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Enough candles and petitions. What are we actually going to DO?

57 replies

getoutofmyhead · 03/06/2026 09:55

I know there have been threads. I'm sorry to add another one. But I cannot for the life of me move past this. Three boys. Not sentenced. After repeated, evidenced rape of little girls. Walk free because their future matters more than girls? This is what this country, the world thinks girls and women are worth. I signed the petitions. But I am loosing sleep over it and wondering: is that it? Is that all we've got? All the rage, the raw emotion, surely we can use this to better ecient that a petition who will be forgotten in a few days.
I refuse and we should all refuse.

Women, our ancestors, have chained ourselves to railings, we have made noise so loud it could not be ignored. We have done it before and we can do it again, right?

Tell me what you're willing to do. Tell me what's already being organised. Because we cannot let this happen continuously. We cannot let this just pass.
What do we do? As a mother of daughters, I am dying inside and I want to take all this hate and turn it into something for our daughters and their future in this country.

Please let not be this another Sarah Everard moment. where we all light candles, cry together, and then watch it fade while nothing changes.

Please someone tell me is there hope for collective actions. We as women have been too reasonable for far too long.

OP posts:
getoutofmyhead · 03/06/2026 11:28

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 03/06/2026 11:25

Absolutely this. And I have been very quiet politics wise l my adult life. I’m 50 now with an 18 year old daughter going into the world and it’s frightening.

This appeal result could be the straw that breaks this old camels back and I’m ready to march hopefully with many more of you. Granted it could still be pissing in the wind but like you say OP, we need the noise.

As a mother is terrifying, I hear you. Mine are little and it haunt me at night, its a dread that never leave and no way to live.

But another march? is that all we got? because as you say, we may as well piss in the wind. March dont go anywhere.

OP posts:
FinchiePink · 03/06/2026 11:28

dudsville · 03/06/2026 11:18

I agree, I came on to see if somehow that review had been completed already!

No, not yet. It will be some weeks.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 03/06/2026 11:25

AmberSpy · 03/06/2026 10:27

I mean, worth waiting until the Court of Appeal has reviewed the sentence, no? If the review still doesn't result in a custodial sentence for the little scrotes then yes, we should take more direct action.

Absolutely this. And I have been very quiet politics wise l my adult life. I’m 50 now with an 18 year old daughter going into the world and it’s frightening.

This appeal result could be the straw that breaks this old camels back and I’m ready to march hopefully with many more of you. Granted it could still be pissing in the wind but like you say OP, we need the noise.

getoutofmyhead · 03/06/2026 11:24

Netcurtainnelly · 03/06/2026 11:19

You would think a big voice like Mumsnet could try and do something seeing as they deal with mostly women and children. Where's their campaign?

I love this and totally agree. But what would we actually want them to do? What would stop it being just another hashtag?

OP posts:
Netcurtainnelly · 03/06/2026 11:23

TartanTiger · 03/06/2026 10:29

We can't control, or don't want to control awful parenting.

My sister's immediate next door neighbour is a mother, her three young sons and the drug addict she lets in for drug fuelled orgies with other men. The language and fighting you hear on a daily basis is disturbing. The boys are now old enough to be swearing back.

Yes social services are aware. No nothing is being done.

Those three boys are having the absolute worst start in life and this is being replicated throughout the country.

This woman should never had had children. She doesn't deserve them.

Edited

We have to star making parents accountable if heir child commits a crime under 16.
When James Bulger was murdered by two 10 year olds I always thought that the parents should have been in the dock too.

There's no way that crime wasn't committed without it having something to do with the home life and the parenting.

Netcurtainnelly · 03/06/2026 11:19

getoutofmyhead · 03/06/2026 09:55

I know there have been threads. I'm sorry to add another one. But I cannot for the life of me move past this. Three boys. Not sentenced. After repeated, evidenced rape of little girls. Walk free because their future matters more than girls? This is what this country, the world thinks girls and women are worth. I signed the petitions. But I am loosing sleep over it and wondering: is that it? Is that all we've got? All the rage, the raw emotion, surely we can use this to better ecient that a petition who will be forgotten in a few days.
I refuse and we should all refuse.

