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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to object after he assumed he and his daughter would move in?

389 replies

Trombolice · 04/06/2026 15:17

Name changed for this.

Been seeing someone for around a year and a half. This morning he casually dropped it into conversation that his daughter might have to move schools when they move. I asked where he was moving to and he said “I mean when we move in together?”

I said “who said anything about moving in together??” So he said “well not now obviously but at some point we will surely?” So I said “and where are you assuming we’ll live?”

Long story short he had it in his head that he and his daughter would be moving in to my house. His rationale is that I have “so much more space” and much more space than I need and it’s selfish to not want to share it.

I said I have no intention of having anyone live with me! He’s now gone off on a major strop saying I have too many unused bedrooms and it’s “unfair” etc

I think he has got his daughter believing they will be moving in to my house too. They live in a two bedroom house.

AIBU??

OP posts:
Gateappreciation · 04/06/2026 16:06

JLou08 · 04/06/2026 15:54

It sounds like this has been blown out of proportion. There's nothing strange about thinking you will end up living with someone you're in a serious relationship with, or the assumption that you would move in to the bigger house or buy another one together rather than move into the small house.

But surely you discuss it first, and not assume it’s a fair accompli.

Overwhelmedandtired · 04/06/2026 16:06

Assuming you would live with someone you've been seeing for 1 1/2 years isn't in itself odd, but assuming him and his daughter would move in with you without any prior discussion is a bit out of place.

Have you both had any discussions about where your relationship is going? Is there a wealth divide between you? It sounds like your property is bigger than his, do you both own? Have you discussed marriage?

Horses7 · 04/06/2026 16:04

🚩🚩🚩🚩

Gateappreciation · 04/06/2026 16:03

JLou08 · 04/06/2026 15:54

It sounds like this has been blown out of proportion. There's nothing strange about thinking you will end up living with someone you're in a serious relationship with, or the assumption that you would move in to the bigger house or buy another one together rather than move into the small house.

But dp has assumed this, and implies its sooner than later, to the point that he’s even thinking about schools for his daughter, and possibly informed his daughter of this as well, all without talking to op. It doesn’t even sound like they’ve had the ‘long term future’ talk yet, and mapped out a life together. As far as op is concerned, they’re still at the dating stage.

Stoicandhappy · 04/06/2026 16:03

Cocklodger in Waiting

purplecorkheart · 04/06/2026 16:02

I remember a post here a year or so ago about another woman in this exact situation - I wonder if it is the same man? I bet the next thing that will happen is that he will claim his landlord is kicking him out and he and his daughter move in as a 'short-term measure'. Then it will be excuse after excuse not to leave. Oh and he will more than likely take up some hobby as he will have a free babysitter to hand.

Honestly from what you said I would dump him.

BrownBookshelf · 04/06/2026 16:02

Lmnop22 · 04/06/2026 15:21

You don’t have to move anyone into your house if you don’t want to so YANBU.

However, I don’t really blame him for thinking that it might be a natural progression of your relationship if you’ve never told him it’s not what you want. Provided, of course, he was paying his fair share and the legalities were ironed out to protect your interests….

Mmm but he's gone a bit beyond that! One thing to assume it was moving towards cohabiting, quite another to call OP selfish!

Shufflebumnessie · 04/06/2026 16:01

In his head he's created a nice easy life for himself. He'll move in to your house because it's bigger and nicer. You'll continue to pay the rent/mortgage & all upkeep because it's your house, not his. He might offer to pay a menial amount of rent but probably not as you should just be so grateful you're now cohabiting with his pure awesomeness! Once he's in, in his head you'll take the lead with all the practical/mundane side of parenting such as washing, meals etc. He'll have free /low cost accommodation with on-hand help and be there for all the fun stuff with his daughter.
Run for the hills!!!

HopeIsAScaryThing · 04/06/2026 16:00

How did he take it when you dumped him over his entitlement? You did dump him, right? Right?!

