What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

That's awful.

I did this with a picture of a groundhog for an ex, to remind myself of groundhog day (obviously).
But not my kids dad and they never would have seen my phone.

Mine didn't tell our daughter he was getting married and changed his whatsapp pic to a wedding photo of him, his new wife, their baby and his step daughter. They live in a different country, was always going be challenging for her to go. They still haven't said they're married, been 6 months and they've visited twice!

I had one jump out of bed in the early hours and measure how much mattress he had 🤦‍♀️

In my early twenties had a boyfriend that I decided I no longer wanted to be with . No drama and I thought I was quite nice and gently let him know . He was upset but I figured he'd be OK as it wasn't a long relationship.
He came into my work and handed me an invoice for all he bought me and said I should pay him . It included trips to cinema twice , meal out once , a 45rpm single ( Wired for Sound by Cliff Richard ) cards and teddy bear he got me for Valentine's Day .

Mine did this… but saved me as ‘evil fucking slag’ - only found out because my then 5 yo asked me what it meant!

edit to add- no I wasn’t!… I think he just couldn’t understand why I’d want to leave him and then has spent 15 years showing everyone else exactly why I did with his absolute knobish behaviour!

Jesus. How long had you been together with this cretin?

Some of these are truly horrendous but some are just so entertaining batshit crazy

I almost wish I'd had an utterly unhinged ex now, almost.

😂😂 Oh God my ex would love to do that now seeing as he's 'found religion'. He's worse than ever now.

This isn't the wankiest but the first thing that came to mind, on a couple of occasions he's posted birthday messages to the kids talking about how he 'birthed them himself' and they were his greatest achievement as if they don't have a mother who has them 24/7. I actually had some of his mates tell me about those and how much of a knob he came across.

This is brilliant! Did you play along?

a suit so tight every seam was screaming for its life, with a top hat and skull tipped cane, covered in eyeliner, referring to himself as master.

I have just burst out laughing and scared the dog.

Wow. It's not funny.

Bought vintage jaguars (plural), put them in my name without my knowledge and then got loads of tickets for speeding, driving without insurance and parking on double red lines.

I would have called him and the ex stating you'd drop her at the police station on your way to work.

‘Accidentally’ sent me a selfie that was meant for his much younger OW who prided herself on being very alternative - him in a suit so tight every seam was screaming for its life, with a top hat and skull tipped cane, covered in eyeliner, referring to himself as master. With a text that said he had ordered a box with a handle so they could take her pet snake to the pub.

I sent back a crying laughing emoji and said RIP to the suit, it put up a good fight but was no match for his giant arse and stomach and I hoped the snake would escape and find a home with people who were not gobshites.

In her defence she was 23 and very immature. He was 43.

I still hope the snake ran away.

OMG, this reminded me of the twat I dated in my twenties. He sent me an email literally fifteen years after we broke up WITH NO CONTACT AT ALL, to tell me he was sitting on a sand dune watching the sunset and he was getting married the next day. I was like “sorry, who is this?”

Emailed his kids after we split and said he hoped they could keep in touch..

Indeed, but a lonely middle aged man now who doesn't live with none of his kids so karma comes back.

Omg you win. This is peak wankiness.

Your dad is a legend!

I love this thread!

Mine: had a baby with his first partner in the UK, then started an online relationship with an Australian, and abandoned his partner and baby to go and live in Aus with the online woman (he lied about this when I met him).

During Covid, the Australian dumped him, so he moved back to the UK, which is where I met him. After two years, he told me and his now-teenage daughter that he was moving to live in the same town as his daughter.

What he actually did was move to Thailand to live with another woman he’d met online. When his parents found out where he was, his mother emailed me to tell me the truth about the Australian. Her words: “he’s got real issues and you’re better off without him.” His mother was lovely :(

I feel so awful for his daughter. Her view of men is going to be so screwed up.

—-

Friend 1: she left him as he was an abusive alcoholic. She moved out of the family home and into a flat with their son. After three months, he told her he was moving in with someone else and wouldn’t be paying the mortgage on their house anymore. She went round the following day and he’d put all the furniture in the garden. It had obviously been there for weeks and was all ruined.

—

Friend 2: they’d been married for years with two kids under ten. He left her out of the blue, taking one small bag of clothes with him, and she was shell-shocked and very depressed.

Two weeks later, he called her and said he’d made a mistake and that he was coming home. She was thrilled and SO relieved.

The day after he came home, they sat down to sort out finances. She left him logged into all the bank accounts and went out with the kids for a couple of hours. When she came back, he’d emptied their accounts and the kids’ savings accounts, cleared out his wardrobe and taken all the cash and portable electronics.

He hid all his money during the divorce and she obviously couldn’t afford a good finance person to find it. Twenty years later she’s still dealing with the financial repercussions: she’s 63 and working two jobs, he’s living mortgage free in a five bed house.

Got married and divorced not once but twice since we broke up 13 years ago!! And that’s after being married and divorced when I met him!!

Is bigamy not a crime where you are? I'd report him to the relevant authorities (state, law enforcement, civil, religious, whatever,) because he 100 pct deserves it.
And if the police do eventually catch up with him, well, shrug.

Some of my choice highlights and to be fair, my ex is a selfish arsehole and definitely a wanker, but he's not cruel or evil like some examples on this thread.

• Deleted my novel off MY computer to install Medal of Honour while I was away
• Cut into MY brand new car bumper and installed a tow hitch for his eBay jetski (despite being told not to and having his own car) while I was away
• Installed his penis into a mutual work colleague while I was away...

... Where was I you ask? Doing shedloads of overtime in Sweden to pay off our wedding which had been less than a year prior...

Oh and he continues to be a tit to this day - search for 'toilet goblin' on here!

Oh too many to mention but to name a few

Would work out when he could take "sick" days at work so as not to trigger any of the absence procedures to give himself extra 'holiday' because he'd earned it

Intentionally pick me up late so I didn't ask him to do it the next time

Refused to pay for a TV license because he thought the warning letters were empty threats

Left a car he owned at the bottom of our street unmoved for months then got angry when the police towed it away.

Would eat fried chicken in bed 🤢

Cheated on me with someone almost 20 years younger than him, and 10 years younger than me!

When we split, he wrapped and gifted his mum a diffuser and some oils I'd left for Christmas! Tight arse.

What a catch.

Thankfully I married someone else.