susan.
One female used to count the bits of meat etc & say " that's 21, so 2 each for the men & 1 for the women ".
She did get told to shut up eventually.

I do similar, to make sure we all get a reasonable amount and nobody is left with just sauce and rice 🍚.
I give husband more ( don’t have a go at me about “ penis portions “ 🤣)
He is a foot taller than me , he should be consuming more calories .
However , I’m the cook here so sometimes give myself the nice crispy bits , cooke prerogative

My mother's rule for me and my brother was that one of us got to pour or divide things up, but whoever didn't do the dividing got first choice of which one they wanted.

You've never seen things divided so equally! 😂

Wouldn’t bother me at all.

Tbf I probably get the better half of a chicken chow mein when we get Chinese, seems to be extra chicken on top and I'll dish up first because DP seems to wander off and take his time to dish up and eat (where as ive been in typical mum mode for 20+ years and seem to rush my food before someone starts screaming 🤦🏻‍♀️) I'll take the best bits of that but the rest of the food i have less of and some of the food I wont eat so it evens itself out. To be that anal over pieces of chicken and to make sure each dish is shared out evenly is way over the top though.

Has he got his eye on your bhuna? Nope. DON'T SHARE!

Why would you inflict him on a child?

A man whom you have to argue with to contribute towards his own child?

What an awful start in life.

Go back to work.
Protect yourself.
He is not a good man, just a mean one.

You and your poor child deserve better than this.

Get the kitchen scales out. More accurate.

We will have to disagree.