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What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

933 replies

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

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7
Zanatdy · 21/06/2026 19:22

Marry a relative stranger when working overseas and then expecting his DC to play happy families when he brings her and her teenage son over to the UK. As you can imagine, that lasted 5mins before DD (15 at the time and entering GCSE year) refused to go there anymore. Which is exactly what I told him would happen. I was flabbergasted as although he’s always been a bit selfish, I never thought he would do something like that and he went right down in my estimation.

ForeverTheOptomist · 21/06/2026 19:08

Still think (fucking) existing.

EvieBB · 19/06/2026 21:31

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/06/2026 15:36

I am racking my brain to think of the SM site that preceded FaceBook, but all my poor, aged brain can come up with is Only Connect, and I know it wasn’t that, @PyongyangKipperbang. Was it Friends Connect, or something similar?

Friends Reunited if my memory serves me correctly 🤔☺️

TheGhostOfYouAndMe · 19/06/2026 19:35

AInightingale · 04/06/2026 15:47

Yes my ex has a picture of the children he hasn't seen for nearly two years (his choice) as his Facebook 'banner' or whatever it's called. Pisses me off. Like pretty curtains up in a derelict house, pure window dressing. The kids are teenagers and don't want their image on his page, I think in these circumstances you can ask Facebook to tell him to remove them - using images of minors without their consent? Not sure.

This seems to be a theme. My ex has a photo of our daughter on his cover photo on Facebook that he hasn’t seen in 3 years and doesn’t bother with!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/06/2026 16:59

Thank you, @PyongyangKipperbang - I knew my foggy brain was letting me down!

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/06/2026 16:21

MY space, Bebo, and MSN

MossMystery · 19/06/2026 15:57

Myspace was the first big one if I remember rightly

Although I don't think @Doggymummar meant her 30 year figure to be taken quite so literally!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/06/2026 15:37

I’ve got it - Friends Reunited! That went on to become FB, didn’t it?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/06/2026 15:36

I am racking my brain to think of the SM site that preceded FaceBook, but all my poor, aged brain can come up with is Only Connect, and I know it wasn’t that, @PyongyangKipperbang. Was it Friends Connect, or something similar?

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/06/2026 12:17

DixonD · 19/06/2026 10:16

There was no social media 30 years ago - that was 1996! The internet had barely taken off at that point.

Just because FB didnt exist doesnt mean that there wasnt SM! Life didnt start on the stroke of midnight 2000!

DixonD · 19/06/2026 10:16

Doggymummar · 03/06/2026 21:09

Mine (15years divorced after 10ywar years relationship) still has the same profile picture across social media as he had when we met ,. Him at 30. Hes 60 in December. If he's online dating it will be his dating profile too

There was no social media 30 years ago - that was 1996! The internet had barely taken off at that point.

BreadedChickenLips · 17/06/2026 18:23

JuliettaCaeser · 15/06/2026 18:00

There are some extremely disturbing behaviours on this thread! Feel bad about rejecting my man who lived in Weston super mare who was otherwise nice!

My ex had a regional accent that pronounced my name in a really irritating way. Think dropping the H in Helen. He left me a voicemail and it jarred so much I dumped him!

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/06/2026 18:16

JuliettaCaeser · 15/06/2026 23:11

I find it really depressing and not somewhere I would want to live. Certainly not at 25! I went to central London instead so stand by my choices!

Fair enough! I was just curious as they all seem to love it there....they are quite enmeshed though imo!

theallypallywasp · 17/06/2026 16:10

youlied · 05/06/2026 00:12

Mine did exactly the same!!!! It was places I introduced him to as well! Idiot

Mine too! Showing his girlfriend "authentic Spain". what a prick.

TheGhostOfYouAndMe · 16/06/2026 19:52

Suzanne678 · 04/06/2026 00:29

I'm a huge Bruce Springsteen fan. My ex put up pictures of him and his new girlfriend on Instagram with Thunder Road as the music.
He probably didn't realise that he was telling her that she ain't a beauty but, hey, that's alright. He did a lot worse in his time but that amused me.

Huge Bruce fan here too and this made me laugh. As soon as I read Thunder Road, my brain went “She ain’t a beauty, but hey she’s alright!” 😂

JuliettaCaeser · 15/06/2026 23:11

I find it really depressing and not somewhere I would want to live. Certainly not at 25! I went to central London instead so stand by my choices!

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/06/2026 21:08

JuliettaCaeser · 15/06/2026 18:00

There are some extremely disturbing behaviours on this thread! Feel bad about rejecting my man who lived in Weston super mare who was otherwise nice!

Not that you need a reason to stop seeing someone but I am curious.....whats wrong with Weston?! My BIL's family are there and the only issue is the traffic getting there sometimes!

