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AIBU?

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AIBU to think dismissal during probation was unfair given autism adjustments?

585 replies

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 15:37

I’m looking for honest views because I’m not sure whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this was genuinely unfair.

I was recently dismissed from a graduate/analyst role after my probation was extended. I am autistic, and my employer knew this. I had raised the need for clear written instructions, defined objectives, examples of similar work, timelines, and timely/direct feedback. Some support was put in place, including coaching, but I don’t feel the actual adjustments were properly embedded or reviewed before the decision was made.

The difficult part is that the concerns raised about me seemed mainly to focus on communication style, professional behaviour, asking for clarification, Teams messages, and quality assurance under pressure — rather than on whether I could actually do the analytical work. Some recent written feedback said my analytical skills were good, that my work did not contain relevant errors, that I was taking ownership, and that I sought support appropriately. Another person said I had picked up on a complex project well.

The project I was criticised on was not straightforward. I was a first-year graduate with no prior experience in that sector, and I was assigned open-ended/data-heavy modelling work with a lot of ambiguity and short deadlines. Some outputs were expected within hours or by the next day, so there was not much time for structured review. I also didn’t always get timely feedback while I could still act on it. Some feedback came months after the work had ended.
My probation extension was meant to allow support and coaching to take effect, but I was dismissed before the extension period had fully ended. I had submitted evidence of improvement the day before the decision, but I don’t feel it was properly discussed or considered.
The coaching report apparently said the benefit of coaching should be assessed after a longer period, because performance can dip while new strategies embed.

I’m appealing because I think they didn’t properly separate disability-related communication issues from actual capability, didn’t give recent improvement enough weight, and didn’t consider alternatives such as letting the extension run, providing clearer QA/communication frameworks, assigning more standard analyst work, or redeploying me to a more suitable team.

I’m not saying I was perfect. I know there were areas to improve. But I feel like I was assessed against unclear expectations, on complex work, without the timely feedback and structure that had already been identified as necessary for me.

AIBU to think this was unfair and potentially linked to disability discrimination/failure to make reasonable adjustments? Or is this just how probation works, and I should accept it and move on?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
SurferRona · 03/06/2026 19:52

AirborneElephant · 03/06/2026 16:31

This is the issue with universities and schools bending over backwards with “adjustments “. In the real world the OPs expectations are wildly unrealistic. No-one in a fast passed team has the time for that level
of hand holding and coaching. “clear written instructions, defined objectives, examples of similar work, timelines, and timely/direct feedback” may exist in some idealised HR handbook, but I’ve certainly never seen it in any workplace🤣. I don’t think we’re doing young people any favours setting them up to expect their every challenge to be pandered to in this way.

It may be difficult for you to hear OP, but AirborneElephant is quite right in what they have said.

I simply would not be able to provide that degree of spoon feeding, especially in a fast paced busy team and frankly that degree of instruction would be resented (understandably) by others in the team and not deliverable by me across the diversity and range of tasks required. I’d be thinking it would be easier to do the task myself. I think the reasonableness of those adjustments may have tipped over into not that reasonable in practice.

It’s about finding the right tasks for you, I had a team member with ND who was great in routine, process led straightforward tasks, but anything ambiguous or starting from scratch often was a car crash. She flourished in a finance role, but that wasn’t what I needed! Probation is about fit- for the employer and for you. I also wonder if you are over reinforcing the importance of the positive feedback? I always try to find positive things to say to people even if I over inflate a bit to stop them getting despondent- could that have happened here?

Boreded · 03/06/2026 19:51

BombayMixIsTheBestMix · 03/06/2026 15:45

How many more threads are you going to start on the same topic? You need professional advice not to keep pestering the good people of mn when you had over 70 replies on your earlier thread and are apparently not satisfied still. This is like thread 4 or something.

This might be one of the reasons they didn’t want to keep her around. Constant messaging for approval.

@SereneRoseRobin there is a fine line between an adjustment ensuring you can do the role, and the role being almost different because of your requirements.

I have lost of neurospicy issues, some diagnosed and one not, but I taught myself how to be resilient, how to use the neurodiversion to my advantage and not as something people needed to pander to.

adjustments are wonderful, and fair, but there is only so far they can go. Ultimately you weren’t suitable for the job, and that’s ok, there are others. Learn from this and move on.

