AIBU to think dismissal during probation was unfair given autism adjustments?

I have read the full sentence. That’s not what it says.

No one is saying they shoukd be osteacised or denied opportunites.

Look at OP, she was given a chance in a desirable job, given a coach and lots of adjustments. She's been given extra opportunities compared to most. She hasn't succeeded as it sounds like she doesn't have the skills required.

There’s not been anything posted so far that suggests that a discrimination claim would be successful. The company can let you go for no reason at all if they choose to and I don’t see that you are going to be able to demonstrate that it was for a disability.

As others have said, your responses and attitude on here do seem indicative of a lack of self-reflection.

It’s not uncommon in young people in their first jobs, but trying to reframe work to a question of “what am I bringing to the table here” rather than “why are they not doing what I want” tends to pay dividends in the long run.

Part of the job of a good manager is to help young people in that journey, but they tend to want to do that more if they see a willingness to learn.

Read the whole sentence. I was saying that's what the OP doesn't want anyone to do. I know lots of people have done.

I don't really understand the motive for saying that autistic people aren't hated. We acknowledge that racism, misogyny, ageism exist... but all of a sudden when it comes to autistic people, there's a perfectly sensible reason why they should be ostracised and denied opportunities? Hmm.

I'm not saying that all autistic people should do low status low paid roles.

Rather that high status high paid jobs often require similar skills that are hard to teach. These skills autistic people often find difficult. It's not realistic or fair for employers to employ people who do not have the required skills and make unreasonable allowances to keep someone unsuitable in a desirable job, when other people would love the job and perform well.

What would make the world fairer is if we give more status and pay to job that require other skills

If you haven’t got the skill set to do a job though where’s the shame in taking a lower level job in order to develop skills? Isn’t that what everyone has to do?
Just as it’s not the fault of autistic people that they may not be able to multitask for example it’s not the fault of an ND person who can.
And autistic people are not hated - they are still on many levels misunderstood but it’s much better than it was. Change takes time .

Has anyone said that all autistic people should do menial work?

They've said it might be a good option for the OP. The OP isn't all autistic people.

The majority of posters have said over and over again that the OP needs to take personal responsibility.

No, there's no shame in it - I've done lots of menial jobs myself. But you can't generally say, "maybe X marginalised group should stick to menial work" about anyone else

No, but they do give a false layer of security. Many of the "reasonable adjustments" in school are unreasonable to the staff and other students in my experience.

And suddenly things become clear. You can be honest and clear without being rude.

My son has managed to learn this by 13 (he is autistic just in case it wasn’t clear).

Plenty of marginalised (and non marginalised) people take low status and low paid jobs because that's all they can get (or do). There's no shame nor anything wrong with that. We all have different skills as humans and work should reflect the skills we do have.

Those of you who get so het up about adjustments at school/uni, what do you think will happen if those are removed? Do you think that people with disabilities will magically buck up their ideas and function normally? Or are you hoping they'll be forced out of higher education and into the kind of menial, low-paid work you think they should have to suck up?

You just aren’t good at all the things needed to do the job. Sorry if that’s hard to take. You need to find a job that plays to your strengths and demands less of your weaker attributes.

All the OP wants is to be told that someone/some people should have done most of her job for her and that because they didn't they discriminated against her so she should sue them for every penny they've got.

While we all stand on the sidelines clapping and cheering and not a single poster dares to suggest that she might take some personal responsibility.

I think that's evidenced by her responses on this thread and gives a good indication of why she was let go.

Many autistic people are highly employable. Nobody is saying that being autistic means you don't deserve a job. But anyone, autistic or not, who antagonises the business to that extent is going to be moved on.

