Could you still hold a grudge against someone from primary school?

You have made a huge assumption about her reason for not speaking to you. Personally I have such horrendous anxiety that I go to ‘flight’ mode anything I see someone I know but don’t know - if that makes sense. I can’t do pleasantries I just avoid avoid avoid.

She may have just felt uncomfortable and it had nothing to do with behaviour at P school.

I'm not blaming 40;years of lack of confidence on her but yes it did affect my confidence growing up. Great for you if you could cope with people lying about you and excluding you and still have brilliant confidence growing up. We're not all as lucky as you

well I'd tend more to icy politemess rather than storming out but yes I could hold a grudge for that long without even breaking a sweat.

The thing is OP that what seems minor to you may have had a major effect on the other person.

I hope the bitches that made me hate going to primary school every day rot in hell. One died of alcoholism and another apparently told a friend of mine at their children's schoolgate that she was really sorry for her childhood behaviour because her child was now being bullied and how horrible it all was.

I felt sorry for her son but thought it was great that karma had bitten her on the arse. I think when bullies apologise to their victims later in life it's meaningless, they're doing it to ease their conscience not to help.

I wouldn't storm out if I met them but I would glare and refuse to do smalltalk.

Is it possible that you saw it as normal girls politics but she saw it as you bullying her? Surely you did things too?

I remember a teacher that bullied me, and I’d lay into them now if I met them as adult.

People become un important to me, when they become un important its over.

A grudge is still a feeling I'd rather not have.

Yes, and I do.

It's called self-confidence because you're supposed to be your trust in yourself to achieve things.

Blaming a 6 year old child for 40 years for your lack of confidence in yourself is ridiculous.

I'd try not think about it, because the only person that would harm is me, but there are people I was in primary school who I still know were deliberately cruel because they enjoyed it, and a woman I worked with more than 30 years ago who used bullying and manipulation to advance her career ambitions who I would rather not ever meet again.

The most important thing is to not be like them, and to offer support if you see someone falling foul of bullies.

But you'll never un-see it.

Yes. If the last impression you had of a person was in primary school when they were nasty to you, then that's what you're going to think about them to this day.

I was falling out with my best friend a lot in primary school, we've both been nasty to each other at times, but as we carried on being friends and grew as individuals together, any old grudges are long forgotten.

Jenny who drew silly faces on my homework age 9 so the teacher told me off, and I've not seen since? I totally hold a grudge.

I can and do
I would not storm out of anywhere though, I would ignore and if approached treat them like the scum they are

Yes, I had a bully of a primary school teacher. I still think about how awful she was, almost 30 years later. I wouldn’t storm out if I saw her though. I assume she is dead now anyway and not hurting anyone else.

Not a grudge, but I definitely remember. Sarah accused me of ripping her coat when I was 5. I didn't do it and her mum judged me for it. 50 years ago.

When I was 12 Mandy was a huge bully and terrified me. Meh. The girl had a glass eye and now I pity her for the life she had.

Also OP - you say she “stormed out”, but perhaps from her point of view she saw someone she wasn’t expecting to see who triggered awful memories, and absented herself. Maybe your memory of what happened at school doesn’t quite chime with yours either?

I would question your version of events as they dont marry up with her reaction

Getting away from a bully to safety is often my no.1 priority - her reaction would be what my focus is on

Not as long ago as at primary school but I hold a grudge against someone I used to work with years ago. I used to cry in my car nearly every day for to how he treated me.

I saw him in a super market about 10 years ago holding hands with a woman and he tried to stop me for a chat. I took immense joy in telling him to fuck off. She looked quite shocked. I always hope she wonders what it was he did to elicit such a response from someone.

I absolutely hate the girl who made my life hell in school. As an adult, I wish I didn't feel this way but she affected my mental health and self worth so badly that I became so introverted and full of anxiety. Its awful. So whilst I wouldn't storm out if I saw her, I would be swearing under my breath along with a few choice names.

Yes i do still dislike a couple of people i knew when we were young children.

Ime people's core personalities show early and don't much change so if someone was a sneaky, lying, thieving, two faced bullying shite as a kid, (example of a kid on my shitlist), theres little chance they grew up to be a great person.

But thats just my personal experience of such people.

In nursery a girl splashed me and my mum had to come and get me changed, I was furious when she turned up to my sixth form and I recognised her 🤣

And the fact the repeatedly approach me despite being asked not to shows me they are just as rude and selfish now as they were then.

I was at school with some nasty bullies so yes I hold a grudge. I put a photo of me and my friends online and some bloke commented to say his sister (who was standing in the background) had died. She was nasty. I felt I should comment that I was sorry/that was a shame but my fingers just wouldn't type the words! I didn’t say anything nasty though.

I still boycott a garage because they were rude to my friend. It's changed hands three times now and I don't think any of the original people work there.

I wouldn’t storm out, but I do semi-regularly actively avoid the two girls that made four years of primary school hell for me. They both have a bloody annoying (and totally selfish imo) need to approach me and apologise every time they see me, despite being asked to stop.

They spent four years of school, brownies and Friday club laughing about me living with my grandparents, telling me my parents didn’t love me, saying the scar inflicted by my father made me ugly and, after they found out from one of their parents that I had been starved, threatening to steal my lunch or play piece. It was every single day and only stopped when a girl in the year above us heard one of their particularly nasty spiels and threatened to stamp on their heads (also not good but she was the only one they listened to!).

They remembered it as “silly girls teasing” but for me it was far far more.