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Original poster

AIBU to feel angry about my husband's £1000 a month car?

330 replies

Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 19:42

My husband has bought a car that costs £1000 a month. He does earn a lot more and drives a lot so I get he wants to be comfortable. But I think cars are a waste of money.
I don’t know why I feel so angry.

We have our own money and pay half the bills,
but to me the money would be better spent on other things.
if I just met him on a date and he said he has a car that was £1000 month I wouldn’t see him again as it’s distasteful.
am I being irrational? I feel controlling saying he shouldn’t be spending that much.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 20:08

KnittyKnotty · 03/06/2026 20:07

Small penis?

Haaaaaaaaaa

OP posts:
Original poster
Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 20:08

SunnySunnyDayz · 03/06/2026 20:01

I guess this is why people have separate money. But, what happens in 30 years when you have 200k in savings and he has nothing? Do you retire early and travel the world on your own? Or do you fund him?

I don't think this ever works long term unless you have a similar level of sending.

He’ll have a large pension which I’ll either get if we divorce or retire together! So I do think he has the spare money then spend it. But I also would rather a mortgage was paid off or we got a new bathroom, but he doesn’t see that as priority!

OP posts:
RubyHiker · 03/06/2026 20:08

If it's his money then I couldn't be bothered. I'm sure my husband would think it's a waste if he saw what I spend on my hair and nails etc but he isn't paying for it so his opinion wouldn't factor in my choices

KnittyKnotty · 03/06/2026 20:07

Small penis?

Original poster
Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 20:06

coldspells · 03/06/2026 20:03

I would find it an intensely stupid waste of money.
But then we are wealthy and I just drive a little second hand Kia picanto and DH drives a very boring second hand golf. I guess everyone has different priorities

Yeah we are wealthy (not mega rich but don’t have to worry about food etc) , but the showing off of it I find distasteful.

OP posts:
AMurderofMurderingCrows · 03/06/2026 20:05

Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 19:50

Yeah the more I realise it’s fine if he’s spending money on himself, otherwise he’s tight. Getting fed up with it now.
its the whole Instagram, showey culture that I despise. I have a nice car but one that I bought out right and paid off a loan within the year. So now I have no car payments. It’s such a waste all that money on a piece of metal.

Show quote history

Do you think you're more annoyed about how inconsiderate and self-centred he is rather than the car itself?

Do you find yourself paying for things that the whole family can use (like your bathroom example) whereas he won't spend money unless it's on himself?

tripleginandtonic · 03/06/2026 20:05

Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 19:43

he sees spending money on a New bathroom as a waste. But the whole family can use that.

Hiw often is he in the car compared to the bathroom though?

Original poster
Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 20:05

MandemChickenShop · 03/06/2026 20:04

120k per year and 12k a year on a car. Nuts

Thanks! Thought I was going insane

OP posts:
Original poster
Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 20:04

Nearly50omg · 03/06/2026 20:02

He should be paying a % of the bills relative to his salary so if he earns 3 times more than you then his % is 3 times as much

Yeah pays more of the mortgage as I’ve already paid off most of it. Otherwise I’m smart with money and don’t need anything designer or expensive so live on less.

OP posts:
MandemChickenShop · 03/06/2026 20:04

120k per year and 12k a year on a car. Nuts

coldspells · 03/06/2026 20:03

I would find it an intensely stupid waste of money.
But then we are wealthy and I just drive a little second hand Kia picanto and DH drives a very boring second hand golf. I guess everyone has different priorities

Bjorkdidit · 03/06/2026 20:03

How come you're paying half the bills if he earns a lot more than you?

Do you have the money to spend £1k pm on something just for you?

Is there money in the household budget allocated for house maintenance, eg a new bathroom? Are you able to buy what food is needed? Why is he complaining about the cost of a punnet of strawberries?

I don't think you can just hand back a lease car during the contract without paying a penalty though.

