AIBU to worry my 15-year-old son will stay short?

My husband is 5ft 7 and I am 5ft 9. He would have wished to be taller sure, and I always wished I hadn't had A cup boobs my whole life (I am not skinny just very flat. My belly has more to it than my chest). I totally get that these things matter a lot when you are young and dating. Even as an adult he gets the occasional short joke and he finds it tiring. But it hasn't held him back from a very fulfilling and rich life. There are times on cramped planes/ coaches I've even envied him a bit for his comfort. I fell in love with my husband for his many wonderful qualities, his kindness, his smile, his confidence and optimism, the way he went out of his way to help a stranger on one of our first dates. Your son will have a very fulfilling life too, no doubt with some knock backs dating, because women can fetishise height in the same way as men can fetishise big chests. But when he makes that connection I suspect it will be a deep meaningful one. Shorter men are significantly less likely to divorce :)

Indeed. People's heights are heavily determined by their sex. As a rough rule of thumb, you can take the difference between the dad's height and average male height, and the difference between the mum's height and average female height, then average those two figures. Both OP and her DH are about an inch shorter than average for their sex so their DS will be similar, give or take an inch or so to allow for recessive genes.

I understand op, my son would have loved to be taller. In my family I’m the shortest at 5ft4 but some of them are over 6ft so the ‘silly’ family members told him when he was little he’d be tall, so when he wasn’t it got to him.

I think in my family, we are now NC with these people, it is actually a thing .that we are looked down upon for being shorter :(((

Anyway he is in his 30s now and a similar height to your son. Reached that height at a similar age to your son.

So true. Zendaya is literally a queen and she’s chosen him when she could have anyone and she’s famous in her own right so it’s not even for the money or the fame. Just googled Tom Holland and he’s 5ft 8. Your lad will be fine.

Google The Mid-Parental Height Method (Genetic Potential) and try that for a rough idea

Don't worry!!!

DH was short till he was 14/15 and now he’s 5’11, but his parents are taller than you. 5’6 could well be as tall as he’s gonna get.

There’s nothing wrong with short men unless they’re whiney about it. I would work on the assumption he’s gonna be on the shorter side, work on his confidence, work hard in school, and be funny. Any additional height should be seen as a bonus.

5 ft 6 especially before fully grown is a normal height for a man, yes lower end of normal but still normal and not anything to worry about. It doesn't sound like he's anywhere near finished growing yet either so I'd be optimistic he might reach dad's height at least. You're overthinking this which is going to make him overthink it. He's never going to be 6 ft. He needs to work on accepting this and managing his own self-confidence.

FWIW I have a genetic condition which causes short stature. I was still 4 ft 8 when I started 6th form! I know lots of girls with my condition. Height was extremely important to us all as teens and we would compare notes. Now these girls I know are adults. The confident girls who are 4 ft 9 have had no trouble finding relationships and doing well socially and in school. Some of them who are nearer average height but have parents who have constantly panicked about every aspect of their life have grown into adults who severely lack confidence, struggle with relationships and constantly panic about their lives. Attitude is far more important than height trust me

I’d be concerned about the lack of puberty signs. I see that you took him to the GP already but I would ask the GP to monitor it ongoing.

As for the height thing most boys including my own have their biggest growth spurt after the start with the other visible puberty stuff. While I’m no expert I would definitely expect him to grow more after this occurs.

However I am sick of this obsession on social media and online dating about height that has filtered down to teen boys. It’s such a big thing to worry about amongst my son’s friends.

My husband was the shortest in his class as a teen. He told me that all the other boys where very developed physically in ALL aspects, while he still had a kid´s body. It affected his self esteem a lot. No facial hair etc. Then he suddenly developed and got to 5.8 when he was 17. I am 5.10.

This is nonsense. Children are not an average of their parents height.

Dad is 5ft 8, im 5ft 3.
Chances of him growing much taller are not high (scuse the pun).
I knew a 5ft7 boy in sixth form who wasn't even good-looking and had zero problems with women. I very much hope he is still shagging his way through life (if he wants to be).
ETA. BUT... Doesn't sound like he's finished with the whole puberty thing yet (I hate that word, it's the puuuuw) so could definitely do another 2 or 3 inches by 6th form.

He isn't even particularly short, OP.

Presumably you've looked at growth charts and percentiles for his age?

He's on around the 25th percentile so yes, below average but definitely not worryingly so.

His dad and you are both on the shorter side so that's to be expected with his genes. He'll probably reach his dad's height, he's not done growing yet.

We have a 15 yr old who would like to be “a bit” taller. He is 5”7 just on a good day

What can you say really? We’ve told him that his height is in his genes it’s more or less set (bar illness or malnutrition etc)
Ours keeps fit, so is athletic but not too overboard, he enjoys life, is confident, clever, has friends, basically lots of things going on what height he gets to is what height he gets to. He’s competitive in a balanced way and has accepted he won’t be as tall as his brother so is focussing on being taller than his dad (5”8) he passed me a while ago.

It’s a characteristic you can’t do much about, let his feelings about the possibility of being on the shorter side of average, which is possible, have some space and then focus him on the qualities he has control over.

Almost everyone wishes their bodies were impossibly different. Having a content life regardless is all anyone can do.

And if a girl wants a tall boy, over other qualities then she’s not the girl for him. Those girls are just being 15, 15 year olds are insane. Boys and girls alike judge and make ridiculous statements. (Being shorter hasn’t stopped our youngster having a great bunch of friends or lack of interest from the girls).

We just shrug when he mentions height, “it’s biology sweetheart just have to wait and see where you stop”

He will be fine whatever his final height.