LIZS · 03/06/2026 19:49

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 19:46

i didnt argue. i jsut told her i wouldnt do it again and it was an honest mistake

How was it an honest mistake though, it goes against gdpr policies. What action did you take afterwards? What was your purpose in recording and transcribing it? Had you done so before?

Taztoy · 03/06/2026 19:49

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 19:46

i didnt argue. i jsut told her i wouldnt do it again and it was an honest mistake

You need to step back and learn from this.

when you start anywhere else, clarify policies and procedures.

im not going to blame you for typing and spelling, coz mine is shit on here, but in work, it’s pretty much perfect.

you need to lengthen your replies. If the length and tone of what you write here is indicative, that will be an issue in most workplaces.

you can’t use AI in most workplaces, and if you can it’ll be specific AI such as copilot only. You need to take that on board.

Bunnycat101 · 03/06/2026 19:49

i agree 100% with a previous poster that grads are entering the workplace with unrealistic expectations about the sorts of accommodations that can be made. Some roles just can’t be modified to suit everyone.

I was on the other side of this as a senior to a graduate with autism. He was brilliant at some tasks where he had a singular issue to look at and time and depth and I tried as much as possible during his placement with me to facilitate that. The problem was, the programme he was on expected competence across a range of skills including things like dealing with uncertainty, reactive work, stakeholder management and he was shit at all of those things. His actual line manager was tearing his hair out and he’d come off a placement with poor feedback. I really encouraged him to look at roles where he could play to his strengths and move sideways before he was kicked off the grad scheme.

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 19:46

Laura95167 · 03/06/2026 19:45

Then you didnt need to record it you would have had access to the official recording.

The fact it was being recorded anyway, doesnt mean its right or correct for you to have recorded it without consent. Then when its drawn to your attention that you did the wrong thing, instead of apologising you argued.

i didnt argue. i jsut told her i wouldnt do it again and it was an honest mistake

OP posts:
Laura95167 · 03/06/2026 19:45

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 18:59

It was a company-wide meeting that would be recorded anyway.

Then you didnt need to record it you would have had access to the official recording.

The fact it was being recorded anyway, doesnt mean its right or correct for you to have recorded it without consent. Then when its drawn to your attention that you did the wrong thing, instead of apologising you argued.

GameOfJones · 03/06/2026 19:45

RoseField1 · 03/06/2026 19:24

Quite the contrast to the AI written OP! Presumably she can't get away with using AI to produce her work for her

I went back and re-read the OP and you are completely correct.....it was definitely written by AI but I hadn't picked up on it on first reading, I'd missed the telltale hyphen.

OP, if your natural communication style is more like your replies to posters on here e.g blunt, evasive and with poor spelling then that's another reason why this hasn't worked out.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/06/2026 19:45

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 19:06

I dont need to answer you... u arent helping my situation.

That's why you failed your probation.

Fourlittlepiggies · 03/06/2026 19:41

FreeWillFever · 03/06/2026 19:24

I don’t want to seem harsh but there is a big difference between having reasonable adjustments and expecting to be spoon-fed. You are not helping yourself by trying to cling onto this job. Have some honest reflection about where your strengths lie and then look for a career which is a better fit with those.

Agreed. This is what makes leading teams so stressful!

VaultandSinagain · 03/06/2026 19:40

Dexternight · 03/06/2026 19:30

Nope. Not any job in finance.
Op cannot work in a team with all reasonable adjustments.

I suppose I meant more like data entry, spreadsheets, number crunching etc.

Taztoy · 03/06/2026 19:35

LIZS · 03/06/2026 19:32

In what way was recording and transcribing a meeting a “reasonable adjustment” in your opinion? Your decision not to inform everyone and seek consent was not related to your autism. What was the company policy for recording meetings?

Exactly this.

I have a reasonable adjustment that means im never video recorded at work.

but the op totally over rode that (potentially).

LIZS · 03/06/2026 19:32

In what way was recording and transcribing a meeting a “reasonable adjustment” in your opinion? Your decision not to inform everyone and seek consent was not related to your autism. What was the company policy for recording meetings?

Dexternight · 03/06/2026 19:30

VaultandSinagain · 03/06/2026 19:22

OP was dismissed from accountancy Big 4.
But I agree a lower-level finance job might suit.

Nope. Not any job in finance.
Op cannot work in a team with all reasonable adjustments.