Original poster
Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 20:03

grumpygrape · 03/06/2026 20:01

Well, if the agreed finances worked for you until now then it's a you problem if you didn't agree major purchases has to be discussed.
If you are starting to dislike his social media performance, do something about it.

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Yeah it the Instagram photos, gym every day, fancy car culture that he’s become now:
when I met him he was overweight and had a banger of a car.
maybe this car buying signals something more to me than the car islets

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · 03/06/2026 20:02

He should be paying a % of the bills relative to his salary so if he earns 3 times more than you then his % is 3 times as much

Original poster
Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 20:01

StephQ1 · 03/06/2026 19:58

Car allowances are really just part of salary. I earn 200k pa including car allowance and just about accept spending on average around 7k pa on a car. To be spending 1k per month I’d want to be on well over 250k.

If he’s a high earner and already puts 60k into his pension then I’d be less concerned as he’ll be well set in the future.

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He puts 40k into his pension a year. Think he earns about 120k I have no idea as we have our own money.

OP posts:
grumpygrape · 03/06/2026 20:01

Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 19:51

Haaa yeah, I get you, my parents were the same.
however, we both have children by other people so keep things separate (other than the huge deposit I put into the house which I have legally secured)

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Well, if the agreed finances worked for you until now then it's a you problem if you didn't agree major purchases has to be discussed.
If you are starting to dislike his social media performance, do something about it.

SunnySunnyDayz · 03/06/2026 20:01

I guess this is why people have separate money. But, what happens in 30 years when you have 200k in savings and he has nothing? Do you retire early and travel the world on your own? Or do you fund him?

I don't think this ever works long term unless you have a similar level of sending.

Original poster
Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 20:00

Ineffable23 · 03/06/2026 19:58

I am so out of touch I have no idea what sort of car you get for £1000 a month. My little Yaris will have cost me £250 per year in depreciation if I sold it now, so I just find all car payments astonishing.

Me too, my parents are millionaires but drive around in a 20 year old car. I think I’m just a bit tight with money maybe. Can’t spend it when I’m dead!
maybe I should leave it with the car thing and have my husband me happy.

OP posts:
TY78910 · 03/06/2026 19:59

What car costs £1000 a month! Is he driving a Ferrari or is it like a really short PCP? Or are you including insurance and fuel in that?

YANBU btw

Original poster
Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 19:59

kwikfitt · 03/06/2026 19:58

Yabu not to tell us what car it is!?

Don’t even know, it doesn’t even look expensive! Mercedes estate.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 03/06/2026 19:58

Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 19:52

No it’s his money and my money.
But I feel this large purchase should have been discussed!!

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YABU, you have separate finances so he can do what he wants and can afford with his

Ineffable23 · 03/06/2026 19:58

I am so out of touch I have no idea what sort of car you get for £1000 a month. My little Yaris will have cost me £250 per year in depreciation if I sold it now, so I just find all car payments astonishing.

StephQ1 · 03/06/2026 19:58

Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 19:55

He does have a large car allowance, but still wasted money in my mind. I think that’s what’s made me so mad. The status chasing thing you mentioned, it’s just not me, and it gives me the ick.

Show quote history

Car allowances are really just part of salary. I earn 200k pa including car allowance and just about accept spending on average around 7k pa on a car. To be spending 1k per month I’d want to be on well over 250k.

If he’s a high earner and already puts 60k into his pension then I’d be less concerned as he’ll be well set in the future.

kwikfitt · 03/06/2026 19:58

Yabu not to tell us what car it is!?

Original poster
Tunaturner · 03/06/2026 19:58

Lmnop22 · 03/06/2026 19:56

But it’s his money and he’s paying for it and can afford it so what’s the problem?

Yeah you think cars are a waste of money but I bet the you spend your money on things he probably thinks are a waste of money too because he’s not interested in them.

Doesn’t sound from your responses like you will be affected at all so I don’t get why you care!

If it doesn’t affect me then fine: I’m not sure why I have an issue. I feel very controlling. Maybe it’s because he has something nicer and I’m jealous. Trying to figure out my thoughts.

OP posts:
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