Am I alone?

Ah he would love that. Not sure if the surrounding clientele would want to see his feet though!

This

I didn’t, we got the train as my husband was working in the Netherlands at the time so we met at Brussels. It was easier that way.

If you want to have a little giggle at your brother take him to Dulle Griet for his beer. They make you hand over a shoe as a glass deposit 😂

There's something very Prufrockian about this thread.

OP, even though you live rurally I imagine there are people around who share your interests. Some people stick to lighter subjects during small talk with people they don't really know- it doesn't follow that these are the extent of their interests. I'm extremely interested in historical linguistics but I wouldn't open with it at a dinner party. If you get to know people better, you might find they have interests in common with yours and modes of being that aren't just light social chat. Reading, in particular, is not a niche interest. Why not join a book club?

I'm not sitting watching Love Island myself and refuse to engage in conversations about dieting, so am probably not entirely representative of my gender and generation either

@Bigtrapeze Love Island gets about 2 million views per episode- the vast majority of people don't watch it. Likewise most people don't talk about dieting. These are just sexist, ageist stereotypes.

I have an English Literature first degree and Masters and read voraciously. I go to the (serious) theatre, galleries, museums, lectures, am a charity trustee. I have never felt the need to ‘make myself small’. I am interested in people, I admire their passions and expertise, be it needlework or rugby coaching, and appreciate the variety around me. What a dull old world it would be if everyone was like me.

I find people respond in kind. I hope I can talk about my enthusiasms in a lively way and I can listen with equal respect. I think you should open your mind a bit as you’re missing out on finding out more about the world.

And although I’m not an avid TV watcher, I do love a bit of Race Across the World and looking at paint colours. And what’s the harm in that?

If you want to speak in person who like similar things to you and the people. In your current social circles don't share those interests you will need to do something to meet those people there are plenty of book clubs, WI or whatever. If you live rurally then you'll need to look up the closest ones and get your husband to drive you there or taxi or whatever. You're not going to convince your current social circle to appreciate the same things you like anymore then they're going to convince you to like sports

I see what you're saying but I don't think it's that straight-forward. I think that a lot of people don't have 'real' hobbies and interests - they're simply chasing dopamine. So, the redecorating thing, they're bored with what they have and just want the hit from buying something and changing it. It isn't about a real interest in interior design - it's a symptom of their boredom and a very shallow interest. They don't know about interior design in any depth or detail - they just fancy a change. Just like the endless scrolling on social media - it's all about the dopamine hit. I think it can be the same owith some people that go to the gym with their main aim being to look aesthetically pleasing - they aren't doing it for deeper reasons, it's more shallow than that. But then other people are going because it makes them feel good (mentally & physically), or they want to get better at certain skills/technique and or be competitive against others...or maybe just socialise. Some people are into travel because want a tan, or to tick countries off a list and gather stamps in their passport - that can seem shallow. But the reasons for travel are endless: new experiences, tasting and learning to cook different cuisines, learning about cultures and religions...or just needing a break from the ratrace and some perspective on your version of 'normal'.

Our reasons for doing things can be shallow - and simply for fun. It can be a bit of a bore having to ascribe deeper meaning to everything! Maybe your problem is small talk? It's definitely a skill and you are making big assumptions about people and their interests.

That's uncanny! I think it's called the Post and Porter's House now and it was our first choice. However I am not sharing a king bed with my brother ha ha, and for our dates, there were no twin rooms available. But we will go down and have a look at it anyway. Staying in a more mundane place but near the Korenmarkt and not far from the river.

The whole city looks unreal and I am so looking forward to seeing it. Did you do a river cruise, I'm thinking of a walking tour while bro sits on a terrace having some great Belgian beer! He is not that great on the pins, with two new knees! But he is doing the driving when we head off to Flanders so all is forgiven. I'm navigating and have a list of places to see around Ypres, so it could be a Mrs. Bucket and Richard situation in the car. 😊

I’m both well educated and reasonably intellectual. Her post certainly did skirt very close to the line, even if it didn’t cross over it. I could almost see an arched eyebrow and a small smirk, as she tutted and shook her head.

Everyone has their own interests. I have zero interest in pop culture or reality TV such as Married At First Sight. I’m also not interested in ever changing our home once this (very much needed) renovation is done. However, I appreciate that other people love these things and may not like things I enjoy. Neither of our interests are better than the others and, as long as you don’t harm others, fill your boots however you wish! That’s the joy of life 😊

I'm not sitting watching Love Island myself and refuse to engage in conversations about dieting, so am probably not entirely representative of my gender and generation either, but I don't think one way of spending time is morally better than any other.

