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AIBU to think dismissal during probation was unfair given autism adjustments?

585 replies

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 15:37

I’m looking for honest views because I’m not sure whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this was genuinely unfair.

I was recently dismissed from a graduate/analyst role after my probation was extended. I am autistic, and my employer knew this. I had raised the need for clear written instructions, defined objectives, examples of similar work, timelines, and timely/direct feedback. Some support was put in place, including coaching, but I don’t feel the actual adjustments were properly embedded or reviewed before the decision was made.

The difficult part is that the concerns raised about me seemed mainly to focus on communication style, professional behaviour, asking for clarification, Teams messages, and quality assurance under pressure — rather than on whether I could actually do the analytical work. Some recent written feedback said my analytical skills were good, that my work did not contain relevant errors, that I was taking ownership, and that I sought support appropriately. Another person said I had picked up on a complex project well.

The project I was criticised on was not straightforward. I was a first-year graduate with no prior experience in that sector, and I was assigned open-ended/data-heavy modelling work with a lot of ambiguity and short deadlines. Some outputs were expected within hours or by the next day, so there was not much time for structured review. I also didn’t always get timely feedback while I could still act on it. Some feedback came months after the work had ended.
My probation extension was meant to allow support and coaching to take effect, but I was dismissed before the extension period had fully ended. I had submitted evidence of improvement the day before the decision, but I don’t feel it was properly discussed or considered.
The coaching report apparently said the benefit of coaching should be assessed after a longer period, because performance can dip while new strategies embed.

I’m appealing because I think they didn’t properly separate disability-related communication issues from actual capability, didn’t give recent improvement enough weight, and didn’t consider alternatives such as letting the extension run, providing clearer QA/communication frameworks, assigning more standard analyst work, or redeploying me to a more suitable team.

I’m not saying I was perfect. I know there were areas to improve. But I feel like I was assessed against unclear expectations, on complex work, without the timely feedback and structure that had already been identified as necessary for me.

AIBU to think this was unfair and potentially linked to disability discrimination/failure to make reasonable adjustments? Or is this just how probation works, and I should accept it and move on?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Taztoy · 07/06/2026 07:28

Owly11 · 07/06/2026 06:55

What? I really don't know what you are talking about. If you don't think it's good advice to tell op that she needs to learn what the rules of the workplace are and understand how she comes across to others, what do you think good advice is?

The op has revealed they are male.

Owly11 · 07/06/2026 06:55

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 21:28

You think that sort of thing is good helpful advice?? Really?? Have you always been like that?

Asif you care if OP gets sacked again. I think you'd enjoy it

What? I really don't know what you are talking about. If you don't think it's good advice to tell op that she needs to learn what the rules of the workplace are and understand how she comes across to others, what do you think good advice is?

Branleuse · 07/06/2026 00:44

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 00:02

He’s been sacked after committing misconduct. Getting a union involved is not going to get him his job back.

What might help him now is getting him to understand that he’s wasting his time trying for a professional career.

No that isn't what happened. Go back and check the OPs posts and that was not it.
Some people have said that it would be considered GM in some companies.
The OP was not sacked for gross misconduct. If it had been that, then apologising wouldn't have made any difference anyway.

If you just click to see all OPs posts, you'll see

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 00:08

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 05/06/2026 21:48

What do you expect the union to do? Say op can do what she wants with impunity?
whats “arbitrary” about expecting gdpr to be followed?

There seem to be a fair few posters from the public sector who have got used to the idea that the employer is working for the employee’s benefit, not the other way around.

This “get the union involved” cry when someone is let go after committing misconduct ought to be laughed out of the room.

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 00:02

Branleuse · 05/06/2026 13:05

You are acting as if she's bloody up skirting people or going round filming people for her channel.
She already has explained herself here several times. I understand that it's something that is a personal trigger for you. Is there any punishment for her at this point that would satisfy you?

He’s been sacked after committing misconduct. Getting a union involved is not going to get him his job back.

What might help him now is getting him to understand that he’s wasting his time trying for a professional career.

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 23:59

PissedOffAutistic · 06/06/2026 21:57

Why do you think it is NOT good helpful advice? Speaking as an autistic, it seems very useful helpful advice to me

Because it doesn't give anything constructive or helpful.

I get that you enjoyed the pile on, but you don't need to pretend to yourself that it was helpful

PissedOffAutistic · 06/06/2026 21:57

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 21:28

You think that sort of thing is good helpful advice?? Really?? Have you always been like that?

Asif you care if OP gets sacked again. I think you'd enjoy it

Why do you think it is NOT good helpful advice? Speaking as an autistic, it seems very useful helpful advice to me

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 06/06/2026 21:31

Organgrinder · 05/06/2026 08:15

This is not a professional environment and the OP is receiving quite a battering from a lot of posters, she's being understandably defensive and that's to be expected - it's a very normal way to react - maybe not the most productive way - but she has just had a major negative event happen in her life - she's been judged to be not fit to do her job, cut her some slack people!

