What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

Sounds like my ex. Mine went for his own solicitor at the family court and security had to be called. His parental rights were revoked and I’ve never had to see him again.

Or found his Phorever people 😂

Too many to choose from but the icing on the cake was that we bumped into each other in the street after a year or so of not speaking, he initiated a cordial text exchange afterwards but then shoehorned in:
'Oh, I should also tell you, in case you bump into us, ive started seeing a 25 year old, didnt want you to call me a nonce in public ha ha ha'
(He had a long history of dating women in their early twenties but insisted it wasnt creepy because he also dated women older than him, and besides he's far too intellectual for that he only dates the smart ones because he's just terribly sophisticated you know)

Left him for being long-term useless, jobless and a general drain on my life.

He seemed to sort himself out somewhat for a while. Took up running, got a job etc. I was pleased for him.

He then got with a lowish level influencer and got very into them both posting their relationship all over Instagram. This is the complete opposite of how he had been previously where he was quite outwardly private about his personal life.

The cringiest thing was the staged and filmed proposal set to soppy music posted all over the place as soon as it happened. Cue lots of posting of their 'engagement journey' and wedding.

I'm not sure but I don't think he has a steady job at the moment. He has launched then abandoned a couple of businesses online.

She doesn't post about him as often anymore 😬

my ex used to get himself a glass of red wine, cheese and biscuits, put his glasses on, and pretend to read poetry. I realised after a few months that the various pairs of glasses he had all had plain glass in them, and all of his poetry books were pristine, not a single crease in a single spine… what a tw@t.

I bloody love your dad 😂

He was extremely good looking. So at least he was gazing at something worth looking at.

Cuz he wasn’t worth much else.

OMG! Mine identified as a musician too. He was very frustrated after his rare and also unpaid gigs, he didn't think he was getting enough kudos. I said something about the audience enjoying the music. He ranted "I don't want them to enjoy it, I want them to be impressed!"

His classically trained singing voice and enunciation sounded somewhat odd and frankly embarrassing when he sang Burns. In public.

Someone I know slightly divorced her husband after he had an affair. He went to court to deny her the ability to take the kids abroad. And, during the holidays, they both took them (on consecutive weeks) to Cornwall. When she suggested that she just drive them to wherever he was staying so they didn’t have to do the trip back home and then the trip back to Cornwall he refused. So they had to drive back from Cornwall to the Home Counties and then back to Cornwall the following day. In the middle of the summer holidays.

My ex-h booked a church wedding to the OW and a full reception for 60 people .... when we weren't divorced!

In the end the Decree Absolute came through about 6 or 7 days before the wedding.

Posted too soon, we never had another penny from him, I remarried, to a wonderful man while His Lordship lives in squalor in a rundown seaside chalet😂

😂😂😂

My ex- (to whom I was never married) rang me up several years after we'd split to tell me he had just got engaged to a woman I'd never met (still haven't). Fine, whatever, good for him (though why tell me?), but he was in Brazil and it was 2 o'clock in the morning in London, plus I had an exam the next morning at 10. I was not amused.

He has been in the process of divorcing her for more than 5 years now, but she is stringing out the financial business, probably in the hope that he'll die.

I still cringe about this. ExH who had told me that he would not pay me anything for our DD because I was spoilt and would only spend it on food for both DD and I, sent her a cheque for her 2nd birthday signed LORD SURNAME. He had bought one of those wanky Lord of The Manor titles

Went on a trip to his home country to meet his family, etc. Halfway through the trip, he dumped me. Shit enough, but he then spent the remainder of the trip begging me to have sex 'one last time' as a perfect memory, the last time we would do it, blah blah blah. Strangely enough, I was able to resist.

A vintage-revealing comment! 😂

That is awful.

Oooooooh - I forgot. Once we were doing our graduate jobs, he decided that he would rather be a pilot. Only thing is that he needed to get a pilot’s licence which (at the time) was £5k for whatever the first rung was. So he said, I know, I’ll just do nothing for ten months, save £500 a month then I can do it.

Then he (and his family) looked shocked when I said “Well we have an issue. You owe me £4.5k from doing that Master’s. You could do nothing and have me paid back in nine months. At which he SULKED and said “Well I suppose I can’t be a pilot then”. I said it’s up to you but you need to pay me back.

Then we went to the bank and he set up a standing order to pay me £100 a month until it was paid back (he did pay the last £1,400 back in one lump sum).

While paying he sent me one email to ask if he could skip paying that month because he’d spent lots buying stuff for his flat. I said that he was older than me, earned more and it was up to him to manage his living expenses. If he skipped this month, he would have to pay £200 the next - or he could get a bank loan and pay me back all at once. Dickhead.

@AcrossthePond55 I’m 50/50 on if it was an accident because honestly seeing him try and use the computer brings me to tears but he also is very much the type of person who would definitely do it intentionally.

Nude Polaroids is inane, was he at least good looking??

'Cyber bullied by a pensioner and then ran away from him' oh my god thats got me 😆

We used to do pick up and drop off at a petrol station..
stood waiting for us using his car bonnet for press ups as lunges
in tight Lycra
in front of the whole forecourt
the only exercise he did when we were together was to the fridge

(He was a very recent Oxford graduate.) He went to Oxford for the weekend and when he came back said, "I told a Proust joke and everybody laughed. That would never happen in London."

Utter twat.

My ex jilted me for an older woman who looked like Nana Mouskouri - probably still does. Her dad was quite influential in the same field jobswise as ex. They finally married and the wanky thing is they called their daughter Octavia because she was the eighth grandchild in his illustrious FILs family. I don't think it got him anywhere

this has to be the wankiest!!!

@GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf

You really think your dad shared that FB post 'by mistake'? I don't. Sounds like something I'd do accidentally on purpose (as an 'older person') and then claim "Whoopsie!! I'm such a Luddite!!".

I don't have any stories to match the ones being posted, my wanker ex was pretty boring. He did enjoy taking nude Polaroids (yes, I'm that old) of himself and then gazing at them lovingly.