I love reading and do it to the exclusion of lots of other things, perhaps, but it is no better than watching TV/scrolling social media/decorating. I like it more but it isn't better in any way.

Time is going to tick past either way and I think the idea of 'spending it well' is false. You've only got one life:spend it well according to your own tastes. I won't be spending it watching reality TV or in a shopping centre but prefer running, reading, watching live music and spending time in pubs with friends which isn't better or worse in any way. I just like it more.

There's no winners in terms of hobbies and pastimes. It is nice, personally speaking, that I have friends and a spouse who share my interests but people vary in terms of how much social interaction they prefer, and that's okay too. It would be interminably dull and restrictive if we were all alike, wouldn't it?

I think people are different and thats ok.
I dont think you are alone in not being interested in travel,sport or popular culture,
Life is huge and its up to you what interests you!

What exactly are your interests?

Absolutely. But I wasn't talking about myself, I said you seem educated and intellectual and some will say that's per definition being snobbish. I disagree.

You agreed wholeheartedly with a post that was sneering at people who are interested in interior design - as if that means they can't be interested in anything else - and you literally said very clearly that people who don't read for pleasure must have enormous amounts of empty time, as if you imagine there isn't anything else worth doing. You even admitted that it would be an 'unpopular opinion' so I'd have thought you had a good idea of what you were implying.

But I'll take your disclaimer in good faith and proceed on that basis.

I'm still rather unclear as to what 'quiet things' are. I don't think popular culture is any less quiet than anything else, is it?

Maybe you need to think a bit more openly, rather than trying to categorise things quite as rigidly as you do, if you really do want to find people you have more common ground with.

For example, you say you aren't interested in 'popular culture' but you mention, for instance, that you 'watch a lot of Walter Presents'. That is popular culture :) It's TV drama. The fact that it's not in English doesn't mean it's not popular culture.

Similarly 'travel' - you might not like to travel, but a lot of people who do will have had all sorts of experiences that are likely relevant to things you do like. History and culture are often the main motive for travelling - certainly for me.

Same with sport, actually - obviously people banging on about the intricacies of football tactics is dull to anyone who doesn't like football (or any sport; I'm just using football as an example) but there's an awful lot about football across the world that has fascinating historic, cultural and political connections.

If you're of the mindset that 'travel, sport and popular culture' are essentially 'package holidays to Tenerife, Match of the Day and Celebrity Love Island', that's probably not helping matters when it comes to connecting with people.

For what it's worth, my partner and I both have some very niche interests and we're both very introverted and value solitude. I do get what it's like to have interests that people around you don't share. But it doesn't have to isolate you if you think a bit more flexibly, and curiously, about things.

You also mention that other people might find you intense. By that, do you mean that you tend to fixate on the things you're interested in and want make them the sole focus of your conversation? Because that seems more about personality type than the interests themselves.

Well, I'm not sure I understand exactly the point of your thread. People enjoy a wide variety of interests, some not to your taste. And. . .?

I'm a writer and an academic. Reading and writing are crucial to my career but I also choose to spend my free time engaged in these pursuits. In addition, I love travel, music, films, animals, architecture, politics, art, clothes, interior design, and a lot of other things. I really enjoy discovering a musician I've never heard before or visiting a city or country that is new to me. The people I enjoy spending time with most are those who are open to new experiences and curious about the world.

Of course, there are many activities or hobbies that I've no interest in. But if a friend is passionate about something, I'm delighted to hear about it. Sometimes that has led me to take up new interests that I never imagined I'd engage in. Though sometimes I am more than happy to just experience their hobbies vicariously. Skydiving, for instance. 😱

I think WartFace, that if you did admit (as I do) to friends that sport, pop TV or whatever isn't your cup of tea, you would in fact find that it doesn't matter in the least. I believe that people like me more not less for being myself .
I would also be most upset if I thought a friendship meant pretending to like Bake Off or not even worse not enjoying my company because I love Digging for Britain!
Celebrate these different things, ask questions, make suggestions , someone told me I'd love Downton Abbey because I love history, I assumed I'd hate it (because I love history!). I watched it & love it . Big lesson to myself!