Could you still hold a grudge against someone from primary school?

I was queueing up in M&S to buy some Euros, not taking much notice, getting my purse out etc.
I went to the window, looked up as she said Hi Yoyo.
It was Jill who had made my life a misery at senior School.She was vile, so cruel physically and mentally.Her reason was that I was quiet and clever and she didnt like it and decided to take it out on me.
I eventually reported her, told the Head, and was told it wasn't nice to tell tales about people, so yes I do bear a grudge.
She was so bloody nice to me all chatty and friendly.I was in shock and felt 12 years old again.
There was a queue behind me so I bought them and moved on,but I was so angry.
Why didn't I challenge her, tell her how she had made me feel, I will never know, but I kicked myself all day about not standing up to her.
Bullying is vile and should never be dismissed.

Oh yes.

There are a few girls from my comprehensive school who just couldn’t get over the fact that I wore glasses and wore the wrong clothes and had home cut hair. They made a point of telling me how wrong everything about me was, daily.

There were a couple of other unfortunate untrendy girls who used to get similar treatment.

The bullies put a used condom in one of the untrendy ones bag of if I remember rightly. The useless male teacher just sort of chuckled nervously and did nothing about it.

If you went to SCL comp, and ever picked on other girls - rest assured I’ll get my revenge if I ever get the chance.

ETA sorry you said primary.

Heck yes. I wouldn't stay in proximity to one of my childhood bullies.

No, not from primary school. Maybe secondary if the bullying was really cruel.

These types of “silly girls” don’t stop the bullying just because they grow up.

I have experienced bullying for decades from various women who remind me of my schoolgirl bullies, to the point of seriously disrupting my career.

The attitude that it’s just playground infighting is extremely dangerous. This type of bullying is better stopped early

I shouldn’t, but the impact of their bullying has followed me through much of my life. So I would avoid at all costs. Unless they wanted to apologise, then I might listen

Exactly.

Of course. Bullying has a profound effect on a person. I'd leave too if I saw mine.

Did she ‘storm’ off though or just make a quick exit? Is it OP trying to make her look like the problematic and dramatic one, while playing down her own part in ‘silly school girl politics’? 🤔

I’m curious how do you know she recognised you and stormed out because of it. She could just been having a bad day, nothing to with you at all

That’s terrible and there is no excuse for their disgusting behaviour, I would never have behaved like them at the same age. Let’s hope at least some guilt is eating away at them. Good for you for not letting them appease themselves so easily.

It depends on what went on I suppose. If it was someone really awful I probably would,
but I doubt I’d have such a strong reaction. I’d probably just blank them.

Bullying affects someone for life. It's unforgivable and yes I will hold that grudge until I die. We're decades on and I still wouldn't help them if they were on fire.

The people who bullied me, no I don't hold grudges. The ones who bullied my DDs, you'd better believe I hold a grudge.

Live beef is an amazing phrase

Yes, if I ever saw the wee cow who broke my glasses in 2005 it’s on sight 😭.

I did retaliate on the day by spilling water on her painting during golden time because obviously I couldn’t see what I was doing, but she’s an enemy for life.

To be honest when people have OTT and disproportionate reactions like that over drama from school I just assume they haven’t had much going on in their lives and still live in the past.

I wouldn’t storm out but I surprised myself how strongly I felt at seeing an old school classmate on Friends Reunited (20+ years ago I suspect). She was talking about having a young son and I thought “I hope no one ever makes him feel about himself the way you made me feel” I wouldn’t be interested in a conversation with her so would probably pretend I hadn’t seen her if our paths crossed - which is beyond unlikely 40 years after I left school

Primary or senior 98% of them bullied me and treated me like shit so I would not talk to them even now

I remember girls that were mean at secondary school, not really from primary school. But if I think of the secondary school mean girls…… I believe they are mean, I don’t think they’ve grown out of it. So if I were to see them now I wouldn't trust them or share much. Because, most girls weren’t mean, most girls were nice. So I believe what I see, and if I see meanness, I believe it. I don’t think that’s holding a grudge. It’s learning to avoid what’s bad for you.

While I didn't hold a grudge I did raise eyebrows when one of the few physically violent bullies from secondary towards me - it was mostly not phycial - also a known supporter and liar even to police for a boy who attacked our older sibling putting them in A& E (that boy did eventually end up in prison for other crimes) - was employed as a childminder for both kids of Dsis - and everyone including my parents were fine with it.

I didn't say anything and I'm sure they were great at their job but did have a relived sigh we were far away from the entire area.

Sometimes people change, but I honestly believe that who we are in essence rarely does. I think you can usually tell from childhood behaviour fairly accurately how someone will behave as an adult, in broad terms of 'nice' or 'not'. We all did things as children that we later look back on with regret and could have handled better, but someone who was consistently nasty to me when I was 9 is probably still not someone I want to be friends with.

That said, as an adult, with two or three decades between then and now, I'd at least put on a show of politeness unless they started being nasty to me again.

Stormed out, or just left the shop because she wasn't up for a meeting?

I was bullied at primary by classmates and teachers alike

A lot of it was jealousy because my parents owned their house rather than renting their council houses and we where neglected (my parents had money,they just didnt see why they should spend it on us) so we had secind/third hand clothes or not enough school equipment

My father had big motorbikes and that was another cause of jealousy

Their parents spent money in the pub/on new partners/themselves

The teachers always favoured the pretty,faces that fitted blonde girls and the sporty boys

I had shitty,cut very short dark hair shabby/shit clothes and am dyslexic (which they refused to take into account and bullied me for being thick)

They made my life hell

I will always hold a grudge-those teachers not only didnt stop the bullying,they encouraged it and joined in

One of the teachers made it her mission to befriend my narcissistic mother (who was fully aware about this bitch) and would use my home life against me at school

One of the bullies rewrote history and tried to be my bestie when we gave birth in the same year

When I told her to stuff it,she made a beeline for one of my lifetime friends and pushed me out

I moved away from my home town and if I ever go back and see one,I will slay them

Premenopause is a wonderful thing-i will never be fake nice to them and they will get it with both barrels

I still hold one from the same age towards the girl who told me that I only got to play Mary in the nativity because I had the longest hair and it should've been her role because she was much, much prettier than me.

Having said that I wouldn't storm out of a shop if I saw her but I might start humming Little Donkey. Loudly.