If you speak to/message colleagues the way you reply on here im not surprised you failed probation.
I feel for you I really do.
The PP who said we are not doing young people any favours with their constant ‘adjustments’is bang on right,
Youve been to uni, got a degree but haven’t got all of the skills you need to join the working world.
Yes, legally companies have to provide ‘reasonable adjustments’. But this works both ways -they hve to be reasonable to the company too.
You sound like you needed someone with you, checking , advising, giving feedback, making sure everything was explained in triplicate to you -you sound like you needed someone with you constantly hand holding & reassuring .
Why don’t you stop aiming so high?
Something about you simply isn’t fitting in at this level/in this field of work.
It’s not right for you- yet.
Be realistic. Look for roles you can do not roles you want,
You may have to look at minimum wage jobs to develop the skills you need -there’s no shame in this, it is what it is,
I really can’t advise you strongly enough to do this otherwise you will make you unemployable as your cv will be full of 3-9 month posts where you hve failed probation.
Do yourself a favour, step back and do some regular work to develop people skills, to learn to multitask, to handle pressure.
Seriously -it’s the best thing you could do for yourself.

There is a tendency in modern disability rights' advocacy, especially online, to assume the world can be divided into "neuro-divergent" people who should receive every possible adjustment and accommodation (no matter how unreasonable), and "allistic" (word for not-autistic), "privileged" people who should make all possible accommodations. It's a childlike, binary view of the world. The world is not that simple. What about when disabled people's needs clash?

One scenario I have encountered is a learning disabled non-verbal child who made high-pitched noises, and an autistic child with noise sensitivity who went into meltdown at such noises, and experienced the first child's happy noises as sensory torture . You can't put those two children in the same session, and no amount of lecturing about inclusion is going to change the second child's misery.

We all have limits and unseen burdens, including allistic people. One colleague at work being expected to give OP detailed instructions on top of her own work may have a parent needing palliative care, or physical health issues of her own that affect her energy levels. Or hey, maybe she actually has zero health issues, to the extent that she is training for the 2028 Olympics so needs to leave work on the dot to get to her coaching session. Her ambitions outside work matter!

It doesn't matter whether the OP is asking for extra support because of a disability or because not, the clock will not stop while those colleagues are writing feedback for the OP. Time continues to progress, their own tasks are not done, and now their job performance is potentially impacted. They could perhaps remedy that by staying at work/on the laptop after hours, but now that's their time lost, whether they wanted to be with family, to be on their own decompressing, or to be pursuing health and fitness goals.

If a colleague has a palatable reason for needing extra help, such as a disability that means they need a bit of extra time to get to grips with the role, decent people will often dig extra deep to find the time to help, but that is time-limited, because they will eventually come up against their own limits. You can't do 1.5 people's work indefinitely without jeopardising your own health.

Burnout is a physical and emotional state. For example, I think a colleague would reach burnout with their workload more quickly if they spent ages composing a considered email of constructive feedback to a new junior colleague, and then received "wdym" back. But that's purely hypothetical. I'm sure nothing like that has ever happened.

I would disagree - I absolutely think autistic people are hated. It's a kind of particularly evil discrimination that people find very easy to justify to themselves.

I also don't think the answer is "just do a low-paid low-status job". No other marginalised group would be expected to put up with that.

Companies aren't allowed to not give someone a job just because they have autism. That would be direct disability discrimation.

They are also required to make reasonable adjustments to accommodate someone with autism and support them to do the job. Not giving reasonable adjustments would be indirect discrimination.

But they don't have to employ someone unsuitable, who can't do the job, and allow them to do whatever they want and give endless support just because that person is autistic.

I think part of the problem is expectation. In school and uni environments saying 'I can't do that, I have autism' is acceptable, and the whole environement/expectations will be altered. This leads people to think that they can walk into a workplace and explain what they need/want and won't/can't do, and that this will be completelty fine. It won't. The job needs to be done, and if it can't be done with some reasonable support, then they will be let go.

Sounds from this and the other threads that op has been let go from several other jobs prior to this. So there could be an issue with op not responding to time and development, including extended probation time to allow this.

JRM is that you?

Were/are you in a union? Speak to them if so, and they may be able/willing to make a case with you/on your behalf.

It’s not just about doing the work, it’s also about relationships and expectations and social interactions. These are sometimes as important as the actual work as they affect the running of projects / teams / the business.

Op i’m quite surprised you weren’t aware of this policy. Did you not notice that someone would always ask permission from other participants on previous calls before starting any recording? I can definitely see why the company have concerns with your conduct here.