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What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

933 replies

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

OP posts:
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7
HobGobblynne · 04/06/2026 12:27

Got a (midlife crisis) tattoo of his childrens names when he barely sees them.

Approached the coach of my youngest's football team about volunteering to help when (again) the only time he sees her is at said training.

frozendaisy · 04/06/2026 12:24

Wetcoatsandmudagain · 04/06/2026 10:16

Narc ex came back 2 years later asking for his goldfish back as it meant a lot to him. I had let it go free in the big pond with lots of other goldfish. Was amusing to watch him flapping around trying to catch a random fish to save face. He failed obviously but many years later it still gives me a good laugh

This has to go in a sit-com!

frozendaisy · 04/06/2026 12:21

JustAnotherWhinger · 04/06/2026 09:27

Mine has posted on FB this morning that he’s “disappointed and saddened” that I’m “blocking” our daughters from attending his birthday celebrations.

He invited them yesterday. To a meal next weekend. They already have plans to attend a wedding in DH’s family (hence my “blocking”).

Apparently a good mother would allow them to his celebration rather than “forcing” them to attend the wedding of a random relative of DH’s.

One of them is so close to the relative that she’s a bridesmaid. The other is doing a reading.

They’re 27. 😂

Send him FB Thoughts and prayers!

frozendaisy · 04/06/2026 12:19

HelenaWaiting · 04/06/2026 09:22

Left me to bring up to kids alone for another woman he swore he wasn't having an affair with. Six months later, she gave birth. Fast forward two years he dropped the kids off after an access visit and also handed over his two year old saying "Watch the baby for half an hour will you? I have an errand to run".

Four hours later I found out that he and new missus had gone on holiday to Mauritius for three weeks. I still have "the baby". He's 22 now and adorable.

Oh my actual Mary mother of Jesus fucking Christ

PetulaGordeno · 04/06/2026 12:11

categoriesofarse · 04/06/2026 12:05

He wanted us to spend Christmas Day together for the dc’s sake. He pulled out on 23/12 because his mistress whom he denied existed invited him to hers. She cooked him dinner on 24/12 then dumped him the same evening, so he spent Christmas alone - with food poisoning from her out of date prawns 😂

He’s a shit who deserves the shits.

categoriesofarse · 04/06/2026 12:05

He wanted us to spend Christmas Day together for the dc’s sake. He pulled out on 23/12 because his mistress whom he denied existed invited him to hers. She cooked him dinner on 24/12 then dumped him the same evening, so he spent Christmas alone - with food poisoning from her out of date prawns 😂

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 04/06/2026 12:05

He goes to Disneyland a lot with his current GF. He posts pictures of him standing with Donald duck or goofy. He's a grown man in his late 30s with no children. Very wanky.

He's done lots of other horrible things, but this is just wanky.

Dinkiedoo · 04/06/2026 12:04

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

Made himself look dead then lol
My ex was just a knob by existing. Too many things to list

Paramaribo2025 · 04/06/2026 12:03

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

Is your ex Donald Trump?

AnnListersBlister · 04/06/2026 12:02

friedaddedchilli · 03/06/2026 21:02

Honestly, this sounds hilarious though. Lea de Laria pole dancing...

To be honest, yes it is! 😂

It just looks, wrong? 😆maybe I am being judgmental but at that age, projecting that image with that appearance, it just doesn't gel with the bopping about and provocative dancing and showing off(not that she's anything to show off about, and I DO wish she'd stop flexing. She has muscles like knots in cotton).

I am a gym rat, my biceps are bigger than my boobs but I am not a complete twat, so I don't go around flexing at people)!

She love bombed me for months, I wasn't looking for a relationship and told her this. After a few months of this, we met up as a group and we were actually attracted to one another and I felt that perhaps I was being a bit silly, maybe I was missing out on something good just because I was settled into single life.

We dated and then after just a few weeks, she began finding fault and nitpicking everything I did, turned very nasty on me over a few very small supposed misdemeanors of mine, spread some very nasty rumours about me including that I had physically hurt her, then dumped me.

I was actually quite relieved as I could see where the whole thing would've headed if she hadn't. I learned later that she already had another woman (younger, with children, Father just died=vulnerable) lined up and ex left her in pretty much the same way, then she had someone else.. I found out that she had form for this type of behaviour, going back years, just a bit too late.

I had also leant her about £1400 when her car needed work (yes I know, I am an idiot, shout it louder for the ones at the back) and she was, to her credit, paying me back in installments. When the last one came through at just after midnight, I happened to be still awake and I blocked her on everything within a few seconds of receipt of it . But now and again a friend will see her doing this whole flexing lip-synching dancing thing and will show me for a bit of a laugh. I am very glad I got out relatively unscathed, or should I say, very glad she saw that I wasn't going to worship her unconditionally and left me to pursue her 'sport' of other more susceptible women. I just really do hope she learns her lesson (that is, that she isn't god's gift and nobody is going to treat her like she is at their own expense!) and stops hurting people.

Beaniebobbins · 04/06/2026 12:00

When clearing out his belongings after finding out about his long term infidelity I found a pair of tight leather trousers. He is 53 😬

Summerhillsquare · 04/06/2026 11:58

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 03/06/2026 15:55

My ex got an “only god can judge me” tattoo, posted it to Facebook and my dad tried to send it me with the message “lol what a fucking knob”. But because he’s older and tec illiterate he shared it, with the caption “lol what a fucking knob” and tagged me in it. Dad no longer tries to use Facebook 😭.

