What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

I'm old and it was the DH of my employer but when Evelyn Waugh's Brideshead Revisited was televised in 1981, there was a trend for men to be seen out and about wearing Barbour coats and with an ancient teddy bear tucked under their arm, just as one of the protagonists in BR did.

This was the final straw for my employer. The embarrassment she felt at seeing him cross the road trying to look like a character from an aquatint from 1930's Oxford was too much and she was done.

Oh my god that is proper 🤮🤮🤮

This is more funny than serious but someone I dated for a few months once labelled his food with his name before I went to his house and stayed for the weekend. Actually used a sharpie to write his name on food and drinks he didn’t want me touching, not that I would have rooted through his kitchen cupboards. He would do it every time I went around. In general he was nice enough but it gave me the massive ick and I had to end it.

FFS what?

Haha..classic! yeah a couple of mine used to hang out at the Mixer or the Dublin Castle. I was from that area so it was all a bit cringe to me, but they seemed to think they were the living embodiment of rock n roll just by lingering about in Camden on weekends. While being from Basingstoke.

They probably do but in my exP's country they just have Golf's and Polo's (to my knowledge anyway) and they were definitely referred to as such.

He just though the Golf had more kudos than a Polo and assumed everyone was dumb enough to believe him - even his brother laughed like a drain and called him out for being an arse. Of course, that was then our fault for making him look silly. Nah mate, you did that all by yourself 😂

My ex had the textbook midlife crisis. He went out and bought a massive motorbike and got himself an OW with a belt for a skirt.

The funniest part was that he was Welsh but was hanging about with his friend who was Scottish so he started to speak with a Scottish accent.

He would come home at weekends saying "Och aye" a lot and I would stand open mouthed.

He started to dress like a biker but more what he thought a biker looked like. In fact what he thought all the bikers in his head looked like so he was suddenly covered in tattoos and loaded down with 'biker jewelry' and patches stitched to his clothes etc. He was a cartoon biker basically and he knew bugger all about bikes so he was a total phony.

He was laughed at in the street because he looked every inch the 'plastic biker'.

I found the whole thing toe curling but I was trying to manage my Dad with dementia and keep my job at the time so I let him get on with it until I got my Dad care and I booted him, his OW and her son out of my house.

It was all a bit 'Jeremy Kyle' there for a minute and the end was messy but I'm so glad it's all over with. The person he was before and after were totally different or I would never have been with him. It was like a personality transplant.

Ew.

Jesus Christ! I had a similar situation but it was with my sister's cat, which I was asked to 'look after' for a week and still had 15 years later.

Tell us more! Did they come back from Mauritius and just forget they had a kid?!

I had one like that too. He was convinced he was going to be spotted by talent scouts in the Good Mixer (which I lived near at the time) because he looked the part, although he couldn't play guitar for toffee.

He stayed at my flat for so long in pursuit of this hopeless dream that, in the end, I gave him £20 to get the train back to his hometown, and that was the last I saw of him. He left his guitar.

My ex-DH did me a kindness when he left me suddenly for OW four years into our marriage (didn't last long and ex still single after a good few casual relationships over the years).

This happened many years ago. He wasn't a very nice person and did several nasty things during the time I was with him including defrauding his parents out of their home that they had to sell to pay off his debts.

However, a couple of years ago he posted a huge rant on social media coming out as bisexual and how his DM could not understand or approve of his lifestyle. He's late 50s. She was in her 80s for goodness sake!

'Splenda Daddy' OMG so brilliant!

Leo?

By the time they returned the police were waiting and Social Services had applied for a care order. Apparently there were other issues. Got him on a long-term foster.

This is unreal. Dumping a baby to go on holiday!! Did you file for custody or did they just not want him back?
Either way you have a very big heart ❤️

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

This has genuinely made my day 😂😂😂

Narc ex came back 2 years later asking for his goldfish back as it meant a lot to him. I had let it go free in the big pond with lots of other goldfish. Was amusing to watch him flapping around trying to catch a random fish to save face. He failed obviously but many years later it still gives me a good laugh

Yes I'm hoping the poster who lol-ed at the pig story misread it and thought the horrible ex had ended up with the pig image. Ghastly man.

My friend (who i posted about above) had her cheating narc ex saved in her phone as "Tiny Weiner".

Flew overseas to marry someone he’d only met online in another country a month after we broke up. I know it didn’t work out because she came to her senses and he was back in the UK within six months ha

Always described himself as “too nice” but was the nastiest person I ever met, so I guess he can also add delusional to his personality traits.

Op what a knob I’ve got visions of him as Micheal Jackson

You weren´t wrong, you said ABOUT 10 minutes, so 11 and a bit comes within the scope.

I’ve never posted about this before but suddenly I feel inspired 😂 poor teenage me had an awful “boyfriend” that only ever took me out in his car (no proper dates) and would be all nice until he got what he wanted. After that would be an absolute wanker claiming he had to put his DJing career first and had no time for a relationship as he was “special” and had to live his life to the “absolute maximum” god i still remember the exact words, cringe!!!!
he had a horrible little vroom vroom metallic paint car with one of those teeny tiny number plates and once left me by the side of the road with his tunes blaring out as he drove off.
I was heartbroken at the time but honestly was an idiot for falling for any of it 😂 I hope he is somewhere cringing at himself but I fear not as he’s just so special and unique 🥴😂

Hired a Ferrari to take his 16 year-old assistant to her school leavers do, then posted photos all over SM implying that she was his new gf 🤢

What.... 22 years?