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AIBU?

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AIBU to think dismissal during probation was unfair given autism adjustments?

585 replies

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 15:37

I’m looking for honest views because I’m not sure whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this was genuinely unfair.

I was recently dismissed from a graduate/analyst role after my probation was extended. I am autistic, and my employer knew this. I had raised the need for clear written instructions, defined objectives, examples of similar work, timelines, and timely/direct feedback. Some support was put in place, including coaching, but I don’t feel the actual adjustments were properly embedded or reviewed before the decision was made.

The difficult part is that the concerns raised about me seemed mainly to focus on communication style, professional behaviour, asking for clarification, Teams messages, and quality assurance under pressure — rather than on whether I could actually do the analytical work. Some recent written feedback said my analytical skills were good, that my work did not contain relevant errors, that I was taking ownership, and that I sought support appropriately. Another person said I had picked up on a complex project well.

The project I was criticised on was not straightforward. I was a first-year graduate with no prior experience in that sector, and I was assigned open-ended/data-heavy modelling work with a lot of ambiguity and short deadlines. Some outputs were expected within hours or by the next day, so there was not much time for structured review. I also didn’t always get timely feedback while I could still act on it. Some feedback came months after the work had ended.
My probation extension was meant to allow support and coaching to take effect, but I was dismissed before the extension period had fully ended. I had submitted evidence of improvement the day before the decision, but I don’t feel it was properly discussed or considered.
The coaching report apparently said the benefit of coaching should be assessed after a longer period, because performance can dip while new strategies embed.

I’m appealing because I think they didn’t properly separate disability-related communication issues from actual capability, didn’t give recent improvement enough weight, and didn’t consider alternatives such as letting the extension run, providing clearer QA/communication frameworks, assigning more standard analyst work, or redeploying me to a more suitable team.

I’m not saying I was perfect. I know there were areas to improve. But I feel like I was assessed against unclear expectations, on complex work, without the timely feedback and structure that had already been identified as necessary for me.

AIBU to think this was unfair and potentially linked to disability discrimination/failure to make reasonable adjustments? Or is this just how probation works, and I should accept it and move on?

OP posts:
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noctilucentcloud · 03/06/2026 20:24

noctilucentcloud · 03/06/2026 20:22

Shit OP, I am so sorry. That must have been terrifying. A very salient point to why people should not be recorded without permission, or photographed, or have names etc given out. It must be so much harder now to be and feel safe with everything online and people sharing photo's / video's from everywhere.

Sorry, I meant Taztoy not OP.

JustGiveMeReason · 03/06/2026 20:24

Magp13 · 03/06/2026 20:11

You’re coming across as a bully who is enjoying hectoring and being unnecessarily unpleasant. Blunt wouldn’t excuse it where I work, that’s just code for unnecessarily rude and a bit of a bully,

No she isn't.

So many people on this thread, and both of the OP's other two threads she has started today about the same thing, have been really helpful. The OP is completely unwilling to take on board any of the advice offered. You think she'd appreciate posters with a lot of experience offering advice.
There comes a time when it is worth trying being a bit more direct in the face of an OP being both rude and also unwilling to consider any advice offered.

take10yearsofmylife · 03/06/2026 20:24

Poor op, the environment doesn't sounds right for you. Almost feel like they struggle to offer the amount of adjustment they thought they could offer. It would be easier to dismiss you now than after your probation. May be look for another job now or and try to make some adjustment from your side? Remember, not all employers or managers are on your side unfortunately.

noctilucentcloud · 03/06/2026 20:22

Taztoy · 03/06/2026 20:16

I have a rapist who attempted to murder me and for a long time I had to be safe and not have any clues as to where I was put online. And I had and have extreme anxiety around him tracking me down.

Shit OP, I am so sorry. That must have been terrifying. A very salient point to why people should not be recorded without permission, or photographed, or have names etc given out. It must be so much harder now to be and feel safe with everything online and people sharing photo's / video's from everywhere.