If you want to help, see past the noise - if you want to sling more mud maybe you need some self - reflection and consider why you want to kick someone when they are down - it's horrible behaviour.

She was an absolute arse to me for no good reason and her post was deleted.

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 21:28

Owly11 · 06/06/2026 07:39

I mean you do summarise accurately albeit rather bluntly what actually is good advice for op. Op definitely needs to self reflect and change or she will always get fired because she seems to think she doesn't need to change. Why is that bad advice? What would your advice be? To keep pursuing the idea that the world needs to change around her and giving her more and more ideas of how to get the workplace to change? You can't change other people the only power you have is to change yourself and that applies to autistic people too. Yes there are things workplaces can do but there are also things autistic people can do. There are plenty of books and resources for autistic people on how to survive the workplace and op would do well to read some of them.

You think that sort of thing is good helpful advice?? Really?? Have you always been like that?

Asif you care if OP gets sacked again. I think you'd enjoy it

Magp13 · 06/06/2026 21:21

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 21:05

I expect they'll give her proper advice without an agenda and without being a cunt about it, unlike many people on here who really enjoy being anonymously put the boot in, or treating themselves to a cheeky little character assassination, dressed up as faux concern for a business.

This!

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 21:05

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 05/06/2026 21:48

What do you expect the union to do? Say op can do what she wants with impunity?
whats “arbitrary” about expecting gdpr to be followed?

I expect they'll give her proper advice without an agenda and without being a cunt about it, unlike many people on here who really enjoy being anonymously put the boot in, or treating themselves to a cheeky little character assassination, dressed up as faux concern for a business.

Greenandyellowday · 06/06/2026 20:06

Organgrinder · 05/06/2026 08:48

I'd say a few posters are over-invested and need to move on to the next pile on! But I guess we all read things differently and maybe it's time I followed my own advice - there's only so much of this "kindness and empathy" I can take.

Good idea. Jog on.

Greenandyellowday · 06/06/2026 20:01

JustJugglingCats · 05/06/2026 14:51

@SereneRoseRobin A few people have asked, but you seem to be avoiding the question, but it may help us to understand your mindset - Why did you not feel you had to / want to apologise for making the mistake of recording the meeting without letting the others in the meeting know? Sometimes, you just need to apologise, even when you don't think you should have to. And was there a reason you recorded it personally when you knew it was being recorded anyway, so you could have got the official copy to transcribe from?

As for us helping you to find another job, what is your degree in (sorry if I missed it)? What kind of work do you enjoy? Numerical? Literary? Do you like dealing face to face with customers or do you prefer being behind the scenes? What kind of level are you aiming for in the future as in base level? Managerial? CEO? I think you need something much more structured than consultancy, something you can learn and then, whilst not necessarily repetitive, has a strong similarity that is the basis for each piece of work. That way you can learn the structure and work from there without people having to use their time to hand-hold and double check you all the time. There is a job out there for you that you will enjoy and that you will be strong in. But you do need to realise, autistic or not, that nine months probabtion should be long enough to learn the ropes. And if it isn't, then it just isn't the right environment for you. And I would say that to anybody, ND or NT in the same position. Just because you want the job, doesn't mean it's the right one for you.

I think that's a kind and constructive answer. Hoping the OP will take your advice on board.

Owly11 · 06/06/2026 07:45

Dollysleftnip · 05/06/2026 18:27

That’s literal nonsense as well. The education system is not like a usual consumer to consumer relationship even though there is a cost involved.
If it was, I would just walk in and ask for the premium package where they give me my degree without me lifting a pen and pay them an extra 10 grand or something

Oh it actually is like that. How do you think education institutions survive. They need students, and staff come under intense pressure to get bums on seats and keep bums on seats. To get thrown off a course you have to do something absolutely dire. Students are very quick to go to complaints, legal action and the press and institutions want to avoid that at any price so they will allow all sorts of horrors to happen in order to preserve image and reputation. Of course you have to complete assignments but the leeway to do so late or badly is huge. Of course you have to attend classes but the absence policies are generous. None of this remotely reflects the workplace and doesn't prepare you for the workplace.

