What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

This is very outing. I accidentally spilt a bit of nail polish remover on his coffee table. We'd been together about a year and I'd moved in. At the time i was mortified and very apologetic, it took some of the top layer of varnish off the table. Obviously offered to pay towards a new one etc which he "graciously" refused. we lasted another year beyond that.

About 18 months after we broke up I received an email asking me to pay for a new coffee table. he'd calculated the "new" cost of the table given inflation in the 2.5 years since I'd damaged it, and so his "invoice" was actually for more than he'd initially paid.

obvs refused.... and sent his email to all of my friends for a good ol' laugh!

He also proposed to me, after we'd broken up, via my work email, in all caps.

I cannot believe some of my past relationship stories. feel like I could write a book, but then again no one would think it was true!

Told me his ex was a psycho and had fallen pregnant to trap him, he said she’d like an other being on the pill and she was a one night stand.

After we split up, I found out it was all bollocks. They were still together (overlapped us for three months) and it was a planned pregnancy, they’d also been others way longer than he told me as they’d been trying for months!

It completely shaped my life. I would never have gone near him if I’d known the truth.

He’s also the same bell end who got in touch after the first marriage after me broke down “because I was the only one who understood him” sadly I fell for it and spent months supporting him through that divorce only for him to then start dating the second one! I finally came to my senses at that point and told him to fuck off! And never contact me again!

This is years and years ago - he rang me the night before his wedding to the woman he left me for to ask if I’d get back with him! I politely declined told him to fuck off, much to his surprise. He married her, divorced a year later.

Said if he had to pay maintainance he just wouldnt see the kids or go to work .....

I GASPED…

What an utter cunt. I’m so sorry x

Unfortunately.

I read this one 18 full pages and 36 hours ago and I am STILL cringing 😂

And I've read the PP whose Dad posted "lol what a fucking knob" by 'accident' about a thousand times already and I still laugh every time. Truly legendary.

@HelenaWaiting You are one of life's beautiful people x

Being a male, I would take full advantage of that. Most blokes would.

OK. Another knobhead/violent-physical-emotional-abuser/story.

Not long after I started divorce proceedings he was arrested. A couple of days later, after he'd been released, he came 'round as he wanted to take away the very expensive and brand newTV that he's recently bought. He dropped it going down the front steps and damaged it.

Total, Utter, Absolute JOY. This made me very happy!

We (myself and the children) were left with appliances from the early 1990s. Did we care? Nope!

🤣🤣 he should have dome that while he still lived with you so you didn't have to see him 😅

Mine became a spiritual healer and Reiki Master... Absolute cock end who didn't ever pay for his children, abused us whilst being all 'spiritual'... He also did a interview in the paper with a whole made up life..... Utterly bizarre.

I've gone from laughter, to cheering, to sighing reading this thread 😂😳😮

I went on a few dates with a guy when I was 30 and he was 31. I should’ve bailed when he took me to McDonald’s on our first date but that wasn’t the wankiest thing. He sent me an unsolicited photo of his micro penis despite us never getting to the intimate stage of a relationship so I politely told him we wouldn’t go any further, then he panicked and got a mutual acquaintance to phone pretending to be police threatening me, if I dared tell anyone that he had a micro penis I’d be arrested. When I laughed at that statement, he paid someone who he did end up dating to write on our local pub walls that he was a great shag - again because he was worried I’d tell everyone about his micro penis. I never mentioned his penis to anyone . I was embarrassed for him reacting the way he did to sending his unsolicited dick pick but I also have to wonder about the women he persuaded to do his bidding afterwards as he wasn’t good looking and didn’t have a nice personality.

Breathes in and out...... repeatedly 🙈

You absolute superstar and totally wonderful human !! Xx

WTAF!!!

That is horrific. What a vile nasty excuse for a human he is. I’m so sorry @Isometimeswonder

Not remotely saintly. He's a genuinely lovely kid - well, man now.

So when I found out I'd been dumped on I called the police. Social Services visited me (several times) and asked could he remain in situ until they spoke to the parents. I said yes because it felt right that he was with his half-brothers and, frankly, he was no trouble. To cut a long story short, they'd been dumping him with whoever would have him, there were accusations of neglect (all this came out in Child Protection meetings). They split up whilst all this was going on, she got sectioned, he refused to step up and my short-term foster became a long-term.

😂😂😂

Well last week he had a brand new iPad he’d bought for his gf delivered to my house on the same day he’d yet again not paid maintenance as he ‘couldn’t afford it’ . The iPad was to get onto his gfs good books after she’d recently found out he’d been seeing 3 other women during their 2 year relationship .

To her absolute credit the gf sold the iPad the following day and paid me the balance maintenance I was owed .

Lighthearted? Get a load of space/nasa themed tattoos on one arm when he has no connection to space/engineering/nasa, and a huge king of hearts on the other. I saw them and immediately wanted to laugh at the absurdity/irony.

On a more serious note; Continuously centre every new girlfriend and make his children feel unimportant. Each time they are ‘The One’ and ‘it’s different this time’. He’s currently engaged to someone he works with that he’s known less than 6 months, and is all but estranged from his own children because they questioned how fast he was moving, so he’s playing Super Dad with her kids and not having any contact with his actual kids.

Fuckwit.

I just remembered this one and it's the cringest thing I've ever seen anyone do.

This was more of a Fwb/mate. One of those types who pretended he was a rock star. He had a mate who was much younger and thinner and used to borrow his clothes and stretch them and look preposterous. He was always posing in the mirror like knob.

Anyway, me, him and this friend went on a trip to a city abroad. It was the times when we used disposable cameras. I took loads of pics and eagerly awaited looking at them once I collected them from boots.

This mate acted a bit weird about the photos, he was really vain so I expected him to be desperate to see them. But instead he tried to avoid even looking.

The day I got them printed I left them out and went to the shop. Didn't think much more of it until I got the photos out again to have another look.

I realised that this guy has gone through the whole set, and on each one of him, he'd drawn over his bald spot with a fucking biro??! It was so obvious I nearly cried with embarrassment on his behalf.

I hadn't the heart to even say anything to him about it. 🤣🤣🤣

Mine now has long hair, a long goaty beard and walks around shoeless. Looks like a right twat given he's mid 50s. He's a nasty little narcissistic emotional abuser pretending to be new age. He's just fucked up yet another relationship. I, in the other hand, am happily married to a lovely man. Karma.