AIBU to object after he assumed he and his daughter would move in?

"I thought I'd moved in"? Cheeky bastard!

He was the one who stated that her house is bigger than his.

At least you know his intentions so can now stop any moving in by stealth

Bet he tries “we have to move out of our rental and I can’t find anything else can we just stay for a month or two until I get something sorted”

And you will end up having to evict him and be responsible for his belongings for a month.

DUMP!

Wow! He called you selfish?!?? He is the one being selfish! I'd tell him that too, and that he sounds like a cocklodger and he has shown his true colours. I'd be inclined to tell him you are considering calling time on the relationship now he has shown his true colours.

What a cheeky entitled twat.

Please dump him.

The MRAs would get hysterical. They are already upset about the Facebook groups where you can ask if anyone else is dating the same man as you or exchanging information about abusive men.

Apparently it is very abusive towards the men in question when women warn other women about them. It makes it more difficult for them to find another victim, the poor diddums.

The cheek! How dare you refuse his very generous offer to move himself and his kid into your house. Let him have a strop...all the way back to his own home. I hope he's now your Ex.

I reckon he's the sort to only break up if he had another woman to move on to (and move in with)
I think if he was unable to find that, he would likely be the sort to make himself comfortable in OPs house and avoid breaking up even if the relationship was miserable. After all if he lost the relationship, he'd have to go back to being financially responsible for himself and parenting his daughter alone. I think if op threatened to break up with him when he'd move in there would be an awful lot of 'so you're going to make me and my daughter homeless, she moved schools for you, how could you do this to us!?' etc

I would think after 18 months you'd have discussed what your future looks like but you've clearly dodged a dodgy one- I can't believe the things he's said, calling you selfish and what about his daughter etc! She's his responsibility not yours!

He's an aspirant cocklodger and OP has most definitely dodged a bullet, but I'm another one who is flummoxed that this hasn't come up sooner. I've been seeing someone for three months, so much less time than the OP and CL, and we had this conversation within a couple of weeks. I won't blend families, which means I won't cohabit while either of us has children living at home, and he never wants to remarry. Both completely reasonable deal-breakers which we have made clear upfront so that we don't waste anyone's time.

Wow, what a cheeky fucker! Not only does he have the nerve to think they'll be moving in with you without discussion, but then gets in a strop and calls you selfish when it doesn't look like things are going to go his way?!

Its probably a discussion that should have happened earlier in the day, but people can't just assume things! I'd also be questioning his motives. If he'd got the wrong end of the stick and been really embarrassed about it, that would have been different, but his reaction speaks volumes, I think.

Novice cocklodger (failed)

Also - whats the bet that after living together in your house for 2 years he'd break up with you and try and claim half your house? (obviously you'd protect yourself legally before he moved in but I bet he's the sort that would try . . . )

so he expects to move in 6-8 years time? No “I will start saving for a mortage so we can buy a house together?” 😂🥴 Op he’s clearly after your house & money. If anything happened to my DH and I was left living alone, I would do the same thing your doing. You gotta protect yourself from cocklodgers these days, seems there’s more & more of them popping up!

No you are completely correct. I wouldn’t date anyone with dc because I have my own and there seems to be an unwritten narrative that women need to look after men and their dc. It’s sad because I don’t think I can live with anyone for this reason. However I think I’m happier for it. Your home and life why would you make it more complicated for yourself. He sounds like he is with you for the wrong reasons - money. I have a partner I just don’t want to live with him.

What a twunt

True. But this is usually partnered with discussions first about where they’re going to live, would op move nearer child’s school, jointly rent or buy, etc, not for dp to unilaterally decide that him and his daughter was going to move in with op. Had he been apologetic, and backtracked, saying that that was what he was hoping they were working towards, it would have been different, but instead he got in a huff.

YANBU!! Woah, he sounds like he had a whole plan by now! What a cheecky f-er!

I dated a guy for a year and he asked for a key to let himself in as we were going out seperately, we werent living together, next day i asked for key back and he said oh i thought id moved in!!! I ended relationship and said you havnt even asked to move in or ask to marry you, he then asked me to marry him 4 times and i said no!!!

@ChaToilLeam I love the expression 'amateur cocklodger'.

We could have Professional Cocklodger
Apprentice Cocklodger, Veteran Cocklodger.

Why does his daughter live with him why doesnt she live with her mum, why doesnt he have a mortgage,

🤣 Oh for goodness sake. There I was earlier in the week extolling the virtues of coconut oil, and here I am - a slippery premature poster.

At least you know his end game. He's probably wondering what is wrong!

As a single Mum who's children have 'flown the nest'... No fucking way am I parenting another through hormones or even entertaining a man who assumes he's moving in.

Never.

I don’t think a year and a half is that long, especially when you are older and have kids involved. A lot of people would not even think about introducing a new partner to their child until many months or a year of dating, to protect everyone’s feelings. Also why the rush, unlike when you’re younger and you have life goals such as buying a house together and starting a family. Later life relationships can be much more slow and relaxed, and as many posters have said, there are benefits to living apart, assuming you can afford it.

How refreshing to read a thread where the @Trombolice