What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

Changed his name to Antonio because he thought it made him sound ‘enigmatic’. He’s from Carmarthen with zero Spanish ancestry.

This paints an absolute picture 😂

There are some awful stories on here but some very entertaining ones too. It’s the best thread I have read in a long time.

Ex from years ago telling his new girlfriend (literally started seeing her 2 weeks after I dumped him) that he had to come back to stay at our house as I wasn't coping with the dog / housework, very much painting himself as the poor put upon ex trying to be the bigger person when I had begged him for help. Cue her ranting about how lazy and incompetent I was etc etc.

Reader it wasn't 'our' house it was my house (in my sole name, paid for by me, we were never married he paid me rent and never built up a beneficial interest in the property). I was also 'coping' just fine with the dog (as I always had). I only know this because I let him in, supposedly so he could collect some of his stuff and he fell asleep on the sofa. I wouldn't usually stoop to snooping on someone's phone but he's been an abusive twat to me at times and knowledge is power and read the text exchange. Absolute prick

😆😆 what on earth was he on 😆

'Splenda Daddy' is an industry term used by Sugar Babies. I like it 😆

I have told this before, but an ex of mine had a habit of seldom wearing any clothes in the house. Would often walk about wearing an (open) manky toweling grey dressing gown. Sometimes socks. Sometimes one sock. Whenever he sat down he'd take it off. (I am gay and he was the last man I was ever with, a long time ago) once told me, after I said I was leaving and would move out as soon as possible, that I would never do better "As when it comes down to it there is no better". He said this with a very serious look on his face, absolutely meant it.

Only thing is, as he said it he got up from where he was sitting at his computer chair to walk across the room. He was naked, and there was a white plastic bag stuck to his arse. Or more accurately, stuck up his arse crack. I was very upset at the time, as this was my final 'I am leaving' after many times of going to and then him changing and improving and me caving in and staying with him, but I could not help but laugh, and also see that as just cementing the fact that leaving was absolutely the right thing to do! 😆

Yes my ex has a picture of the children he hasn't seen for nearly two years (his choice) as his Facebook 'banner' or whatever it's called. Pisses me off. Like pretty curtains up in a derelict house, pure window dressing. The kids are teenagers and don't want their image on his page, I think in these circumstances you can ask Facebook to tell him to remove them - using images of minors without their consent? Not sure.

Sent his 70 year old Mum round to shout at me and to try and buy one of my dogs from me, I mean seriously 😦

You are much better off without this horrible man in your life. What is wrong with him

Unknown to me ex borrowed his mates car after being in the pub drinking all afternoon to go & buy the items for a roast dinner he had decided to cook me. He then managed to crash mates car into the back of a pregnant ladies car, drive off & dump the car down a country road so his mate could report it stolen as he was drunk & then turned up at my Dad's house (where I lived) with bags of grocery's & screaming at me as this was all obviously my fault!

My heart was broken by a very handsome Italian when I was 21. However this was someone who wore a vest in the evening in 32 degree heat because his mamma told him to.

I appreciate this pales in comparison to many MN stories but I had an ex who sat texting another woman while I was sitting next to him. Even in my 20s I though this was beyond the pale so I finished with him.

A Prince of Fathers eh!

His intitals aren't TR are they?

My ex got with a woman 2 hours after we broke up (swore blind he hadn't been shagging her behind my back)

Plastered pictures all over fb,made one his profile picture and deleted me off facebook once he knew id seen them

Thing is-she was gorgeous,a real stunner

He looked like a pervy hobbit next to her

I saw them (in person) when they walked past me and dp in the street about 6 months later and they both looked miserable

She finished it and within a few days he had another woman on his fb-a carbon copy of the last picture with another stunning woman on his arm (apparently-a mutual friend told me this)

They broke up and he changed his pictures again-rinse and repeat for the last 11 years

And the best bit is,he keeps his ex wife (who he has two kids with) on his fb and is convinced shes jealous of his string of women and is gagging to have him back

I know her-shes just glad to be shot of him and we both pity all his other women

He's a sad sap who cannot be without a woman on his arm but thinks hes gorgeous (hes not) but does have enough charm to hook them in but not enough to keep them

He contacted the DWP anonymously (but I knew it was him) to say I was claiming PIP fraudulently. Weeks of Hell before they dismissed it as vexatious. At the same time he also contacted my landlady to tell her I was a druggie and had moved a boyfriend in etc etc. She was so concerned ABOUT ME that she sent the police to do a welfare check to make sure he hadn't harmed me.

Later, after he had been warned by the police to keep out of the area where I lived and because he was blocked on all forums by me, he contacted my DD - who he KNEW was traumatised by sexual assault - to complain that he hadn't even been able to use her as wank fodder or fantasise about her while having sex with me because she was too fat - which she isn't but that's irrelevant - and told her to tell me he had images and video of me naked etc that he was going to put on the Internet .
(if he had such images he got them with hidden cameras or by photoshop). When the police called him to warn him revenge porn was illegal the officer was stunned by his response. Apparently, rather than denying he would ever do such a thing/say he didn't mean it etc. he said "Oh I didn't know it was illegal" The officer who told me this was a bit "WTF?" I wasn't even surprised.

Insisted he must have “the wedding cutlery” in the divorce because his aunt had bought it 18 years previously.

He literally took the cutlery out of the kitchen drawer leaving the kids with nothing to eat their tea with.

Is it Welsh?

Everyday I think of something worse that he's done. 🤣🤣🤣 He's such a stupid twat 🫣

pahahah oh god that wins

You're amazing

Mine got his kids names covered 🫣

For real ?? .so glad that nany was safe with you

(bear in mind this was late 1999) I was a new girlfriend of a few weeks only, so I didn't have the Ex Wifes number. I was brassic, I didn't drive; the house's land line had been cut off. I only had a decrepit pay-as-you-go Nokia with zero credit on it as I had lent him some money rather than top up my phone. It didn't occur to me, at the time, to call the police because it wasn't an emergency.

What makes this so much worse - when he did come back, he was entirely unapologetic. Lied about everything that happened, rewrote it in his head as a complete 'misunderstanding' and then got absolutely furious when I didn't accept his behaviour, explanation or his ' apology'.

At the time, it was so wild because we were still heavy in the honeymoon phase, and all my previous dealings with him had been him being an absolutely lovely, thoughtful, wonderful human being. But as they say, when they show you, they are belive them.

Ha ha - @youlied I remember your thread about that. What a prize fanny he was / is.

When he was cheating he gifted the OW a framed calligraphy copy of Seamus Heaney’s “Scaffolding” poem that I had chosen on our Wedding day.
He wasn’t particularly bright, but thought that because they worked in the Construction team, that it was romantic and painted him as clever.
When we split, I sent her a picture of the poem via text and stated that I had chosen it on our Wedding Day.
It was the only time I ever contacted her!! Nothing screams romance like recycling wedding poem!

I appreciate that I am a lesbian (biased against naked blokes perhaps) but 😣