Questi3nn · 03/06/2026 19:28

Op my HR team have just given us all an eductation on the changing employment righta coming into play next year
Theyve basically said if your not sure someone is a "fit" after 3 months let them go, before they hit 6m and have more rights.
Wither its right or wrong is another argument but you are in your probation they have let you go. In this case- from what youve shared- thats that!

Girlwithavibe · 03/06/2026 19:28

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 15:56

why do u think its a poor fit

If u was a good fit you wud have gained permanent employment it's that simple they obviously didn't think U was a good fit or terrible at the job or a job where it's being made difficult with your adjustments that's what probation periods are for to see if u fit the job and the company and it's that simple let it go and look for a different job your over analysing it tbh x

RampantIvy · 03/06/2026 19:26

AirborneElephant · 03/06/2026 16:31

This is the issue with universities and schools bending over backwards with “adjustments “. In the real world the OPs expectations are wildly unrealistic. No-one in a fast passed team has the time for that level
of hand holding and coaching. “clear written instructions, defined objectives, examples of similar work, timelines, and timely/direct feedback” may exist in some idealised HR handbook, but I’ve certainly never seen it in any workplace🤣. I don’t think we’re doing young people any favours setting them up to expect their every challenge to be pandered to in this way.

That's very harsh, but I think this is actually true of most workplaces.

FreeWillFever · 03/06/2026 19:24

I don’t want to seem harsh but there is a big difference between having reasonable adjustments and expecting to be spoon-fed. You are not helping yourself by trying to cling onto this job. Have some honest reflection about where your strengths lie and then look for a career which is a better fit with those.

RoseField1 · 03/06/2026 19:24

MesLunettes · 03/06/2026 16:01

Ah, I now recognise this poster from a previous incarnation, because this is how she always responds to posters on here -- blunt, uncapitalised, unpunctuated brief questions, without the slightest acknowledgement or thanks that people have taken the time to reply to her.

I can't remember her previous username, but she used to post about being let go from a Big 4 firm after she failed a set of (possibly accountancy) exams? And stuff about some male colleague who used to mentor her losing interest?

It's always aggrieved stuff about a workplace from which she's been let go.

Quite the contrast to the AI written OP! Presumably she can't get away with using AI to produce her work for her

VaultandSinagain · 03/06/2026 19:22

Mosaic123 · 03/06/2026 19:09

Have you considered accountancy instead?

It might be a better fit for your skills.

Put your energy into your future to see where you might be successful.

Edited

OP was dismissed from accountancy Big 4.
But I agree a lower-level finance job might suit.

Dollysleftnip · 03/06/2026 19:19

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 19:02

in the company's internal systems

There’s nothing to be gained by posting here.
Go and get advice from Accas and document everything whilst its fresh in your mind.

Taztoy · 03/06/2026 19:17

Magp13 · 03/06/2026 19:12

You aren’t either.

How am I not? Im autistic with adhd and I am blunt.

the op would be guilty if misconduct for recording without permission. If it was audio thats one thing, if it was video thats a whole other ballgame. I don’t allow any videos recorded of me. She had no right to do that.

if she used AI to transcribe, then there’s potentially sensitive company information being out in the ether.

adjustments have to reasonable and it seems to me that the op wasn’t a good fit for this company, and she wasn’t a good fit for the consultancy company before. She’s overselling her experience and she’s not learning from her roles - there’s more to doing a job than technical know how.

im crap at consulting because my autism means I can’t do the schmoozing side if it, so I don’t do that. But I also have 30+ years of experience under my belt.

Dollysleftnip · 03/06/2026 19:16

VaultandSinagain · 03/06/2026 19:08

The OP does not have a discrimination case. The company gave reasonable adjustments.

Thats for the tribunal to decide not you.

Dexternight · 03/06/2026 19:16

Mosaic123 · 03/06/2026 19:09

Have you considered accountancy instead?

It might be a better fit for your skills.

Put your energy into your future to see where you might be successful.

Edited

No it won't.

MyDogClive · 03/06/2026 19:15

You need to be able to do the job with reasonable adjustments. Unfortunately, I think what you asked for wasn’t reasonable or achievable for the company. Reasonable adjustments would be things like allowing you to wear headphones or work in a quiet space so that you can concentrate. It isn’t about the company changing their ways of working.

It sounds like it’s hit you hard, which is understandable, and I am sorry that the job ended. My advice would be to ask someone else to help you interpret any feedback you get in future jobs, to make sure you are taking on board what is being said to you.