Women, our ancestors, have chained ourselves to railings, we have made noise so loud it could not be ignored. We have done it before and we can do it again, right?

Tell me what you're willing to do. Tell me what's already being organised. Because we cannot let this happen continuously. We cannot let this just pass.
What do we do? As a mother of daughters, I am dying inside and I want to take all this hate and turn it into something for our daughters and their future in this country.

Please let not be this another Sarah Everard moment. where we all light candles, cry together, and then watch it fade while nothing changes.

Please someone tell me is there hope for collective actions. We as women have been too reasonable for far too long.

You would think a big voice like Mumsnet could try and do something seeing as they deal with mostly women and children. Where's their campaign?

dudsville · 03/06/2026 11:18

AmberSpy · 03/06/2026 10:27

I mean, worth waiting until the Court of Appeal has reviewed the sentence, no? If the review still doesn't result in a custodial sentence for the little scrotes then yes, we should take more direct action.

I agree, I came on to see if somehow that review had been completed already!

anniegun · 03/06/2026 11:15

I think people who look back at previous generations claiming it was all better then are deluded. Violence against women has been a problem forever. We need to change that. But claiming that reintroducing beating children in school is the answer is ridiculous

getoutofmyhead · 03/06/2026 11:13

TheKittenswithMittens · 03/06/2026 11:04

My parents were children during World War 2. They grew up with rationing and a lot of rules and regulation. You did what authority told you to do or else.

My generation began to rebel against discipline in the 1970s, and it has been downhill with every generation since.

Yes. Absolutely yes.

And a judge who responded just told every boy watching exactly where the line is. there is none.

OP posts:
TheKittenswithMittens · 03/06/2026 11:11

One day during the Blitz, a German bomber got lost, bombed a café, killing 41 people, and then strafed my Mum's school with its machine guns. The teacher made the kids hide under the desk. Probably saved their lives.

Whosthetabbynow · 03/06/2026 11:10

TheKittenswithMittens · 03/06/2026 10:55

When I was at school in the 60s, the teachers used to slap us on the hand with a ruler. The kids' behaviour was better hen.

Yep or have the blackboard rubber thrown at you. We stood up when the teacher came into the classroom. Imagine that! We called the teachers “Sir” and “Miss”. There is no discipline at school or at home nowadays. Look at the mess we’re in.

DreamyScroller · 03/06/2026 11:09

getoutofmyhead · 03/06/2026 09:55

I know there have been threads. I'm sorry to add another one. But I cannot for the life of me move past this. Three boys. Not sentenced. After repeated, evidenced rape of little girls. Walk free because their future matters more than girls? This is what this country, the world thinks girls and women are worth. I signed the petitions. But I am loosing sleep over it and wondering: is that it? Is that all we've got? All the rage, the raw emotion, surely we can use this to better ecient that a petition who will be forgotten in a few days.
I refuse and we should all refuse.

Women, our ancestors, have chained ourselves to railings, we have made noise so loud it could not be ignored. We have done it before and we can do it again, right?

Tell me what you're willing to do. Tell me what's already being organised. Because we cannot let this happen continuously. We cannot let this just pass.
What do we do? As a mother of daughters, I am dying inside and I want to take all this hate and turn it into something for our daughters and their future in this country.

Please let not be this another Sarah Everard moment. where we all light candles, cry together, and then watch it fade while nothing changes.

Please someone tell me is there hope for collective actions. We as women have been too reasonable for far too long.

You could join a protest about it, but would probably be called a bigot. Good luck.

TheKittenswithMittens · 03/06/2026 11:04

My parents were children during World War 2. They grew up with rationing and a lot of rules and regulation. You did what authority told you to do or else.

My generation began to rebel against discipline in the 1970s, and it has been downhill with every generation since.

getoutofmyhead · 03/06/2026 10:56

SamAylward · 03/06/2026 10:43

The only hope for collective action is to flood your local MPs in-box to the point where they are drowning in it.

All other collective action - riots excepted - is generally pointless.

So riot it is then? your point actually proves mine. If the only options are "write letters" or "burn it down," we've already failed.