I think I love your Dad!

LovelifeHa · 04/06/2026 11:56

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 03/06/2026 15:55

My ex got an “only god can judge me” tattoo, posted it to Facebook and my dad tried to send it me with the message “lol what a fucking knob”. But because he’s older and tec illiterate he shared it, with the caption “lol what a fucking knob” and tagged me in it. Dad no longer tries to use Facebook 😭.

That made me howl laughing😂I think your dad should post more often 😂

S210873 · 04/06/2026 11:50

ThatCyanCat · 04/06/2026 11:43

That's surely assault. Take it further.

Yes, I’m on the case. It’s been reported to my GP who advised me to contact CAB. I’m too scared to report to the police because he’s a nasty person when he gets angry and struggles to control his emotions.

TheSquashyHatofMrGnosspelius · 04/06/2026 11:49

liamharha · 03/06/2026 18:18

Told our 14 year old daughter he had a new daughter now so didn't need to see her

😮

Seagoats · 04/06/2026 11:44

I binned him because he lied about drinking ( ex alcoholic) after kicking him out he said there was a bag of his in the loft, which seemed odd. So of course I had a nosey. It had a his sized set of all the underwear hes ever got me, his sized suspenders and a man sized snow white type costume.
To see him you would have never in a million years guessed.
I did my best poker face handing it over. I hope he still wonders if I looked

ThatCyanCat · 04/06/2026 11:43

S210873 · 04/06/2026 11:14

He denied doing drugs but then sent a photo of him doing them to a WhatsApp parent group. He recently picked up my son by one leg and dropped him on the ground after a football tackle, claiming he was the big man around there. He’s 6 6ft 3, and my son is 9 years old, approx. 4 ft 11 ish . What an insecure bully! I had words. My son had a mark on his face from the floor. So many things have happened, he previously called my son a liar once when he said he was in pain. A nasty piece of work.

That's surely assault. Take it further.

Crikeyalmighty · 04/06/2026 11:42

HollaHolla · 04/06/2026 11:04

My ex must be sailing pretty close to the wind on that. He's taken to supporting all of the Robinson/Farage/Reform shit, bad-mouthing people of colour, and basically just calling people 'cu*ts'.
Surely he wasn't this bad when I was with him? Maybe I tempered his worst impulses? (I'm also mixed race...)

I always think of the poor wives and GFs of these aggressive hate filled unkempt yobs, often middle aged or relatively elderly - some are just as bad themselves but most are not -and I’m sure many feel ‘stuck’

BudgetBuster · 04/06/2026 11:16

HelenaWaiting · 04/06/2026 10:20

By the time they returned the police were waiting and Social Services had applied for a care order. Apparently there were other issues. Got him on a long-term foster.

You are amazing! 👏

ChrisLW · 04/06/2026 11:16

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

One morning mine sent me a text to inform me that she had an STI and that I should get checked out and have a chat with my new girlfriend. Later, the evening of that day she text me to tell me she was only joking. Luckily I was still trying to figure out how to bring the subject up with my new girlfriend and hadn't yet told her. I did however tell her about it all once ide calmed down a bit.

Sunnydaysarehereagain2026 · 04/06/2026 11:15

Omg I forgot about The Car... We had a car each and a van type one for his work.. In the divorce we got our own car each and he kept the van.... After a pretty gruelling day in court the judge asked how I intended to pay the 4k fines associated with the van. Exh was smirking as he left the court room. When I explained to the judge I had the divorce paperwork to confirm who kept which cars he was satisfied the fines weren't mine to pay..
Exh declared himself bankrupt.. And he lost our court case too!!

S210873 · 04/06/2026 11:14

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

He denied doing drugs but then sent a photo of him doing them to a WhatsApp parent group. He recently picked up my son by one leg and dropped him on the ground after a football tackle, claiming he was the big man around there. He’s 6 6ft 3, and my son is 9 years old, approx. 4 ft 11 ish . What an insecure bully! I had words. My son had a mark on his face from the floor. So many things have happened, he previously called my son a liar once when he said he was in pain. A nasty piece of work.

Katemax82 · 04/06/2026 11:09

pinkyredrose · 03/06/2026 18:28

Your father is minted but you couldn't afford bread? Did he not help you out?

Glad the plan worked though.

Her father was lying

clearlyy · 04/06/2026 11:08

MotherofTerriers · 03/06/2026 15:03

Hid the anal lube he kept for his secret girlfriend in our kids Harry Potter trivia game box.

I beg your finest pardon that is rank

HollaHolla · 04/06/2026 11:04

FastnetLundyRockall · 03/06/2026 15:27

He became such a far right abusive troll he got banned from Twitter / X, which given the general appalling sewage scum environment on Twitter is saying something

My ex must be sailing pretty close to the wind on that. He's taken to supporting all of the Robinson/Farage/Reform shit, bad-mouthing people of colour, and basically just calling people 'cu*ts'.
Surely he wasn't this bad when I was with him? Maybe I tempered his worst impulses? (I'm also mixed race...)