AIBU to think my DH is overreacting about my eating habits?

From his perspective, he's probably been worried sick wondering what health issues are causing you to gain an extreme amount of weight eating broadly the same diet as him. Now he's confronted with the secret eating, he'll be worried about your physical and mental health and how you've allowed yourself to risk your life and leave your child without a mother for the sake of the food detailed in those receipts.
You must prioritise yourself and get to your GP, you deserve a healthy life, and if you can't do it for you then tell yourself your child needs a healthy mother.

I think this is all very simple and lots of people on this thread have complicated it.

You have an eating disorder.

Your specific disorder is related to secret eating. So when you haven't told your DH about all this, in the past, it wasn't deceit or lying. The secrecy was part of the disorder.

I think contacting BEAT is an excellent idea, and ask if they have some counselling that your DH can be involved in too, at least at the beginning. As I see it, you have three bits to this problem

1. Your eating disorder and weight
2. Your DH's distress and feeling betrayed
3. Financial matters.

I think you are seeing #2 as the most urgent at the moment, and I think I would too. If he understands the complexity of your disorder, quite a lot of this should vanish. So do address #1 with him, through a mix of self-education, working with BEAT, and counselling. Hopefully your family finances are reasonable, and I suspect that in any case the amount you will save by not spending on secret snacking will pay for most, if not all, of the remedies.

Good luck, from a retired mental health professional who has her own food demons!

Three years ago I lost 4 stones on Mounjaro but put two back on over the course of a year (I had to stop as I couldn't afford to keep paying for it). I'm now on a clinical trial and the relief that food noise has gone again is hard to explain, as well as not having the worry of finding the money to pay for the medication.

@LPLJS95 it is what it is. So many of us have done exactly the same. A drinks can holds an awful lot of sweet wrappers. GLP's are literal life savers. I've been very lucky - on both medications the only side effect I had was that food noise was gone.

I applied for the clinical trial because you also get to see dieticians and I'd decided that even if I ended up on a placebo it would help me to be supported by clinical staff. I know a few people still on Mounjaro who are losing by calorie counting and not making the mistake of just stopping eating (as many people do). I'm on 1500 calories a day and it's difficult to fit them all in. I'm physically eating so much more than when I'd call into Greggs for a sausage roll, pasty and a cake to eat in the car.

There are ways through this, you just have to take the first step. Feel free to message me if you want to ask anything. Wishing you all the best in your weight loss journey.

Potentially you? Try doing some research rather than what the drug companies want you to … the ones you pay!

Better than inhaling toxic poison. Pretty sure the two aren’t comparable. Lots of alternatives to lose weight.

Ok … good luck, ten years time they’ll be telling us it causes cancer.

Clearly they aren’t using it for weight loss … they have a condition 🙄

You sound like an addiction tbh.

Maybe seek out hypnosis. It might be more effective quickly than counselling.

If my DH was repeatedly saying he’s no idea why he’s putting on weight and that he doesn’t eat fast food, whilst secretly bingeing on it, id be both upset at the deceit and worried for his mental health. It would affect me a lot and if he minimised my feelings and said I overreacted I’d be even more upset and worried. In fact if he refused to get help with his disordered eating it would jeopardise our relationship. You need to listen to him and you need to seek help.

Yes, you are right. There's always one on these threads and its too stupid to engagi with- I am going to follow your advice.

I have had and still have disordered eating so I sympathise with you about the secret eating. I have just sat here and inhaled a packet of malted milks and chocolate, albeit next to my husband. I’m sure I’ll hate myself for it later, despite being a low/normal bmi. I get eating issues, but I’m also not surprised at your husband’s reaction and I would feel the same if my husband doubled in weight, knowing all the while, the cause. I hope this situation now helps you look into some help to overcome this.

Who, me lot?

What lot?

Honestly everyone Just ignore and it will stop.

How do you feel about smokers using nicotine patches to try to quit?

@CunningLinguist2 honestly the heavy lifting was done by Mounjaro, and then having the headspace to think calmly about what I wanted without feeling hopeless, helpless, despairing about my weight. I think that probably anyone who Mounjaro/Wegovy works effectively for would get the same result.

Just ignore it.

You’re quite tedious. just do you? We each do what’s best for us and our health. I’ve cut all sorts of risks on WLI. I feel amazing, am healthy, good BMi and longterm blood sugar.
I also ‘pump’ my forehead full of botox - because it’s my body, self-worth, choice & prerogative.
Judge away - it’ll have zero impact on my life. My decisions however have had and have. AHUGE impact on my health.

Op, how long have you been married please, doubling your weight is a really shocking statistic, 2.5 years ago you were nearly 15 stone, yoire now nearly 20, that’s a huge amount of weight in a short period of time. Nearly 5 stone gain in 2 and a half years.

And you need to keep eating more to gain weight, as the bigger you are, the more cals you need jist to maintain, which means it’s continually escalating past the maintance point.

where are you going with this, you’re killing youself with food. At whay point will you stop, your health,your mobility, must all be impacted now.

and you don’t seem overly bothered. More bothered you have told him and he’s on your case.

I'll explain that to my diabetic friends! No doubt they'll be grateful for your explanation.

Also, aside from the deceit, this is not a sign of a healthy relationship with food. Eating in secret is a sign of eating disorders. What kind of example is this for your kids? You can, as you said , eat what you like but this sounds like a very defensive reaction. And it must cost a lot! Perhaps you need to look at the reasons for this behaviour and address them before things become more serious and really affect your relationship/kids/physical
and mental health further.

I can respond … not starting new comments, that’s you lot.

I absolutely get where you are coming from - I used to use every outing/passing of convenience food as a legitimate reason to stop and buy and eat it. And I put on a lot of weight because of that.

Eventually I was concerned about my size and started logging calories, and all those perfectly-normal-to-me stops in the drive by lanes showed up as more than half my calories. The odd McDonald’s and Costa coffee and Greggs yum yum (cheaper in a pack of two …) stack up so quick in calories.

So I get where you are and have been for a few years.

From your DH’s perspective, he has probably been wondering why you’ve put on weight despite eating sensibly. He may have been concerned. You’ve obviously talked about not knowing why you have put on weight. Now he knows exactly why you’ve put on weight and can’t believe you didn’t know all along. Which is understandable unless you’re the type of person who plans what food can be collected on all journeys and thinks it’s normal to pick food up just because you’re in the right place at the right time. Your DH doesn’t have that relationship with food and so can’t fathom where you’re coming from.

Boring as it sounds, calorie counting is what taught me the “cost” of convenience food and picking food up because I was passing. Once I knew my “sensible” daily calorie amount, there was just no room for all the convenience foods.

11 stone!!!!! That’s fantastic! Well done you!!! WLI is not lazy at all - taking steps to improve your helath is fantastic either which way you do it!
I lost 4 stone - 2 on my own over 8 months. The other 2 with WLI. Keeps my prediabetes at bay (totally reversed).
don’t care if anyone thinks it’s cheating or lazy. I did it for me. I am healthy now, for ME & my family, but me first and foremost. Other people’s opinion can fuck right off.