AIBU to think a birthday scratch card win was harmless fun?

I think somebody should send her help right away.

When I was a kid my parents placed a bet from each of us on the grand national each year, I generally picked based on the colour of the jockeys clothes, I have by some miracle avoided becoming a hardened gambler…..

Are you ok? Seriously, are you in need of help? How have you reached out to refer to vibrators and rape of a child when someone has purchased a scratch card?

A scratched card is gambling, a tombola at a school fete is a version of this, a 2p machine at the arcade is a version of this, the claw machines are a version of this.

Vibrators and rape, totally different thing.

Why are you sure of the last part?

Another tired response. I'm not actually opposed to the o.p giving the scratchcard tbh, just fed up with such obvious and thoughtless replies

I wouldn’t even consider buying a child, or indeed anyone, a scratch card as a present. It is giving a weird message that gambling is entertainment and some kind of present to yourself. I just think it’s a very odd thing to do and I think it gives out a strange, negative, dubious message.

Such a tired response. No the grown woman is probably not jealous and is actually concerned about her friend's very early teen.

Not every disagreement is due to jealousy...come on

I should imagine the mum 'is' over 18 if her daughter is 13 🤷🏼‍♀️ The daughter didn’t buy the ticket herself, her mother simply gifted it.

Of course it's okay! Ignore the po faces! I'm sure you'll emphasize the obvious point that gambling rarely pays off & that this is a lucky aberration. She should enjoy the money!

Came on to say exactly this 👍

Haha that reminds me of when I went to a school fair and tried to win a goldfish. My teacher (who didn't like me) was running it so I wouldn't totally put it past him to rig it or maybe I'm just so unlucky. Anyway I spent so much of my mum's money just trying to win a goldfish that in the end the teacher just gave me it!

As someone who has lived with a gambler, someone who was very high up in their profession and always on a good salary, what I would like to add, I would be worried about the message this gives out to your child.

Gambling is highly addictive and those early wins can be very destructive. The message that it is 'harmless' is worrying. The reality is that most people do not win big, but keep chasing those early small wins. When they loose, addicts will throw more at it to 'win back'. Gambling really destroys lives on so many levels. I think we have all been waiting to be served in local shops and seen people trade in small scratch cards wins for more cards hoping to win big?

I am very 'live and let live', but the psychology of gambling and 'chasing the win' is a real thing. At the moment your DC has basically learnt for a pound or 2 they can get £100. That is just luck, so you really need to reinforce that. At their age and level of maturity I would be very worried about how you manage this. I am not saying this is your child, but for some people, a win like this is not 'a lucky windfall' but an opening to trying to chase bigger wins.

You can avoid drinking and smoking all your life though. I think what OP did is fine for the vast majority of kids but if you do have one that ends up having an addictive personality it could potentially be a problem.

Well, your friend was right, it is gambling. I don't think her reaction was over the top - I wouldn't allow a child to bet on horses either, as I don't think it is 'harmless fun'. If you're happy to lose the money (which you generally are, if you're throwing it away on a scratchy), it would be more useful to teach your child how to invest.

As to whether a scratch card would lead to gambling on something else, it depends on the personality. I can see why people who have gamblers in the family would be strongly averse to all forms of gambling (I'm not saying this is why your friend objects to them, but it may be a possibility).

OMG so much pearl clutching! A scratchcard it just a bit of fun if handled the right way. Brilliant that she won £100 - what fun! If you’d rushed out to spend the winnings on more scratch cards then I’d be concerned…
My kids (20 and 17) both have some premium bonds - I bought them each £100 when they were born and a relative just bought them a few hundred more each. One of them won £1000 last year and there was no expectation for them to share it - it’s just the luck of the draw, a life lesson.

All these people saying she is "too young to gamble" she isnt gambling!

She was given a gift that may, or may not, lead to her getting some money and she got some money. You could argue that the OP wasnt gambling either as she knew when she paid for the card that she wasnt getting her money back!

Both my kids, who are now 17 and 20,have been given Xmas scratch card in their Christmas Eve bags for years now. Neither are gambling addicted young adults 😂

This.

Your friend is being ridiculous, as are many posters on here. Brilliant that she won!

Of course 13 is far too young to gamble!

To my mind it is not leading them to gambling, but towards life where enjoyment of little bits of joy is everything. Gambling to destruction is an addiction. We used to take ours horse racing maybe a couple of times in a few years. We gave them the lowest stake for each race, one of them one 4 out of 5 races, the other won 1 or 2 races but the odds were higher. Neither of them gamble regularly, only when at the races, or for the Darby or Grand National.

Too young, sorry. Fab present for an 18th though. These things can be addictive. It's really not a good time to start introducing them.

The rules are here - scratchcard-winners.co.uk/player-guides/buy-scratchcard-age/

The difference is you don't lose your stake on premium bonds.
(General financial advice re. premium bonds is the return is low)

It’s called life
life isn’t fair
they will learn about resilience and that they can’t all be winners
bet you buy your non birthday child a present in their siblings birthday just because you don’t want them to feel left out
you will do your children no favours