Worrying isn’t going to change anything.

He might grow another inch or two but he’ll still be short.

Best thing you can do is help his self-confidence not to depend on his height or appearance.

5'6" at 15.5 with no facial hair and a dad who's 5'8"? I'd be putting money on more growth yet. Teenage boys are weird, some shoot up early, some suddenly appear six inches taller after one summer and everyone acts like it's normal.

It really doesn’t. Both you and your husband are short, it’s natural that your children will be short. He hasn’t finished puberty so will probably end up at least your husband’s height as his generation is generally taller.

He’ll probably be, like most young people, a bit self-absorbed and it’ll be a big deal to him until he matures at about 25. If it wasn’t height, it’d be weight or spots or thin legs or something else.

Just keep your own anxiety in line and don’t dwell on what you can’t change.

It's a difficult time for young average and below average height lads nowadays. There is just so much noise online about the supposed merits of being 6ft and over.

To be honest, it's very likely your son will be on the shorter side. I'm your height and my boys' dad is just a smidge taller than your boy's dad. None of them grown much since puberty and none have much in the way of facial hair (have it but not the have a 5 o'clock shadow at 3pm type). All but one in their 20s.

My tallest son is 5'8" -but doesn't give two hoots about his height, never has. He's got a long term girlfriend now (but didnt at all till he was 20). My youngest is the shortest at 5'6". He's very self conscious about it sadly. I tell him he spends too much time on social media listening to that "6ft+ or nothing" noise. (Mind you, he’s also had a lot of health challenges his entire life, which took its toll on his confidence.)

It’s highly unlikely your son will never meet someone who falls in love with him—it just probably won't happen at 15.. It's literally all about confidence. And more importantly and being a decent and kind man. And of course mixing social with women who aren't influenced by the online noise. (Tough thing for him now is girls his age are easily swayed by that stuff simply because they're young, just like he is currently buying into the 6ft myth.)

Truth is - once they've all waded through the self consciousness of teenage years - a good number of women don't see being under 6ft as a red flag and focus on personality and character - and the importance personal hygiene!

Growth hormones won't help, as you know - but apparently one of the reasons boys are taller nowadays being so many are obese as children!! (Weight affects growth hormones and obese children also grown taller than they would have been had they not been obese.)

My 15 yo DS is about 5'5". His Dad is 5'6" and I am 5'2" so our kids were never going to be tall. Height really isn't everything. In terms of being attractive to girls/women, there are plenty of us petite ones who don't need a giant. If he's a lovely guy, dresses well and has confidence, humour and empathy, he'll be fine. My DH keeps very fit and knows how to defend himself should he need to. He also pushes himself to be confident at work and socially so he doesn't seem shy or 'small'. Please don't pass on your negative associations with shortness to your son. He sounds lovely.

I'm sorry your son is feeling so down about this - I find this obsession with height SO ridiculous I can't even begin to describe it as it makes me so cross.

My OH is shorter than me and its never occurred to me that it makes any difference. I'm bloody 37 now and he makes me feel like a stupid teenager - I basically worship the ground he walks on.

Getting off track here but clearly the girls he's been interested in so far are incredibly shallow (that will be a maturity thing) but he will not struggle to get plenty of interest in future if he's a nice lad who will make them laugh.

All you can do is keep reassuring him

My gorgeous looking nephew is 5'8" He is married to a very attractive woman who resembles Kylie Minogue in looks shape & height. On a night out they look like a couple of film stars & can outshine their very tall contemporaries in a room. Also think about Tom Cruise & Dustin Hoffman who have no issue attracting beautiful comparatively tall women. I can understand very tall women wanting to date taller men. I can't understand women shorter or around the same height as a shorter man wanting to date men over 6' unless they want to feel physically dominated albeit shorter men can do that if muscled & well built if that's their thing.

Your son is very young OP. He may or may not grow an extra few inches. He needs to work on his confidence & stop worrying about height. Women wear high heels so I feel there is nothing wrong with a man adding a little to his height with a small shoe lift if it makes him feel better.

Next time he needs shoes or trainers get a pair with an extra chunky sole.

This should give him a boost of confidence.

OP my son was on the short size, I think he was the size of me (5’5) when he was about 15, no facial hair although he did have body hair, but it wasn’t a lot. He is 21 now, and is about 5’9 and is very hairy.

I do understand the anxiety he may be feeling (and you). My son was always worried about this when he was younger.

Haha it works! The average height of Chinese adults has hugely grown and studies have been done that link it to milk intake. Milk is the best thing for height. Their rate of lactose intolerance is decreased

I think it's become less fashionable/common to give your child glasses of milk everyday etc

He’s not finished growing yet and it sounds like he’ll be a late bloomer. I find kids often seem to grow over the summer, I do wonder if this is a throwback to times where they wouldn’t be enough food year round so they tend to have spurts during times of plenty.

I’d try and consider shelving this until the other side of summer.

Our son was only 5’6 at 16, with no signs of puberty whatsoever. I was worried and so was he (he was sometimes teased at school), so I had him referred to an endocrinologist.

He had various blood tests, and MRI, X-ray to check bone plates and physical examinations. He was diagnosed with a constitutional delay of puberty and we were advised to simply wait and, as he was extremely skinny, get him to gain weight.

We were advised against testosterone therapy as it can affect height potential by causing bone plates to close.

Fast forward to today. Patience paid off. He is now almost 22, and 6’2 and a big burly, hairy bloke. A recent X-ray (not related, he’d been injured playing football) showed his bone plates are still open, so he’s not done growing.

In his case, slow and steady did win the race.