Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why so many male migrants have committed sexual assaults:even if they are evil people, wouldn't staying in the UK be an incentive to abide by the law?

487 replies

Jane379 · 03/06/2026 00:05

I KNOW that plenty of the men who come are not evil and don't want to commit sexual assault. But clearly a number who have come are, and there's strong evidence that male migrants are disproportionately lileky to do so.

This almost surely at least partly caused by misogynistic culture in various areas meaning back home they perceived uncovered women as permissible to assault. But surely they know it's different here? That they will likely be caught? They are at least more likely to be punished here for assault.

Or are they convinced our police system will let them off?

Or they're not aware our norms are different?

Or just don't care about the consequences?

I wonder also if criminals are in a sense selected for since they may have little to tie them to their home countries, or even be escaping punishment there.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
Tryingtobegreenfingered · 04/06/2026 08:34

Thanks for starting this thread @Jane379 it’s good to have these discussions and hear from others. Too often our valid concerns are shut down and dismissed as racist. No nuance. It’s not about skin colour, it’s about extreme religion and attitudes to women that men are bringing with them to this country. The more we shut down concerns and discussion about this, the more we feed into the far right Farage/Robinson et al…

Cyclebabble · 04/06/2026 07:58

Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:01

Thanks for giving your experience, that is very worrying.

I may be very inaccurate on this, but I wonder of some Muslim migrant countries have extra issues Malaysia does not due to issues like clan/honour morality. Eg. The Taliban are arguably more influenced by the Pashtun honour code of pashtunwali than by Islamic law re women.

Yes I think that would be true. The core point though is there are a range of cultural factors alongside how religion is interpreted which impact on how women are seen in some societies. The outcomes though can be sadly very consistent. Women can have incredibly limited power over their own lives. Consent as a concept does not exist, Relationships between men and women do not exist outside of marriage or family and women who move away from these strict boundaries are very quickly labelled with quite base terms by men.

I do think we need to be mindful of the risks these factors pose for people arriving in the UK.

HelmholtzWatson · 04/06/2026 03:40

Jane379 · 03/06/2026 22:54

Hence why we don't need an excess of this demographic, who even if they don't commit any crimes are likely to take far more out of the system than they will ever put back.

  • I think that's a bit unfair. Law abiding male migrants may be keen to work hard, and potentially advance.

Otoh I agree we cannot accept more migrants.

They might be keen to advance, but on average migrants who claim asylum cost the tax payer an average of around £500k each.

MulberryFresser · 04/06/2026 01:08

Deerintheglenn · 03/06/2026 09:50

How dare they shout at you for having a dog! If they want to live here, they should accept that the British love dogs and other pets. The country has been too soft, they should be made to learn and accept the culture here. As for sleazing on women to the point nobody walks alone, just disgusting.

100% / they should adapt to our ways if they want to get on with society here. The entitled twits think that we (esp females) should listen to them. How about no?

MulberryFresser · 04/06/2026 01:01

Those near my workplace have made it horrible. I honestly think they are behind the poisoned meat left in local parks which some pets have almost eaten! I have moved out of that borough to somewhere without them and feel sorry for any woman without the means to escape them. If they are openly misogynistic and judgmental to women they don’t know, who knows what they are doing to women they do?

Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:45

womendeserveequalhumanrights · 03/06/2026 08:39

Well men from Afghanistan are leaving their female relatives without a male protector. Women can't go out without men. Women can't work, so they'll starve to death if no male relatives. Women are probably more at risk of rape in Afghanistan than anywhere else - girls are essentially sold into sex slavery and this isn't even against the law! There is no coherent argument where leaving women behind in Afghanistan is the moral thing to do.

I agree Afghan women should be helped to come.

However, I think most Afghan men here are young singles without wives and families.

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:44

MsJinks · 03/06/2026 08:36

Great - very easy to say. Don’t forget it just meant they’d definitely all be tortured slowly then die.

If they fled they hoped it wouldn’t happen to their family if they weren’t there. If they got sanctuary in another country they hoped for family reunion.

Many wives tell their husbands to try for the family.

I can recommend reading ‘The Pianist of Syria’ - don’t be worried he came here, he went to Germany. It is a harrowing read and details the discussions he had with his wife - like is it better she goes with him and face definite rape or not.

I think pp is also overlooking that a lot of the male MENA migrants here do not have wives or families, they're young single men.

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:43

womendeserveequalhumanrights · 03/06/2026 08:34

Well said. Noticeable also with Ukranian refugees that the fit men stayed and fought and mostly it was women and children coming here.

Conclusions are not difficult to draw.

Remember Ukraine made it illegal for men of fighting age to leave. Many men did want to fight, but there wasn't a choice anyway

Moreover, I don't think Ukraine is an equivalent to the current Afghanistan situation since there isn't a war there now, the dictators are in power.