OP posts:
bluetitsswimming · 03/06/2026 10:56

I read this book called It's a (wo)man's world a while ago. It's written as a dystopia where women are in charge but men are really oppressed. I think it was meant to be dystopian future, but the more that this violence continues to go unabated, the more I think it should be a blueprint instead!

TheKittenswithMittens · 03/06/2026 10:55

When I was at school in the 60s, the teachers used to slap us on the hand with a ruler. The kids' behaviour was better hen.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 03/06/2026 10:46

@getoutofmyhead

This.

rape is basically legal in practice

UK SOCIETY BELIEVES RAPE IS LEGAL. Yes I'm shouting.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 03/06/2026 10:45

It is a sad state of affairs.
It is social conditioning alongside bad parenting. The boys in DS class are mean, they push, pull, are aggressive, break the rules, not all of them, a handful. DS is too frightened to break rules in school, but at the same time he needs to learn how to defend himself mentally and physically around tougher boys, it’s a land mine situation.
i broke it down in religious terms if you like, there are wolves, sheep and shepard in life, be a Shepard, DS is much bigger than his peers, he gets a bit more of a pass based on his size but other good boys who are smaller don’t. Even then DS has been jeered over looks etc.
The rotten apples have a knock on impact.

FinchiePink · 03/06/2026 10:43

Teach yourself the law. Read the sentencing guidelines. Learn, in detail, the legal system in this country so that you can understand the basis behind it, where the weaknesses lie and how to effect change.

Then go for it.

SamAylward · 03/06/2026 10:43

The only hope for collective action is to flood your local MPs in-box to the point where they are drowning in it.

All other collective action - riots excepted - is generally pointless.

Hotupnorth · 03/06/2026 10:42

TartanTiger · 03/06/2026 10:29

We can't control, or don't want to control awful parenting.

My sister's immediate next door neighbour is a mother, her three young sons and the drug addict she lets in for drug fuelled orgies with other men. The language and fighting you hear on a daily basis is disturbing. The boys are now old enough to be swearing back.

Yes social services are aware. No nothing is being done.

Those three boys are having the absolute worst start in life and this is being replicated throughout the country.

This woman should never had had children. She doesn't deserve them.

Edited

Cue the howls of " but it's her right" etc etc.

Another example of people having children when they shouldn't. You'd think that we (the UK) didn't access to various forms of contraception.

getoutofmyhead · 03/06/2026 10:39

SparklyHam · 03/06/2026 10:28

Their sentences will be reviewed and they will undoubtedly get a youth custodial sentence.

There's nothing else to do right now.

Personally, I've taken from this public backlash that people DO care. DO want things to be different and ARE being listened to.

@SparklyHam I really want to hope you are right.

OP posts:
getoutofmyhead · 03/06/2026 10:38

AmberSpy · 03/06/2026 10:27

I mean, worth waiting until the Court of Appeal has reviewed the sentence, no? If the review still doesn't result in a custodial sentence for the little scrotes then yes, we should take more direct action.

@AmberSpy yes of course we will be waiting we got 200 rapes every single day for those being reported) and only 2% resulting in a conviction. There is no justice there at all. Our country has made it clear that rape is basically legal in practice.

Two women killed by men every week.

Im just so done lighting candle, going home and moving on.
So yes, I will watch the Court of Appeal with hope. But I will not sit still while I watch it. And I don't think any of us should.

OP posts:
Loulou4022 · 03/06/2026 10:37

Zebrah · 03/06/2026 10:32

I want to pay more tax to increase prison spaces to keep people like these locked up. For life if necessary. If they want to rehabilitate then fine, help them to do so and if they achieve it they can be released. What is not acceptable is the attitude that we MUST have these people in our communities and they are a victim too, and they’re just expressing their trauma etc etc.

I’d prefer to pay more tax into funding in the early years and even before that to prevent these sorts of things happening in the first place. In the short term prison is the answer however longer term things need to change much earlier on.

Zebrah · 03/06/2026 10:32

I want to pay more tax to increase prison spaces to keep people like these locked up. For life if necessary. If they want to rehabilitate then fine, help them to do so and if they achieve it they can be released. What is not acceptable is the attitude that we MUST have these people in our communities and they are a victim too, and they’re just expressing their trauma etc etc.

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