Taztoy · 03/06/2026 20:17

Magp13 · 03/06/2026 20:13

I disagree. She is.

Im really trying very hard not to be. But I accept you may feel that I am.

Taztoy · 03/06/2026 20:16

noctilucentcloud · 03/06/2026 20:15

Please ignore this if you don't want to share, but what sort of disabilities relate to not being recorded? I can see how if you have social anxiety for example a reasonable adjustment might be to not turn your camera on, or that some people cannot be recorded for safe guarding issues. I would never record a meeting without people's permission but am curious as I often attend webinars which are recorded. You give your permission to be recorded but I am now wondering if that excludes some people (whilst simultaneously widening access to others as you can listen at any time).

I have a rapist who attempted to murder me and for a long time I had to be safe and not have any clues as to where I was put online. And I had and have extreme anxiety around him tracking me down.

PollyBell · 03/06/2026 20:15

Why is having autism a free rein to be deliberately rude? No one should get away with it so dont use it as an excuse

noctilucentcloud · 03/06/2026 20:15

Taztoy · 03/06/2026 20:02

Quite.

fyi a lot of folk I work with don’t know that I have an adjustment to be recorded - my immediate team do, but not the wider org. Because it’s none of their beeswax.

Please ignore this if you don't want to share, but what sort of disabilities relate to not being recorded? I can see how if you have social anxiety for example a reasonable adjustment might be to not turn your camera on, or that some people cannot be recorded for safe guarding issues. I would never record a meeting without people's permission but am curious as I often attend webinars which are recorded. You give your permission to be recorded but I am now wondering if that excludes some people (whilst simultaneously widening access to others as you can listen at any time).

SparklyBrickViper · 03/06/2026 20:13

In response to your original question I think, yes termination of employment during probation is reasonable.

Magp13 · 03/06/2026 20:13

VaultandSinagain · 03/06/2026 20:12

She really isn’t.

I disagree. She is.

Ralstan · 03/06/2026 20:13

this is the problem with schools and colleges and universities making so many adjustments to people, giving extra time, extra coaching, extra consideration, special circs etc. It's not reflective of the business environment in the real world.

Of course, reasonable adjustments must be made by employers. but the key is the in the word reasonable. In a fast paced business environment other employees cannot be expected to provide 1-2-1 support and hold your hand as was the case in school and college and university.

Sadly, all the support and adjustments that you are used to in college are not replicated in the world of work

VaultandSinagain · 03/06/2026 20:12

Magp13 · 03/06/2026 20:11

You’re coming across as a bully who is enjoying hectoring and being unnecessarily unpleasant. Blunt wouldn’t excuse it where I work, that’s just code for unnecessarily rude and a bit of a bully,

She really isn’t.

Magp13 · 03/06/2026 20:11

Taztoy · 03/06/2026 19:17

How am I not? Im autistic with adhd and I am blunt.

the op would be guilty if misconduct for recording without permission. If it was audio thats one thing, if it was video thats a whole other ballgame. I don’t allow any videos recorded of me. She had no right to do that.

if she used AI to transcribe, then there’s potentially sensitive company information being out in the ether.

adjustments have to reasonable and it seems to me that the op wasn’t a good fit for this company, and she wasn’t a good fit for the consultancy company before. She’s overselling her experience and she’s not learning from her roles - there’s more to doing a job than technical know how.

im crap at consulting because my autism means I can’t do the schmoozing side if it, so I don’t do that. But I also have 30+ years of experience under my belt.

You’re coming across as a bully who is enjoying hectoring and being unnecessarily unpleasant. Blunt wouldn’t excuse it where I work, that’s just code for unnecessarily rude and a bit of a bully,

CuntOfTheLitter · 03/06/2026 20:10

I was sacked for being pregnant within probation period - they made up a load of crap because I was struggling with back pain. And they commented on my “lack of commitment”

I was pregnant on the very first day and was completely upfront about it so that they couldn’t accuse me of pulling a fast one. It didn’t work.

