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AIBU?

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Original poster

to say I have just had enough ?

35 replies

lopit98 · 04/06/2026 08:08

I am 50, DC are 16 & 18 (SEN)
I have been for a run this morning, home 7am to this ...

the dishwasher is clean, full, waiting to be unloaded
the sink is piled high where both have been cooking in the night
both have been awake most of the night -their sleep patterns are terrible
I have unloaded the dishwasher, rinsed everything in the sink and re-loaded the dishwasher.
cleaned the surfaces
removed items from the dishwasher and washed by had as 18yo waiting to cook (he has eating disorder, so when he cooks/eats its a godsend)
18yo now having a meltdown as his cooking has messed up. he is also saying we are running out of his food (he is not able to go to the shop) and need ti buy more today. Except I cannot get to the shop due to work.
16yo needs a lift to school for exams
I am trying to WFH amongst all this

.. I am done in, totally done.

This is just 1 example of a typical day

.. DH is in bed

OP posts:
ConstanzeMozart · 04/06/2026 08:39

Why is DH in bed? Does he have a good reason e.g. working nights or ill?
I admit I know little about SEN, but are these household tasks beyond your kids at their ages? Why can't your DS go to a shop?

ChocoChocoLatte · 04/06/2026 08:33

depends if DH is in bed off the back of a nightshift or just indulging in a longer lie than OP……..

doitwithlove · 04/06/2026 08:24

The dh needs a rocket up his arse. Lazy git.

Brunchatstephanies · 04/06/2026 08:22

What is the SEN? 2 of my children have autism the youngest has level 2 so is pretty disabled by it.

My kids would be in real hot water if they left the house in that state.

They all do jobs cooking dinner, cleaning up after meals, putting away laundry, etc etc and have done since they were young. During Covid when they were quite young we all worked together to blitz the house from top to bottom everyone did their bit and learned all the household jobs. I think you need a version of that so they don’t take you further granted.

In your shoes I’d be reading them the riot act.

Errolwasahero · 04/06/2026 08:19

It’s so hard, caring for kids with SEN. Not many people understand. However, you DH should; as others have said, is there a valid reason for him to still be in bed?

And have you got a carer’s assessment?

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 04/06/2026 08:17

ticktickticktickBOOM · 04/06/2026 08:14

The DH in bed is your problem.

He needs to get his arse up and help things run smoothly.

Why is it a DH problem? Should he get up and clean up the boys mess so they can cook again?
yes He should probably be taking the 16 yo to school, but what was he doing last night? Working?

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 04/06/2026 08:15

MesLunettes · 04/06/2026 08:11

If one son was waiting to cook, he needed to empty the dishwasher and reload, or wash relevant items by hand, surely?

This, wanting to cook should also = wanting to clean up after yourself, if the mess is from them cooking in the night they can both clean up.
also if there is no food because he’s been cooking it in the night, does he not have to factor this in?

ticktickticktickBOOM · 04/06/2026 08:14

The DH in bed is your problem.

He needs to get his arse up and help things run smoothly.

PinkMagnoliaTree · 04/06/2026 08:11

Wow how stressful for you! What can they do for themselves? I'd focus on that and enforce it like a marine.

kids eh who'd have em

eta what's going on with the dad?

MesLunettes · 04/06/2026 08:11

If one son was waiting to cook, he needed to empty the dishwasher and reload, or wash relevant items by hand, surely?