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AIBU?

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Asked to MC retiring boss's party after being passed over for her role

159 replies

Idealist3 · 04/06/2026 18:53

My boss is retiring and I've been asked to MC her retirement event. The problem is that I recently went for her job and didn't get it.
I've worked in this community-sector organisation for nearly 20 years. I was always the one who stayed late, came in early, took on extra projects, wrote blogs, covered events, etc. A lot of people, both inside and outside the organisation, assumed I'd eventually succeed her. I didn't. I only got one interview and wasn't shortlisted further. My boss later said she would have given me a second interview, but the board decided otherwise.
Since then, my confidence has taken a huge knock. There's also uncertainty about a secondment opportunity I was hoping for, and I can't help feeling I've become less valued since not getting the role.
I'm 51, spent years working part-time while raising my children, and now find myself questioning my whole career. I feel embarrassed and exposed having to stand up and celebrate my boss's retirement when I'm still disappointed about what happened.
Part of me thinks I should just do it professionally and not let anyone down. Another part of me feels worn out and would rather attend as a guest or not go at all.
AIBU for not wanting to MC the event?

OP posts:
WutheringTights · 04/06/2026 18:59

Do you mean make her goodbye speech> if so, I think it’s more appropriate if chair of the board does it.

JustGiveMeReason · 04/06/2026 18:58

YANBU.

I wouldn't 'make an excuse'. I'd be clear that I wasn't doing it as I'd realised I wasn't valued by the employer as much as I thought I had been. I would suggest (as above) this should be a role for your )retiring) boss's boss.

HoppityBun · 04/06/2026 18:58

I voted YANBU but I would also suggest that if you’re MC-ing, it’s about your boss, not the job you didn’t get. I don’t think you’d enjoy it as just a guest and you might even feel more self conscious that way. If you like your boss and she’s always been fair to you, then I’d do it.

PullTheBricksDown · 04/06/2026 18:58

What a shame you have other commitments that day. You'll come at some point to honour your former boss of course but you won't be able to take on hosting.

Motnight · 04/06/2026 18:58

MimiSunshine · 04/06/2026 18:57

Absolutely not. I’d make an excuse and suggest it’s actually better if your bosses boss does it.

Totally agree.

whistlesandbells · 04/06/2026 18:57

Do you like your boss, do you feel they did enough to suppprt you? Do you understand or agree with the reasons they went with someone else? This would make a difference to my decision to MC.

MimiSunshine · 04/06/2026 18:57

Absolutely not. I’d make an excuse and suggest it’s actually better if your bosses boss does it.

Theunamedcat · 04/06/2026 18:56

Naaa you have a life thing to attend and will be late to the appointment

ellyoctober · 04/06/2026 18:55

What is MC?

Whatever it turns out to be, any effort required of you after what you've gone through seems arrantly duff.