It was a senior role in an asset management company in Edinburgh

nothing could be done - this was 15 years ago. I cared too much about my baby to go through the stress of suing them - I had a miscarriage the year before and was still devastated.
so let it go.

whitefluffydog · 03/06/2026 20:10

The choice is yours: if you have money to sue them, go nuclear

Taztoy · 03/06/2026 20:02

Laura95167 · 03/06/2026 19:59

Then why didn't you apologise?

She might have an adjustment to not be recorded

Quite.

fyi a lot of folk I work with don’t know that I have an adjustment to be recorded - my immediate team do, but not the wider org. Because it’s none of their beeswax.

Laura95167 · 03/06/2026 19:59

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 19:46

i didnt argue. i jsut told her i wouldnt do it again and it was an honest mistake

Then why didn't you apologise?

She might have an adjustment to not be recorded

Laura95167 · 03/06/2026 19:58

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 19:06

I dont need to answer you... u arent helping my situation.

OP youve asked opinions on whether terminating your employment during probation was reasonable.

The fact the probation was extended meant you werent performing adequately enough to pass your probation in the initial period.

Youve mentioned some things that arent related to your disability that may explain why your employer ended your probation. 1. Recording a call without consent 2. Refusing to apologise for this, when it was pointed out as inappropriate to you 3. Using wrong channels for work related discussions.

Other people are asking for additional info and pointing out potential areas of concern for an employer unrelated to your disability in order to help advise. Your short responses, arent always helpful and this poster has politely asked you to add more info and answers, saying please. And your response comes across as rude.

You don't have to answer. But if this is how you respond to people when they ask something of you that may be part of why your manager felt you werent suitable for the company

BrickProblems · 03/06/2026 19:58

I think OP needs to realise there’s a difference between being autistic and rubbing people up the wrong way deliberately. Yes the finding it tricky to work to quick deadlines etc I totally get. But for instance they’ve been told that brief abrupt replies are rude and keep doing them. They were asked to apologise for doing the recording for transcription and they refused to. Sounds like they also were told about what means to use/not use to communicate at work and CBA to change. Sorry but I don’t think those are autistic specific behaviours they sound like pain in the bum behaviours from someone who thinks they can do what they like without consequence. Most autistic people I know are practically desperate to do the right things at work when those things are clearly communicated.

herewegoagainonwednesday · 03/06/2026 19:57

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 16:52

I used the wrong channels for questions etc. and didn't apologise to someone for recording a call without their permission

Recording a call without permission is gross misconduct. Nothing was going to save you at this point….

ITMA2000 · 03/06/2026 19:57

Whyarepeople · 03/06/2026 15:41

I suppose the question is, do you genuinely want to work there long term? Is it the right job for you?

Edited

No job is the right job. Work takes work and not everyone wants to do it.

NiftyKoala · 03/06/2026 19:55

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 16:52

I used the wrong channels for questions etc. and didn't apologise to someone for recording a call without their permission

Unfortunately that is probably what did it for your former employer. Use this as a lesson so this does not happen at tbe next place.

Taztoy · 03/06/2026 19:54

Also. You Recording the meeting without consent of the attendees is a data protection breach. And. Depending on the content of the meeting and the effect on others might even be reportable to the ICO. Did you report the breach internally?

RunBun2 · 03/06/2026 19:54

Sorry OP. As a management consultant for 25 years you need to be self sufficient. No senior consultant has the time to provide the support you describe. It sounds as though actually they've been supportive and fair. I would say this type of role isn't for you and your skills probably lie elsewhere. A huge part of being a good consultant is stakeholder engagement and doing accurate work without always having a clear brief. That is basically what you're paid for.

VaultandSinagain · 03/06/2026 19:52

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 19:46

i didnt argue. i jsut told her i wouldnt do it again and it was an honest mistake

But did you apologise?
And are you able to write with proper punctuation, spelling and grammar? I know there’s no compulsion on a chat forum like this, but there’s so many writing errors it would seem unusual for someone in a professional field.

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