Could you still hold a grudge against someone from primary school?

Absolutely. You may well have made her life a total misery.

She remembers things differently to you.

It’s interesting. I met our school bully as an adult and she told me a story of how SHE had been bullied at school. That’s not my recollection of it at all. Memory is an odd thing and sometimes people “tidy them up” in order to live with themselves. Maybe that’s what happened here? (I mean with the woman in the shop, not you, to be clear! )

Thankfully I never had such experiences. (Some kids tried to bully me in secondary school but it didn't work.)

I think that if I had had such experiences, I might well still be affected by them personally but unless the circumstances were exceptional, I don't think I'd hold a grudge against the person for it (might not want to be their friend but that's different). I don't think children can be fully responsible at that age and horrible behaviour then is usually stuff they've picked up from elsewhere and aren't old enough yet to analyse and change it, or understand just how bad it is. You look at primary age children now and I can't accept that their personalities are fully realised enough to mark their entire lives and character. I've changed enough since uni, never mind the early years of school...

I would and do! I still see my child hood bully once a year at a large annual event in the town I grew up in! I wouldn’t speak to her! I wouldn’t storm out of a shop either, I just try to act as though she’s not there! Not always easy as she’s was a nasty piece of work!

Yes! Blamed for something I didn't do ... made by teacher to wash human excrement off clothes/fabric. Really pisses me off when I think about it!

Depends. Are you minimising?
Your "silly playground politics" could be her "that cow made life miserable" and she was thrown seeing your face again.
I can think of two people I really wouldn't want to see again and might have a similar reaction - turning and walking away if I saw them again!
Did she really "storm?"

Slightly different but I still hold a grudge against my primary school headmistress who convinced my very working class parents it would be a good idea for me to take the scholarship to a private grammar school. I was so out of place, hated every day, made no friends because I wasn't like the other girls. She knew it was a mistake but looked good on her CV that she got a girl to that school.
It didn't help that she married my widowed father when I was 18.

Absolutely.

The shits that made my life hell in secondary school will still be the same as they are now, looking back and laughing at ' school japes'.

You see fully grown bullies now in their 40's, 50's and 60's. Can you image them at school?

The only thing that will make an old school bully stop and think is if they have a child at school being bullied now.

I don't think I'd hold a grudge as such. But experiences in primary school still form the foundations of how I see the same people as adults. If they were mean to me then (as a general pattern of behaviour, not some one off argument) then I'd be less inclined to be friendly if we met now. Storming out is extreme.

Yes, wouldn’t recognise her now tho but dislike the name. Also had a teacher that bullied me constantly in front of the class, snide bitchy comments, really had to hold my tounge when everyone was waxing lyrical about her being wonderful on a fb group

Not sure I’d storm out but I’d certainly blank someone completely.

I still hate the girls that bullied me from reception in primary school to year 11 in high school. We all went to the same schools and it has ruined me. I still hate all of them. They ruined how I see friendships and relationships for life. They beat me down and I didn’t want to be alive at 15. I’m 30 now. I still hold that grudge.

Really 😮

Yes I could! This particular one bully was merciless towards me throughout primary and secondary school. He was always a lot bigger than me but hit me all the time until one day I retaliated (sadly I credit school with making me quite good at boxing, which I train in as a hobby). He died suddenly a few years ago and I’d be a hypocrite to feel sad. The bullying I endured from various children, both physically and mentally, has sadly stayed with me and had far reaching consequences, including a huge lack of confidence and probably not achieving nearly as much as I was probably capable of doing..

Yes, Antoinette and Caroline were bitches.

I didn't have any issues in primary. There was an awful girl in my secondary school. I wouldn't run away from her if I saw her now, but I wouldn't spit on her if she was on fire either.

If you have the initials EW and went to a school beginning with the letter M and had a habit of telling girls in the changing room that they were fat, then I hope you've lived the miserable life you deserve.

Yes. And I do.

Hm... this is an interesting spin.

Many people are more able to get over being wronged by someone than over the realisation they wronged someone.

There were threads about people receiving letters from those who bullied them, asking for forgiveness (and making it about themselves once again).

It's not unbelievable that someone would run away from a living reminder of their past sins.

As someone who has a ten year old daughter who is currently dealing with her own version of Natalie, I'll join you on the Natalie hating bandwagon.

This reminds me of a Jeremy Vine (radio 2) phone in. The caller said that she only felt free of her childhood bully when she’d heard he’d died, even though she hadn’t interacted with him for years. That’s the effect the bullying had on her.

I never forget a thing and I'm a pensioner. It changes how I view the person from then on.

Someone stole a foreign coin from me when she played at my house in the 50's! I tackled her about it and she denied it.

She is still a [distant] friend to this day though but I know there is a side to her that isn't 100% honest.

Well red hair is the bonnier of the two so six yr old her was wrong😁

This is the reason why teaching in an all-boys school was much easier than all-girls or mixed schools, boys fall out, having a scrap then it's over, girls, as the comments on this thread show, keep animosity going for ever! That's not only towards other girls but to staff too, tell a girl off in Year 7 and she will still remember it at the end of Year 10!

A bit. I was big for my age and taught never to hit smaller children, but that bloody tiny Denise would keep pinching my upper arms with her nails until they bled whenever she saw me, the besom. About 65 years ago now, but I haven't forgiven or forgotten!