AIBU to think my DH is overreacting about my eating habits?

What poppycock. Calling it ‘that crap’ is a bold substitute for understanding how it actually works. Do you have that level of understanding? The empty vessel level confidence of people who know absolutely nothing about GLPs on MN never ceases to amaze me.

Morbid obesity dramatically increases the risk of serious illness and premature death, but somehow the real concern is a medication, studied in millions of patients over decades. The science on GLPs keeps expanding. Just this week, the Guardian reported a study that that states they may reduce the breast cancer risk by about 30%.

The science on morbid obesity has been known for decades and it’s not open to interpretation.

Imagine being angry that we are lucky enough to have a life-changing medication helps people lose weight, lowers their risk of cardiovascular problems and cancer, improves metabolic health, and may have benefits in several other conditions.

The OP has an enormous hill to climb. It’s not easy to eat less and move more when you’re incredibly obese with a mental health issue related to secret gorging. Why not encourage her to get her life, health and future back on track via a proven method?

@Happysummerrain I think it’s easy to understand why the OP may regret telling her DH the whole truth about the overeating given the negative reaction which is what she would have feared when deciding to eat in secret and hide the wrappers. That’s not to say that it’s the right course of action to continue to deny there’s an issue when there very clearly is. It may not seem like it now @LPLJS95 but having this confrontation with your DH could be the start of a much better year for you.

And that helps the OP how? 🙄

@BuildbyNumbere oh my goodness. I paid for the medication, so no cost to the NHS if that’s what’s bothering you. I’m saving them money.

Why didn’t I do what in the first place? Exercise or lose weight or both? I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about this but losing weight consistently by being in a calorie deficit long term is extremely difficult to manage. Very few people can do it on their own. And, even if I could have done it on my own, why on earth should I have when there’s a medication designed to help me achieve the necessary weight loss??

That kind of eating is not a sign of happiness.
Address the real issue(s) and make small and manageable changes. As healthy habits grow, build on your successes. Don't reward yourself with cheat foods. That's like an addict rewarding herself with alcohol etc. Don't be ashamed OP, but don't kid yourself either. Take aways, convenience foods, pop etc screw up your taste buds, brain hunger/satiety signals and gut health. Some people are more susceptible than others.

Are you actually on drugs? The illegal kind … your posts do not make any sense.

I know, it’s just the irony of mentioning honesty was surprising after so much dishonesty.

Haha so they say … you are putting something unnatural in your body as an easy fix and making drug companies rich, you think they aren’t going to tell you it’s ok and there are no long term effects … give it time. But you keep pumping it in … God forbid you diet and exercise, like people have been doing for decades!

You can.

Where are you getting this from?

Are you a flat earther too?

I think you’ve got massively disordered eating. You need to recognise there’s an issue first. Also, you must be spending an absolute fortune on junk food.

I say this as someone who had the same issue. I managed to get to BMI 31.5 (14st 4lbs) by doing the same. I had PND and young kids who didn’t sleep well, no help and ate for comfort.

I hit a wall one day when I ran upstairs and I was out of breath!! Totally ridiculous situation that I’d created myself. Also, my knees had started to hurt. I can’t imagine what a BMI of nearly 50 is doing to your body.

I lost weight through willpower and diet to get to BMI 28 (12st 11lbs) then got a private prescription for mounjaro, which has been amazing. Totally transformed my relationship with food and I’m lifting weights 4 times a week to build/maintain muscle. I’m now down to BMI 22.6 (10st 4lbs) in 5 months on mounjaro and my skin has shrunk back thankfully. My plan is to get to BMI 20.6 (9st 6lbs) and keep microdosing the medication in future to avoid the “food noise” that was so destructive.

Hope you’re able to find a plan that works for you.

Of course they do, they have been used for decades now.

You are posting utter rubbish here. Ignorant rubbish.

Why? Why not actually read up on it rather than making a fool of yourself like this?

What? 🤣🤣
You can’t take it forever anyway.

They have no idea what the long term effects are … it hasn’t been around long enough. It doesn’t exercise your body, improve fitness or wellbeing or make you stronger … it’s an easy fix, look how many people have jumped on it since it came out!

So why didn’t you do that in the first place? And who paid for the drugs?

Then don’t stop taking it.

After all, dying of sepsis at 35 is all-natural.

Hi OP.

Having read all your posts now I think your DH's was perfectly justified, but I think you know this deep down. I would be very disappointed if I found out my DH was hiding something like this from me; it's lying by omission.

You do obviously have an eating disorder, and the fact that you eat in secret and hide the wrappers suggests you are aware of this. There are often deep seated psychological reasons behind this. What was your relationship with food like growing up?

Please use this as a wake up call; book an appointment with your GP and ask to referred to a weight loss programme. You will feel so much happier and healthier once you start to tackle this head on.

@Happysummerrain that comment refers to when the Op was confronted about the wrappers in the car, when she then told him about the secret car eating. She’s not suggesting that she’s been honest about her eating prior to this confrontation.

The medication has been licensed for weight loss. There are many mediations that were originally developed for treating one thing and were then found to be effective for another; do you object to all of those too?
The side effects are clearly listed in the literature. Why would people have no idea of the side effects? It’s all there.

“wish I'd never been as honest with him as I was” but you weren’t honest. It’s odd to pretend to have no idea how you’ve gained weight. Our unhealthy choices affect those around us. Also it costs a lot of money and that is his business too. I’ll assume money isn’t an issue but even so it all adds up and could have been used on a holiday. When you’re in the wrong the internet won’t tell you otherwise unfortunately.

I used to be a terrible secret eater OP, and it would often be a binge. It's taken me years to break the cycle, I was 19 stone and am now 14 stone with 3 more to lose. I'd say I've been losing for 3 years? So it's very gradual. I can't tell you how much better I feel for it, but you need to deal with what's in your head making you run to food to cope with life. I'd try to find a counsellor who deals with binge eating, and go from there (not the WLI route as you're not dealing with the root cause and starvation helps no one). You've made a huge step today posting this so well done.

Saying this as someone who also suffers from disordered eating (which is what this is without a doubt), he has a point.

I can’t say more than what people have said, the lying and the cost of multiple secret meals and the concern of watching a loved one danger their health is not something your husband is at all unreasonable about. I believer that you are emotionally and physically addicted to this junk eating though and you are now at rock bottom and need to change. Eating this way is binging even if you don’t throw up and it is an eating disorder. You can get out of it though. Unpopular thought I’m sure… but if your secret eating was to the level as you said of multiple drive in etc a day, you could absolutely afford Mounjaro jabs to help you with the food cravings your clearly have. You will get a lot of people telling you that willpower is enough but you are in a place where it isn’t and a suppression of appetite might help. I had a big period of anxiety and depression after 2 babies and them covid lockdowns and I went from 11 to 16 stone, I couldn’t do anything I wanted to do, I loved hiking before, couldn’t handle it without ankle pain. Mounjaro last year really got me out of my pit of apathy and depression and I am so so so much happier.

@LPLJS95 i hear you and have done the same myself! Only realised how often it was when I’ve stopped going out so much, but would regularly nip to a takeaway before coming home, park up to eat and then bin the wrapping and eat a meal at home, buy multipack chocolate with the shopping and eat most of it in the car

hopefully you can try to explain to DH and deal with the underlying issues - never easy but this might be the thing that you needed to make better healthy choices x

Perfectly said