Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

933 replies

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
vanessashanessa99 · 03/06/2026 17:07

This was years ago but he learned pretty quickly I don't stand for that behaviour (we was both 19 at the time)
A little old lady who lived three doors away from us stood at bus stop in town in the pouring rain with 4 shopping bags. I said "aww let me stop and pick Beryl (not her name) up" and he said "bus will be here soon fk her". I said a few choice words & made him get out and get the bus home. Dropped her home. Unpacked her shopping made her a cup of tea.
He appeared about 40mins later piss wet through.

Summervibes83 · 03/06/2026 17:06

ThePlantPotter · 03/06/2026 14:21

When I broke up with him he tried to make me jealous by showing me a photo of his new girlfriend. It was a photo of Jennifer Lopez 😂.

😂😂😂😂

LetsSkipThisPartPleeeeeeeessssse · 03/06/2026 17:06

ThePlantPotter · 03/06/2026 14:21

When I broke up with him he tried to make me jealous by showing me a photo of his new girlfriend. It was a photo of Jennifer Lopez 😂.

This is hilarious!

DefinitelyNotMaybe · 03/06/2026 17:05

Cut his kids out of his will because wife #2 told him it's the law in her country (it's not).

NC175 · 03/06/2026 17:05

The silliest thing he did was pretend to have a girlfriend when he was feeling a bit jealous of my relationship. So texting me “we will take DC on holiday” etc. He hasn’t had a serious relationship since we split about 12 years ago 🤣
Hes done a lot of really nasty stuff too but I could write a book on that.

Triskellion75 · 03/06/2026 17:05

Isometimeswonder · 03/06/2026 14:59

After not hearing from him for months he sent me a picture of his new baby .... I can't have children.

Oh that's wicked.

Soontobesingles · 03/06/2026 17:04

Messaged my older sister 10 years after we broke up to tell her he’d always fancied her while we were together and ask if she’d be up for meeting him for sex - even though she was pregnant at the time and posting about it on the same social media site he contacted her on!

Princejoffyjaffur · 03/06/2026 17:04

LovelifeHa · 03/06/2026 14:10

Blimey, mines the king of 'wanky' so the list is long indeed...

One standout was him pretending his car was a different model to the one it was i.e. calling a polo a golf. It was very obviously a polo and he just looked like a complete spanner.

His excuse was that in his country, they call them 'Golf's'. I was with him visiting his country when we hired a car. It was a Polo and oddly enough, it was called a 'polo'... 🙄

In South America, there was a VW Gol (not Golf) that was similar to a Polo.

LetsSkipThisPartPleeeeeeeessssse · 03/06/2026 17:04

ThePeppyOpalScroller · 03/06/2026 14:17

Took "his" lightbulbs when he moved out.

😂

Frugalgal · 03/06/2026 17:03

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

Is your ex Trump? 🤣🤣

SeeYouLaterAlligator1 · 03/06/2026 17:03

We were together for 12 years and had been trying for a baby for around 3 years. I finally fell pregnant and we moved from rural Wales back to Glasgow, my home town. He didn't know anyone there but he had been happy to move.

Little did I know that he had been on 'friendship' sites as soon as we moved to the big city and been chatting to a couple of women. He broke up with me, walked out on me and my baby weeks after they were born and got with one of these women he'd been chatting to while I was pregnant. Got her pregnant 12 months later. Still together I believe so I assume they must be more suited than he and I were. But still. A real prince!

That was 3 years ago and I've not been near a man since!

LetsSkipThisPartPleeeeeeeessssse · 03/06/2026 17:03

theallypallywasp · 03/06/2026 14:11

Get his mam to do his ironing (she used to let herself into his flat to do it while he was at work). Prick. I mean that's not the wankiest but it's the one that makes me think WHAT A LOSER the most 😁

I’d love for my mum to come and do my ironing. He’s a lucky chap, not a wanky chap imo.

TheWisePanda · 03/06/2026 17:02

SparklyGreenTiger · 03/06/2026 16:22

Tears rolling down my face at this one!

Show quote history

Same here 😂

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 03/06/2026 17:01

Apparently my ex recently took petrol money off his new wife for driving her to a city 2 hours away to renew her visa - she's from South America and has no recourse to public funds and isn't working so has no income of her own. They have a child together 🤯 I definitely dodged a bullet with that one. I feel for the poor woman.

LetsSkipThisPartPleeeeeeeessssse · 03/06/2026 17:00

Mumofyellows · 03/06/2026 13:59

Drop my 11yr daughter off and leave her outside the house in January without a house key knowing I was not home and an hour away, so he could go to the gym.

That’s definitely wanky!

Jollyhockeystickss · 03/06/2026 17:00

Told his new girlfriend that i was fat and ugly and useless etc etc, he got said girlfriend to come to mine to drop off our daughter and i could see this woman who was very unattractive and overweight and frumpy and old so i came out into the road looking gorgeous and tanned in a little summer dress, well the look on his face he was livid, also the look on her face because shes now thinking OMG shes really attractive and if hes saying that about her and shes really attractive whats he saying about me....the look on both their faces...

MyArtfulGreySloth · 03/06/2026 16:59

Messaged me to say I had broken his heart after finding out I was having a baby, ten years after we had broken up 😂

ThatCyanCat · 03/06/2026 16:56

YourOnMute · 03/06/2026 16:47

My ex has actually married again in another state and we're not divorced. He's "disappeared" (to avoid paying maintenance) and not much I can do about it.

Show quote history

Surely you can show the relevant authorities that you're still married so his latest marriage won't be treated as if it's legitimate?

Isometimeswonder · 03/06/2026 16:56

ItsNotMeEither · 03/06/2026 16:23

I'm sorry you came across such an asshole!

Show quote history

Thank you.
He was spiteful because I'd finished things, as soon as I'd realised how controlling he was under the charm.

TheWisePanda · 03/06/2026 16:53

BillieWiper · 03/06/2026 15:07

Haha. He sounds familiar. I had a couple guys like that. 'im a musician'...erm not if you don't get paid you're not. And the only thing you know how to play is oasis songs?!!

Show quote history

You’ve just reminded me of my SIL’s ex boyfriend who got his guitar out and started singing oasis songs at the dining table…whilst we were having Christmas dinner…with all the kids, grandparents etc… he was 45 at the time. Total cockwomble.

NasiDagang · 03/06/2026 16:52

Not having a shower or a bath for one month.😷

Mapletree1985 · 03/06/2026 16:50

The man who cheated on me left right and centre, and lied through his teeth to me about everything, posted on another social media about how being such a honest person had held him back in his career.

I was so tempted....

LostThestral · 03/06/2026 16:50

stalked me relentlessly

Ilovelurchers · 03/06/2026 16:47

There are many, but ....

He claimed I was lying about dating someone else (he was forever claiming I was lying - in this case he was trying to imply that nobody else would ever want me). So I said, do you want me to send you a photo of us together. He said yes. I did. Then he went mental at me, claiming I was the most heartless person who ever lived for sending this photo.

YourOnMute · 03/06/2026 16:47

Lunde · 03/06/2026 16:38

My ex-h booked a church wedding to the OW and a full reception for 60 people .... when we weren't divorced!

In the end the Decree Absolute came through about 6 or 7 days before the wedding.

My ex has actually married again in another state and we're not divorced. He's "disappeared" (to avoid paying maintenance) and not much I can do about it.