Asked to MC retiring boss's party after being passed over for her role

I would 100% say no to this. It might not be your bosses fault that you didn’t get the job but they are not entitled to you bloody being the MC for their leaving do 🙄 I was asked to do something similar at a previous organisation and almost laughed when they asked me…it was a polite but firm no.

Also, why the fuck does a leaving do need an MC, and why the hell do those organising it think it should be up to you anyway? Let them sort it.

Just say no- I will be there enjoying the event but it is not something I would feel comfortable doing. Those higher up can do it, let them work it out amongst themselves. No need for excuses.

I would tell your boss you are too upset about what has happened to be able to do it. Start looking for a new role and ask her to be a referee.

No need for this. It’s sounds bitter and unprofessional. Saying no is fine but don’t have to be childish about it

Say no -by all means attend but it’s fair to say you don’t have the capacity to prepare adequately and besides that’s the Chair’s job at that level of seniority. Your boss was the CEO. She has more power in appointing her successor than she’s letting on. If she really wanted you to have that post you’d have at least got a second interview. You know now you have gone as far as you’re going to go in that organisation and it’s time to step into a CEO role in your sector, so start looking.

Yes, there's nothing 'supportive' about requiring someone to plaster on a smile and run an event for the retirement of someone whose job she wanted and didn't get, especially with everyone there saying 'Oh. there's X trying to look like she doesn't mind.'

We can't know what is going on inside the boss's head, so I guess OP can only do whatever feels better to her (probably giving it a miss.)

But that's not supportive. The boss wants @Idealist3 to perform nicely at her function when she has to know how bad she feels about not getting the job. It's more like a fuck you and how you feel about being passed over, perform for me.

Take mom up on her offer, that's the support OP needs right now. A few days of R & R, mom support, and time to think about the future.

It sounds like you're far too efficient and reliable in your role to be promoted. I'd express heartfelt apologies to the boss you like and be on leave on the day for ... anything you can think of. Or possibly go sick on the day and drop the fuckers in it.

YANBU if you say no. From your first post it sounds as if the organisation has massively taken you for granted over the years. This request sounds like just another example of that.

Maybe, but she seems really sorry that OP has been passed over and this may be all she can think of to support her.

Bloody hell that’s awful. Is he okay now?

I learned a long time ago you are never valued for extra work, going above and beyond, you get a head if your face fits, that’s it.

Cab you get another job? But say no to the MC thing, say you’re clearly not the person to be doing it given your junior level, and start working the hours you’re contracted for

I haven’t read every post but my husband had a similar experience about 5 years ago . Was acting up for a manager who had left for two years applied for the job was offered it in the proviso that the CEO have a chat with him first. She actually said she didn’t agree with him being appointed and literally threatened him with if you know what’s good for you you’ll withdraw your application.
the reason I’m saying this is that it has almost destroyed him because he’s an older man in a senior role in a niche occupation. He kept this to himself was excluded from many things and eventually had a breakdown and was admitted to a psychiatric ward for treatment.
im not saying this is what will happen to you but now hes talking about it he’s expressing many of the same feelings as you. Humiliation embarrassment anger etc.
buty all those feelings is detrimental to you. Try and be calm and truthful say you are feeling disappointed and that under the circumstances someone else would be better to do this.
look after yourself please .

Then she's so lacking in tact it's laughable.

I think that your organisation have poor form expecting you to do this after they turned you down for her role
Let your boses boss organise and do MC for the leaving do. I am sure that other staff know that you did not get this role. I am sure that people will tell you about your bosses leaving do and who said what and when at this.

I would go away on holidays with your mother around then say for 2 or 3 day's. I would then meet up with some agencies and see what's available with your current experience during your few days off. Get your details up on linked in or any other relevant site for jobs in your field.

I would chat to your current boss and tell them that your mother has booked a holiday for you both and that unfortunately you won't be at her leaving do. However you like to meet up for a meal when you come back to celebrate her retirement.

Once you come back from holidays it no more doing extra hours, sorting out problems or training up your new boss either.
Just do the job your paid for, be pleasant to your new boss and keep quite about the fact that your looking for another role. Be ready to do an extra course or training as soon possible if it helps you get a new job also. If your doing this you have time to do all the extra hours ect that you did in the past.

Maybe there is a better job with more money out there for you. Your next boss could look good on paper. They could talk the talk but not be able to walk the walk. I would not be training them up in there new role either. Let there boss step up and do this or organise this.

@Idealist3 if your boss had any part in you not getting the role, I’d say I don’t blame you. But her leaving do is about her and not this other stuff? So if you’ve valued her as a boss etc, I’d want to do it to celebrate her, if you can. It also gives you the moral high ground.

I completely understand you might not feel able to though!

Absolutely agree with this. Too many of us have had this sort of shit pulled on us or
we know someone who has had this happen to them. You are absolutely entitled to be pissed off. Absolutely don’t do it. Go on holidays and enjoy yourself. Don’t be made to feel that you need to be “nice” about it or need to “be the bigger person “. Fuck that

But I think OP said she had asked for her

The ex-boss won't have been the one asking. No one asks someone who got passed over for her job to take on the extra work of MCing her retirement do, and also no one organises their own retirement party!

I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't even make an excuse and would also stop being as dedicated and start to look for another job. I was in a similar situation (also in my 50s at the time) and it was the push I needed. I ended up with a much better and more enjoyable job. I also have stronger boundries and don't routinely and constantly go above and beyond.

Nah I wouldn't do it, the organisation gets no favours or going above and beyond any more. You can wish her well privately.

Do it OP. This is not your boss's fault and by asking for your support she's showing the others how much she values you and giving you a chance to shine.

That person is an external hire, so won't know the retiring person at all. Which is obviously no reason why the OP should do it, and I think she shouldn't, but it's not her problem to decide who does.