ForeverTheOptomist · 15/06/2026 19:05

.... exist?

JuliettaCaeser · 15/06/2026 18:00

There are some extremely disturbing behaviours on this thread! Feel bad about rejecting my man who lived in Weston super mare who was otherwise nice!

theallypallywasp · 15/06/2026 16:27

Over40Overdating · 03/06/2026 19:25

‘Accidentally’ sent me a selfie that was meant for his much younger OW who prided herself on being very alternative - him in a suit so tight every seam was screaming for its life, with a top hat and skull tipped cane, covered in eyeliner, referring to himself as master. With a text that said he had ordered a box with a handle so they could take her pet snake to the pub.

I sent back a crying laughing emoji and said RIP to the suit, it put up a good fight but was no match for his giant arse and stomach and I hoped the snake would escape and find a home with people who were not gobshites.

In her defence she was 23 and very immature. He was 43.

I still hope the snake ran away.

This is one of the best things I have ever heard 😂

somethingnewandexciting · 13/06/2026 09:32

Same ex who's first warning was the board tip turned up on my doorstep when CMS as it was then had been calling his mobile because he was refusing to pay child support and hanging up on them. They of course then began calling his work. All I knew at the time was he was over 7 months in arrears and nothing was happening and he had literally disappeared. Only he decided to hang out in my porch so that when I got back from work one day he was there (with a weekend bag) immediately began crying and begging me to "stop the CMS!" - apparently they (I) had forced him to drink so heavily through stress he had developed liver disease and one more drink would kill him! If I didn't make them stop he would DIE and I would be arrested for MANSLAUGHTER.
It was £20pw out of his £60k salary FGS.

somethingnewandexciting · 13/06/2026 09:32

Same ex who's first warning was the board tip turned up on my doorstep when CMS as it was then had been calling his mobile because he was refusing to pay child support and hanging up on them. They of course then began calling his work. All I knew at the time was he was over 7 months in arrears and nothing was happening and he had literally disappeared. Only he decided to hang out in my porch so that when I got back from work one day he was there (with a weekend bag) immediately began crying and begging me to "stop the CMS!" - apparently they (I) had forced him to drink so heavily through stress he had developed liver disease and one more drink would kill him! If I didn't make them stop he would DIE and I would be arrested for MANSLAUGHTER.
It was £20pw out of his £60k salary FGS.

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/06/2026 19:38

AcrossthePond55 · 12/06/2026 19:17

Oh, I just remembered one!

When a particular ex broke up with me I was devastated. He gently took my hand and said "I'm sorry and I hope that you don't feel like committing suicide over me". As if! I tell you, that dried my tears right up and healed my broken heart instantly. I was so gobsmacked I just sat there gaping at him.

I didn't know the term 'wanker' back then being in the US. But if I had I would have spat it at him with venom.

Wow, that is next level ego!!

AcrossthePond55 · 12/06/2026 19:17

Oh, I just remembered one!

When a particular ex broke up with me I was devastated. He gently took my hand and said "I'm sorry and I hope that you don't feel like committing suicide over me". As if! I tell you, that dried my tears right up and healed my broken heart instantly. I was so gobsmacked I just sat there gaping at him.

I didn't know the term 'wanker' back then being in the US. But if I had I would have spat it at him with venom.

Modpopcom · 12/06/2026 13:47

My ex had a history of contacting my employers and demanding I be given time off work. On one occasion, she called my HR department and senior management, swearing at them because I had been refused leave to attend a routine hospital appointment with my stepchild due to staffing shortages. Although I apologised to my employer, the incident was recorded and caused significant embarrassment.

I was then told informed by her ex that she done it to him as well

The following day, my ex told me the child needed emergency surgery and insisted I travel to Manchester immediately. After discussing the situation with my manager, I travelled there, only to discover there was no emergency admission or surgery. The child was well, and the hospital simply advised avoiding certain drinks. This incident nearly cost me my job.

Around the same time, my company was restructuring and I had to reapply for my management position. The previous incidents were raised, and I was unsuccessful, resulting in a demotion from management to a team leader role.
A few weeks later, while working from home, our internet cable was damaged. Although it appeared our new puppy had caused the damage, concerns arising from previous incidents led to disciplinary action and a further demotion to a call centre agent. My employer also expressed concerns that I may have been in an abusive relationship.

I eventually began working from my sister’s house and secured a new role elsewhere. However, after the relationship ended and my ex had moved into a mates Bungalow, she contacted my new employer and falsely alleged that I had assaulted her and that police were involved. As a result, I was suspended from that position.

By the point i knew it was time to stop the relationship. and block on everything.

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