AIBU to suggest Wisley as a halfway meeting point with DD?

You have no idea why. But I'd have thought the strained relationship, health issues, and lack of funds might be clues. You could equally say that the daughter is "disgusting" because she hasn't brought her kids to their grandmother, given that she is the young, fit, healthy one.

I've read all her replies and there's nothing wrong with them. She repeatedly says that she has a health issue that makes her tired and that she can't afford a hotel trip to her daughter's area.

Ignore the OP-kickers, OP. They're on every thread.

I'm sorry that you have health issues that make you tired. I think you're right not to do long drives, in that case.

National Express coaches can be very cheap, cheaper than the train. Is it an option for you to get a coach to a suitable meeting point?

Wisley is a great place to go for all ages. I regularly go with my parents and kids. However 2+ hours with young kids (over 4 hours in one day) is too much to ask. I think you need a better location.

Assume you mean RHS Wisley. It's beautiful there.

But you need to be more accommodating. If she says no to Wisley, find somewhere else.

Any public transport that can take you half way to somewhere suitable? Or if you’re set on Wisley, this is available to Wisley itself: Public bus: No. 462 and 463 bus services (hourly) from Woking and Guildford, seven days a week, public bus: No. 714 bus service (hourly) from Kingston, Monday to Saturday

You should be disgusted with yourself for not making the effort to meet your grand child for FOUR YEARS!!! 4 years you couldn’t be bothered and now you want a relationship with them. Disgusting.

Your poor daughter! If how you've behaved on this thread is any reflection on what's been happening with your daughter then I can see the problem. ITS YOU!!

Do your daughter a favour and let her get on with life with her kids and tell your son unfortunately you seem to be such a stubborn,annoying person that you won't change, so the relationship with your daughter won't improve and bow out of the wedding. The siblings can bond more over their problematic mother

How if you saw her a couple of months ago have you never met your grandchildren?

@Buzyizzy217 Hi Op, can you answer some of the questions you are being asked so we can make some constructive comments as so far you seem pretty entrenched in your viewpoint and why ask for opinions if you are not willing to answer questions that we help inform our answers.

We hear you have a limited income, and are unwell. You have OA but you are a cleaner so you can't be too physically unfit as the two don't mix. What I would like to know is how old you are and why you haven't met your grandchildren given their age. This is about more than time and money, both sides seems entrenched in their stance and we need to know why. I suspect your daughter needs to see effort on your behalf and is worried that if she travels with two young kids and it goes belly-up, she will struggle on the journey home with two tired kids

What the compromise is, is difficult to ascertain without more information.

@Buzyizzy217 I appreciate its outing but where is your DD suggesting that you meet? Can you get a train there? If driving is too fatiguing for you then you have to find another means.

Tell your DD that you can't drive and need to take the train and can she please come up with a location that is suitable for her and your grandchildren (DGC) that you can get a train to

I wondered this.

And if they can't be civil he'll have to choose who to invite.

OP’s complete refusal to do something as basic as click ‘quote’ when responding to people (despite it being explained to her multiple times) is leading me to believe she’s not a particularly reasonable person, or someone who is willing to take things on board.

@Buzyizzy217

Can we introduce you to the "quote" button. No one has a sodding clue what you're responding to!

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Use it!

If you can get to Wisley you can get to Legoland. Much better for the children.

Why do you need to go at all?

It doesn't sound like you want to go and it doesn't sound like she wants to meet up, so why can't you have a long distance relationship?

Meeting midway for lunch isn’t really that practical if it means a 2 hr + drive, you’re just too far apart. Both get train to somewhere more central - London?

Driving any distance with 2 small dc is hard work. You don’t want to drive far. Can you travel to her (by whatever means), stay over locally (Travellodge etc) and travel back the next day?

I hope you are able to rebuild your relationship, but please be sympathetic to your DD’s and DGC’s needs as well as your own.

Why are you refusing to use the ‘quote’ function, so that we know who you are responding to?

I actually think Wisley looks good for kids from the website (never been). Nice playground, lots of open space, my similar aged DC like looking at trees and flowers etc. If we were ever nearby I'd happily take my kids if it wasn't chucking it down.

I would guess the issue is not Wisley but rather the 2.5 hour drive with two very young kids.

Oh wow aren’t you the lovely lucky one. Some people’s families have nothing to do with them and it’s mutual. This OP is. Obviously trying to.

You live too far apart for a day meet up, young kids cannot be expected to sit in a car for five hours and nor can a tired mum be expected to drive them.

All your entrance fees to wisely would cover a cheap hotel room for you, it’s crazy expensive these days including tea, cake etc.

🥳🥳🥳

Well Op can flush this out by offering to make it easy for the DD and her young dc.

Until then, we'll never know.

But what makes you think it’s the DD who is being UR. I mean five hours in the car with two young children is a big ask, don’t you think? So a three hour meet up, and of an 8 hour day, 5 spent in the car? Which will be more than 5 hours in the car, as the 4 year old will no doubt need a wee stop (or 3!).