What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

I'd have asked if he forgot to pay the electricity bill!

This is GOLD

If I think about it, he actually looked more like Princess Margaret. Even down to the hair colour and facial features.

Anyway we broke up the day after and while it was nothing to do with him being insufferably pretentious and perfectly ridiculous - the image of him huddling himself together against the snow and wind with his silky headscarf on DID help soften the blow.

Mine always parks in the visitor spaces next door to the head teacher at school events. I guess technically he is visiting but there are only 3 spaces and ALL the other parents park at the back car parks. He definitely sees himself as special and inside I cringe!

All of them!!

Mine is so tame compared, but my second ever boyfriend, god he was weird. He told me he’d had As in his GCSEs and was doing maths and something else clever in college. Turned out he had Cs and Ds and absolutely no friends.

He would argue with me at my house, and one night he rang from a phone box (this was 27 years ago!) and he said “I’ve left a little surprise for you, under your pillow” in a really over the top sinister voice like he was doing a voice over for a horror film. He’d ripped up all my photos of us and left them under my pillow. I called my friend sobbing and she drove me to Tesco for a massive bar of dairy milk to cheer me up. It did take me another 2 months to dump him and after that he stalked me for months, even knocking on the door of the boy I started seeing, asking if he could let me go so he could ask me out again 😂 SW you are a fucking massive TOOL

A pervy hobbit omfg. That's classic.

@Bloozie hahahha hyperthermic Queen Mother! Excellent 😂

Wear crocs.

🤣 The wankiest thing my ex has done would be breathe which you may think is extreme however you don't know him.

He was a violent bully and made our lives hell even in the aftermath. 3 of my adult youngsters out of 4 have nothing to do with him, my daughter limited so I think that tells you all.

Perhaps you were looking for something more light hearted however there is nothing light hearted to say about him.

I've rebuilt a good happy life since leaving him 26 years ago however !!!l

Only until the new daughter wises up and decides she no longer wants to see the bastard.

I had one particular standout ex who did so many wanky things. He was also in a band (obvs).

The standout one was that he was reading Irvine Welsh's book Filth on the train to work, and I really hated that book and said so - not in a nasty way, I read a lot and just thought we could have a conversation about it. He glared at me, got off the train at the next stop - even though it wasn't his stop and he had to wait half an hour for another train - and never spoke to me again. I was actually really in love with him (idiot that I am) so couldn't believe this was genuinely the reason he broke up with me. He only ever sent me one text: 'You know what you've done.'

I subsequently found out that he'd shagged his ex-girlfriend behind my back and they were back together.

OMG @Bloozie I've ploughed through 29 pages of dickheads, wankers, abusers, twats & a handful of gemstone Dads who've got their daughter's backs. But this one just made me snort 🤣

Definitely wanky 🏆

We shared a love of the countryside and went hawking together. It was early February and FREEZING cold - like, minus 10 and snowing.

I wore merino wool leggings, thin jogging bottoms and thick walking trousers, merino base layer, thermal mid-layer, fleece, down jacket, scarf, woollen hat, gloves...

He wore thin corduroy trousers, a Harris tweed jacket with shirt underneath and a silken neck scarf. Which ended up tied around his head to protect his ears from the biting wind.

In his head: country squire.

In reality: Queen Mother, but make her hyperthermic.

SO WANKY.

😂 that “you’d” blown it. Honestly…

My first proper boyfriend - manipulative, jealous, dishonest. I was v naive and he tied me up in knots. Finally split up and a few weeks later he came round. It was possible, he said, that his friends might tell me that he’d been shagging someone else, because he’d told them he was, but he’d just been showing off, so I shouldn’t believe them. I was so happy because I realised I didn’t give a fuck either way.
Then he tried to kiss me but I moved away, so he told me I’d ‘blown it’ and left. A good day.

Totally nasty f*cker!

I love this one too 😂

Here are a few things that spring to mind, amalgamated from various exes (I wish I'd had a little more respect for myself in my younger years):

• Saying of himself on multiple occasions, as a 20-something, "I'm very well read."
• Spontaneously playing his guitar while we hung out in his tiny cramped bedroom, looking at me expectantly every so often
• Constantly complaining about the fact that his dad wanted him to go to college or uni and was crushing his dream of "being in a band" 😂(I notice there are several band-related posts in this thread... what is it with these guys?!)
• Had a tantrum and stormed off from our group of friends when I suggested an alternative explanation for something he was complaining about
• Saying that I needed to shave more (not sure why some guys think it's ok to comment on women's bodies so much?!)
• In his 20s, said that he wished schoolgirls were only allowed to wear skirts, not trousers 🤢 (he was a total fucking pervert)

Your Dad is a genius!

what an absolute bell-end waste of space

My aunt was pregnant with twins

Her arsehole ex pushed her down the stairs and kicked her stomach while she laid at the bottom

She was rushed to hospital and gave birth to them-both very poorly babies because they where so premature

Where was he while she was desperately trying not to give birth?

Shagging her sister (my other aunt) and got her pregnant (im not sure what happened to that baby but she didnt have it)

One of the babies died-she was very lucky the other one survived (and that was very touch and go)

She had nowhere else to go and no money,so had to go back to him

He was a pisshead and would come home,bounce the baby on his knee and piss himself/all over the baby before passing out and battered her daily

She finally saw an option to leave (this is only the 70's) and ran,taking her baby with her

Married another total (snobby) wanker and divorced him years later

Shes now happy just casually dating and refuses to get serious (cant say i blame her!)

Shes having the time of her life and good for her

Him?

After not wanting to know his baby,years later got in touch and demanded 'respect' and a relationship

The now grown up baby told him to fuck off and he dropped down dead,on his own in a shitty flat about a fortnight later and wasnt found for days (he'd been hounding his now adult child for contact but suddenly went quiet)

Nobody mourned him-he was quietly cremated and god knows where they scattered his ashes

Anyone remember Mutley’s snigger from Whacky Races

That dog must have been having a good laugh

Ah yes, and my ex done that as well as ask her to make dinners, wash clothes etc. Crazy looking back

LOL at Mr Wiggly 😂

The reason my first marriage ended was because he was shagging someone else for months, but he did a great job of convincing himself HE was the victim.

After a failed reconciliation attempt (what was I was thinking?!) I went on holiday with a friend - a holiday I was supposed to have gone on with ex - to our favourite country, which is relevant. Whilst away I decided I wasn't taking anymore of H's shit and to crack on with splitting up. I got home to find he'd decided he 'missed' me and was angling to get back together. I said that wasn't happening and that's when the wankiness really ramped up a gear.

I went to stay with a friend and on returning to the house to collect some clothes found that ex had burned a load of things associated with our favourite country in a metal bucket in the garden, like some kind of pagan ritual. He'd also smashed up my framed pictures of said country. Yeah mate, blame the country I went on holiday to for us not getting back together, not you cheating on me 🙄

There was loads of other more unpleasant wankiness. Wanker.