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Does marriage change anything?

115 replies

Jigglywigglypuff · 03/06/2026 17:15

What is it like to be married?

I have never been married and it makes me quite sad. I just feel almost like I have never been good enough to consider for marriage. Not one of my exes have ever seriously talked about it / suggested it. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to wear the big fancy dress and have a party and day dedicated to me and the imaginary love of my life, celebrating happiness.

Ultimately I am glad they never did, as they all ended badly, particularly the last one. But it got me thinking, what is so good about marriage anyway? Does anyone that is married feel that it changed anything for them, or that life is better in any sort of way because of the marriage? All the married people that I know, whom I have posed this question too, just say it's great or no different from any other relationship, but I feel people tend to be less honest in person about these sorts of things.

I know marriage has legal and financial benefits etc, but I'm talking purely about the emotional aspect.

I know of a few couples that married that definitely should not have, and cannot wait to see how that plays out. One divorce already!

So, did marriage change anything for you?

OP posts:
JeMapellePing · 03/06/2026 17:31

Marriage IS a legal and financial contract, often to enable the division of resources required to support a family.

The “lifelong emotional relationship” sometimes co-occurs, sometimes happens without marriage and often doesn’t happen at all.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 03/06/2026 17:31

People get for all different reasons.

For us we'd been together 8 years at the time and wanted to start a family.

3luckystars · 03/06/2026 17:29

Littlejellyuk · 03/06/2026 17:26

We were always a team, but when we got married it felt more official. It's nice to have someone who fights my corner and is my biggest cheerleader.. But he did that even before we married tbh. 💕

Lucky you.

Knowing what I know now I would not get into a legal contract with my husband as he is not in my corner at all.

Enko · 03/06/2026 17:27

It meant dh became my next of kin and his views aligned better than what those of my mother did should I ever be in a vegative state. I trust dh to do what he knoes my wishes are. My mother (who is now dead) woild have forced her (opposing to my) views.

muddyford · 03/06/2026 17:26

DH and I have been married for almost thirty years. It has made a firm foundation for our life together. Other people might not need that but we did.

Littlejellyuk · 03/06/2026 17:26

We were always a team, but when we got married it felt more official. It's nice to have someone who fights my corner and is my biggest cheerleader.. But he did that even before we married tbh. 💕

MrsMoastyToasty · 03/06/2026 17:25

If one of you earns below the income tax threshold you can pass your unused portion to your spouse. Can't do it if you just cohabit.

ComtesseDeSpair · 03/06/2026 17:25

It feels different, emotionally, somehow, though I can’t quite explain it. Though nothing tangible has changed. We married because we liked the idea rather than because of anything more “sensible” (both financially independent, similar incomes and assets, no children, wills and PoAs already in place etc) which we felt should be protected. I suppose it’s the aspect of knowing we both felt that we wanted to commit because we see this as a lifetime partnership and friendship which feels good.

CheddarBiscuit · 03/06/2026 17:24

CheddarBiscuit · 03/06/2026 17:22

The only reason to get married is for legal and financial benefits.

I don't mean to be rude or offensive to you personally but for far too long I think marriage had been conflated with being proof of love and commitment when it should be a level headed decision based on whether it is beneficial to you both to make a legal contract between eachother.

To clarify, if i could have signed a legal document in a solicitors office without
"getting married" I would have.

BakedBeeeen · 03/06/2026 17:24

Don’t get married if you think it will change things.

3luckystars · 03/06/2026 17:23

It makes you more stuck to them which can be good or bad news.

CheddarBiscuit · 03/06/2026 17:22

The only reason to get married is for legal and financial benefits.

I don't mean to be rude or offensive to you personally but for far too long I think marriage had been conflated with being proof of love and commitment when it should be a level headed decision based on whether it is beneficial to you both to make a legal contract between eachother.

TeaAndTattoos · 03/06/2026 17:22

I’ve been married nearly 7 years been with my DH nearly 9 years it’s changed absolutely nothing for me I would’ve stayed with him even if we hadn’t got married. Not going to lie there have been some really rocky moments but we’ve got through it all.

Jellyofftheplate · 03/06/2026 17:18

Zero different emotionally. We had two kids, and two houses. Easier to get married than sort out complicated wills.

Malasana · 03/06/2026 17:18

It makes it harder and more expensive to get rid of them 😂