Owly11 · 06/06/2026 07:39

Branleuse · 05/06/2026 11:16

I think some posters here actually DO believe they're being helpful even when their 'advice' is basically
" urgh you are such an irritating cringey unprofessional person who clearly used AI to get your whole degree and you even asking for reasonable adjustments is so entitled! You should change your attitude and self reflect because you are going to get fired from every job you go for if you don't change.
Why are you not taking this advice. You just aren't professional. Stop being so defensive. I'm just trying to help "

I mean you do summarise accurately albeit rather bluntly what actually is good advice for op. Op definitely needs to self reflect and change or she will always get fired because she seems to think she doesn't need to change. Why is that bad advice? What would your advice be? To keep pursuing the idea that the world needs to change around her and giving her more and more ideas of how to get the workplace to change? You can't change other people the only power you have is to change yourself and that applies to autistic people too. Yes there are things workplaces can do but there are also things autistic people can do. There are plenty of books and resources for autistic people on how to survive the workplace and op would do well to read some of them.

Isitevensummer · 05/06/2026 23:13

Dollysleftnip · 05/06/2026 18:27

That’s literal nonsense as well. The education system is not like a usual consumer to consumer relationship even though there is a cost involved.
If it was, I would just walk in and ask for the premium package where they give me my degree without me lifting a pen and pay them an extra 10 grand or something

Its absolutely not nonsense. Yes, you have to work for a degree, but universities are definitely focused on getting people through if possible. Workplaces dont work the same way.

LIZS · 05/06/2026 21:57

I see op has started a thread about ACAS early conciliation process and appeal - clutching at straws at best, and clearly not taken feedback from this thread on board. I fear history will simply repeat itself in their next role.

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 05/06/2026 21:48

Branleuse · 05/06/2026 13:01

I have given my advice already.

Get the union involved.
It can be so difficult to navigate workplace politics and the unwritten arbitrary rules.
The cliques and hierarchies.
There needs to be support for people to keep their jobs as much as get jobs.
Union rep can be useful.

In my area 'Mind' have a workplace support service which can help support for a period and help with the barriers to staying in a placement. I wonder if that's a service in other areas too. Maybe gp could refer?

People need to work and not be written off or just told to "change attitude ", and there are definitely many aspects that people are saying here are a problem, which i think are a common issues in autism, so actually could be discrimination, especially if the company haven't followed guidelines properly.

What do you expect the union to do? Say op can do what she wants with impunity?
whats “arbitrary” about expecting gdpr to be followed?

bigboykitty · 05/06/2026 20:51

Branleuse · 05/06/2026 13:05

You are acting as if she's bloody up skirting people or going round filming people for her channel.
She already has explained herself here several times. I understand that it's something that is a personal trigger for you. Is there any punishment for her at this point that would satisfy you?

You seem to have zero understanding of the seriousness of this breach, though a number of posters have pointed this out.

Dollysleftnip · 05/06/2026 18:27

Greengagesnfennel · 05/06/2026 17:56

If you are used to reasonable adjustments at uni and your right to demand them you need to remember that at uni you were the customer. You were paying them.
It has probably given you a false idea of what reasonable adjustments are in the world of employment. It sounds like this role was just not a fit for you and your skill sets. I wouldn’t dwell on it or think it means you won’t be good in a different role. You are young -just move on.

Perhaps ask for some feedback on what areas you were best at and suggestions for what types of jobs to focus on for future roles.

That’s literal nonsense as well. The education system is not like a usual consumer to consumer relationship even though there is a cost involved.
If it was, I would just walk in and ask for the premium package where they give me my degree without me lifting a pen and pay them an extra 10 grand or something

Greengagesnfennel · 05/06/2026 17:56

If you are used to reasonable adjustments at uni and your right to demand them you need to remember that at uni you were the customer. You were paying them.
It has probably given you a false idea of what reasonable adjustments are in the world of employment. It sounds like this role was just not a fit for you and your skill sets. I wouldn’t dwell on it or think it means you won’t be good in a different role. You are young -just move on.

Perhaps ask for some feedback on what areas you were best at and suggestions for what types of jobs to focus on for future roles.

Isitevensummer · 05/06/2026 17:40

VaultandSinagain · 05/06/2026 17:34

Media. Lots of people, despite their good degrees from top universities, just aren’t up to it. We want to see both progress and quality in that probation time. They don’t have to have mastered the job at all.

Fuck! Makes perfect sense but ouch!

VaultandSinagain · 05/06/2026 17:34

Isitevensummer · 05/06/2026 17:30

Wow, that's brutal! Can you say the sector?

Media. Lots of people, despite their good degrees from top universities, just aren’t up to it. We want to see both progress and quality in that probation time. They don’t have to have mastered the job at all.

Isitevensummer · 05/06/2026 17:30

VaultandSinagain · 05/06/2026 17:09

No, it’s definitely a probation period in this case.

In the company I work for, a third of people fail the probation - after six months. It’s definitely not a formality. Everyone does have a degree, if not two, but it’s not a “grad training scheme”.

Edited

Wow, that's brutal! Can you say the sector?

JustGiveMeReason · 05/06/2026 17:29

OP says it was 6 months and then they extended it for her (which took it to 9)

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