AIBU to object after he assumed he and his daughter would move in?

I agree with others who think there is no future in this relationship. This man strongly resents the fact that you are wealthier than him. He will keep chipping away at you in an attempt to get his hands on your assets, plotting and scheming to find a way in. Fortunately he doesn't have the discipline to keep his mouth shut and hide his true intentions, this should mean that he has fallen at the first hurdle.
My experience is that men cannot accept being out done by a woman in any way shape or form.

I’m surprised people think like this. Thay after 18 months it’s reasonable to make that assumption with no conversation at all on it.

im also struggling with this posters view the op is at fault for not telling him that, rather than he is at fault for making an assumption without discussing it.

especially since their is a child involved.

for clarity no you don’t assume if you’ve been with someone 18 months you will live together, nor do you assume you and your kid can move into their house. You need to discuss it.

really shocked adults don’t know this.

I would broke with him if I were you because you want to live on your own and he wants to live with you and his daughter.
I would break with you if I were him because I would be looking forward to live with a partner that doesn't want to live with me and my daughter.
I don't see the point to carry on with a relationship where the goals of the people involved are completely different either way and regardless if he is a CF or madly in love with you.

I mean, obviously there should have been a conversation before assuming he'd be moving in with you, but it is not fundamentally unreasonable if you're in a long term relationship to assume you will eventually want to live together. Is he specifically upset because you've told him he can't move in with you or because you've basically told him you have no intention of progressing the relationship beyond the dating stage? If moving in together is never on the cards for you that's something you should have been upfront to him about, so it seems like there's been a failure to have an important discussion on both sides.

Same. 25 years happily married but no way would I share a house with a man if he weren’t around anymore. I can 100% see how lovely it would be to be in a loving companionship where you each have your own place to retreat to. Moving in together only really seems to have financial benefits in the cost sharing. But if you can afford to live alone then that seems preferable. I realise not everyone feels the same though and like constant company. Not me.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5513388-aibu-to-think-blended-family-life-is-draining-us-all?page=1

The poor love ended up with 4 threads ... she is an absolute legend!

War rug - Wikipedia https://share.google/HTrCBGBLlgJfS60Lj

I had never heard of these. How many people have collections of them? Nobody I know.

I think all the comments were about this specific bloke not renrers generally. Nobody has suggested all renters are just waiting to take over a house someone else owns.

This would have me questioning the entire relationship OP, although sounds like he's stropped off anyway now that he knows he can't lodge his cock (and child) at yours!

I'm happily married, been with my DH for 30 years but honestly if for any reason I ever find myself single I know in my heart and soul I would never live with a man again. Go with your gut on this!

Is there a link to this delight? X

Which is why you have the conversation. It’s perfectly OK to want the benefits of living apart, but it’s unusual that the relevant information didn’t already come out.

Oh wow a cocklodger in real time. Men never cease to have the audacity.

@BauhausOfEliott yes maybe

but as a parent of a 12 year old you don’t tell the 12 year old about the big house they are moving into without clearing it with the owner first surely?

and 18 months is nothing if there are dependents involved

surely if you had an about to enter teenage dependent and your partner was complete in their child rearing you would assume that they wouldn’t want you and your teenager moving in?

regardless he knows now, @Trombolice is really selfish in his mind, and perhaps the nice free paid for house was his end goal and now that’s not happening he’s a bit miffed

Of course he shouldn't have assumed he was going to be moving in with you! That's ridiculous on his part.

However, it's probably a bit unusual that you hadn't made it clear at any point during an eighteen-month relationship that you didn't ever see the relationship being any different from the way it is now. I think most adults would have had a bit of a chat about where they see things going. If I was dating with no intention of ever having a partner live with me again, I think I'd certainly have made sure much earlier on that I was dating people who were on the same page.

So, obviously YANBU to object, that goes without saying. But I also think you should have been a bit clearer from the start that you didn't ever want to live with him at all (regardless of what house it was in).

This was my exact reaction to the article too!

Perhaps you could sing to him that his outburst has caused you to be ‘freed from desire… with your nonsense I’m petrified’ @Trombolice

Ha ha ha

My lover's got no money he's, got his @Trombolice

His assumptions are far fetched considering (I’m guessing) you had not had this conversation before. But I also think it’s natural to think about the progression of your relationship.

Now is the time you need to sit with him about what you are wanting and what he is wanting. If you don’t want to live with anyone but still have a partner, but he wants a partner he lives with, maybe it is time to end things.

I don't think anyone has made generalisations about people who rent
There has been comments about men specifically who see a woman with a house they own as an opportunity to cocklodge or try to make a claim on that asset. Which does happen, not that infrequently
So if you're not a man who chooses his partner based on her assets and how they could work for him and you're not trying to muscle you're way in to their home or expect them.to help raise your child without asking if theyd be comfortable with becoming a step parent, then don't worry, no-one is talking about you

I have a close friend who has been with her partner for more than 20 years and they don’t live together. Never have and probably never will but they love each other , do lots together etc

What an absolute CFing CoKLodger!

Unbelievable! -laugh emoji sooooooo badly needed here?😂
& Doesnt his DD have a living mother????

So you've never spoke about moving in together yet you are the selfish one?

Sorry this would give me the ick and that would be it.

These men are so predictable. He's already mentally moving him and his DD in, you'd be doing all his childcare whilst he goes to football/gym after work and a cook and cleaner to boot. Any objection to the above and you are selfish and not valuing him. You see this all the time on the step board.

It's like you're not quite capable of understanding the general point I'm making about people who rent - not this specific bloke - and the opinions on this thread about them.