ThejoyofNC · 04/06/2026 15:55

Well that's a whole new level of presumptuous.

ShodAndShadySenators · 04/06/2026 15:54

He's also revealing that in fact he's bit dim with no idea how to broach this without blundering in with all his assumptions, then actually flouncing like a teenager whilst blurting out how he feels about your having a better house than him.

So attractive! (You can do better than this guy I'm sure...)

JLou08 · 04/06/2026 15:54

It sounds like this has been blown out of proportion. There's nothing strange about thinking you will end up living with someone you're in a serious relationship with, or the assumption that you would move in to the bigger house or buy another one together rather than move into the small house.

Dorothyperky · 04/06/2026 15:53

Definitely targeted romance. Happened to my sister and my bff. Both divorced. My bff didn't own the house and she got replaced when he found out!

TeflonBoot · 04/06/2026 15:53

Like previous posters, I'm getting cocklodger vibes

diddl · 04/06/2026 15:52

I mean it's not unreasonable to think that you might move in together at some point.

Or that it would be to yours if it would be suitable & convenient.
(Maybe not if his daughter would need to move schools).

But this is hilarious much more space than I need and it’s selfish to not want to share it.for everyone.

ThreadGuardDog · 04/06/2026 15:51

Trombolice · 04/06/2026 15:17

Name changed for this.

Been seeing someone for around a year and a half. This morning he casually dropped it into conversation that his daughter might have to move schools when they move. I asked where he was moving to and he said “I mean when we move in together?”

I said “who said anything about moving in together??” So he said “well not now obviously but at some point we will surely?” So I said “and where are you assuming we’ll live?”

Long story short he had it in his head that he and his daughter would be moving in to my house. His rationale is that I have “so much more space” and much more space than I need and it’s selfish to not want to share it.

I said I have no intention of having anyone live with me! He’s now gone off on a major strop saying I have too many unused bedrooms and it’s “unfair” etc

I think he has got his daughter believing they will be moving in to my house too. They live in a two bedroom house.

AIBU??

OP how old is his daughter ? Have you ever heard the term nanny with a fanny ?

YouputthetwatinKathleen · 04/06/2026 15:50

I'd be wondering if he got together with me for my big lovely house with too much space, my money I greedily hoard for myself, and all that time I selfishly spend on myself when I could be someone else's nanny and housekeeper.

Hills are that way, @Trombolice >>>>> RUN!

ThreadGuardDog · 04/06/2026 15:50

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/06/2026 15:46

Except the husband in that case agreed with the OP that the daughter was completely unreasonable.

Show quote history

And egged on by a CF boyfriend who was in ‘finance’ !!

Hangingcrystal · 04/06/2026 15:48

Well at least you know his plan for you and your home.

Cheap housing and a skivvy aupair to do the grunt work.

Unless you are desperate for a man, like most women who entertain guys like this tend to be, rethink this relationship.

His entitlement is most distasteful as is his belief you owe him housing🙄.

Major ick.

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/06/2026 15:46

Shinyandnew1 · 04/06/2026 15:34

You could end up like the poster on another thread in a few years, where his daughter will be ringing you with her new boyfriend demanding that your house is left to her as her inheritance when her dad dies so she can boot you out into the street!

Except the husband in that case agreed with the OP that the daughter was completely unreasonable.

OttersOnAPlane · 04/06/2026 15:45

Sod that for a game of soldiers! Kick this one to the kerb, OP. He's a user

Larrythecatforpm · 04/06/2026 15:45

God, next he will expect you to be a live in babysitter. Get rid of this one.

Knittedfairies2 · 04/06/2026 15:45

The one good thing about this is that he let you know his plan/assumption well before he'd got his bags packed. Kick him to the kerb - and beyond,

gamerchick · 04/06/2026 15:43

I'd be wondering what's going on with His own house here, does he rent? Alarm bells if he is. They could end up on your doorstep anyway.

2Point4Cats · 04/06/2026 15:43

Another freeloading cunt