OP posts:
Ihatetomatoes · 03/06/2026 23:41

BashthatTerriesorange · 03/06/2026 20:31

You might have missed it but there has been a huge amount of work, attention and awareness raising to address abuse of girls in the homes and schools and church. The change and process in this in the decades of my life is remarkable.

So your point doesn’t stand up at all.

It wasn't my point, you may have missed it, but I was quoting from the shared article.

Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:40

Twisterlollies · 03/06/2026 08:08

Sorry I just can’t listen to anyone desperately trying to think the best of Afghan men right now.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0q25dwj807o

This link is terrible but I don't think it shows evil men so much as an unimaginably desperate situation.

No one wants to imagine this kind of situation but ordinary people can be driven to unbelievable things. I've read of Filipina mothers who allowed their children to communicate with child abusers via webcam because they were in such desperate poverty.

https://news.sky.com/story/parents-in-philippines-taking-money-from-western-paedophiles-for-webcam-abuse-10807436

It doesn't excuse their actions, or the actions of the man in the article, AT ALL.

But this isn't a situation where they're happily giving children away. They're clearly acting out of desperation to try & keep their kids alive . At least that's my impression from these kinds of passages:

'The country is now facing record levels of hunger, with 4.7 million - more than a tenth of Afghanistan's population - estimated to be one step away from famine.'

'In the two hours we were there, only three men got hired. The devastating impact of unempunemployment is clear'

Saeed Ahmad tells us he has already been forced to sell his five-year-old daughter, Shaiqa, after she got appendicitis and a cyst in her liver.
"I had no money to pay the medical expenses. So I sold my daughter to a relative,"
"If I had money, I would never have taken this decision," Saeed says. "But then I thought, what if she dies without the surgery?
"Giving away your child at such a young age, carries a lot of anxiety. Underage [marriages] have their problems; however, because I couldn't pay for her treatment, I was thinking, at least she will be alive.'

'A local elder says that child mortality, mainly due to malnutrition, has "really gone up" in the last two years.
Here, though, there are no formal records of deaths. The graveyard is the only place to find evidence of a surge in child deaths. And so, like we've done in the past, we counted the small and big graves separately. There were roughly twice as many small graves as big ones – suggesting twice as many children as adults.'

'A lack of money is forcing many families to make tough decisions.Gulbadan's surviving granddaughter put on a little weight and her breathing stabilised. But a few days later, her family took her home. They simply couldn't afford to keep her in hospital.'

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:23

MandingoAteMyBaby · 03/06/2026 08:05

While that does happen in Afghanistan, it covers 4% of women who were married before the age of 18, and is becoming rarer as time goes on. It’s not a societal norm.

Where did you get 4%?

The charity I linked earlier says 29% before 18 and 10% before 15.

https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/en/learning-resources/child-marriage-atlas/regions-and-countries/afghanistan/

And the Taliban are worsening it by making marriage at 9 legal...

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:20

MandingoAteMyBaby · 03/06/2026 07:57

And what ages are you thinking about when you think of Afghanistan ?

This charity, Girls Not Brides, is very good

According to them, 10% of Afghan girls are married before 15, and 29% before 18.

https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/en/learning-resources/child-marriage-atlas/regions-and-countries/afghanistan/

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:14

Twisterlollies · 03/06/2026 07:35

Do you accept that men from way more misogynistic countries are more likely to be misogynists? Because if they’re not the ones oppressing the women in, eg, Afghanistan, then who is?

To be fair, most Afghan men are also oppressed, albeit less so, by the Taliban. Most Afghans have no say in government.

I agree misogyny is rooted in too much Afghan culture though, especially rural areas.

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:12

LoopyLoo1991 · 03/06/2026 07:22

There are many urban myths in their home countries that British woman are so easy, them travel here to 'get lucky'.
Romanian lady who lives down my area saying they all watch Geordie shore, influencer blogs, old big brother and think many English women behave like that.

Guy at my old worksite is of Turkish-Cypriot extraction. Back on the island and mainland etc, a man accused of raping a woman is likely to end up dead. They sometimes rape special needs men instead as no one gets offed for that and no body cares.
Britain and Scandinavia are seen as soft places with easy woman and light jail time. Almost zero of these type of men will be killed or attacked for assaulting attractive women.
He was telling a few of us this and we couldn't believe it at first. Another person chimes in and said that's why Soviet soldiers were so feared in world war 2 and in Eastern European countries, as it was a license to rape many local women with no come backs. Do that in Russia, gulags in Siberia if you were lucky. This was still happening in 1983 in some Soviet satellite states.
Being born when USSR fell I never knew a fraction of this. Will have to do some reaches on my 'workbreak week' in August.

This is disturbing. It's notable most people (including me) have been focusing on migrants from Muslim countries. But you seem to be suggesting former USSR men like Romanians are also often more dangerous ?

I wonder what the data says?

'Another person chimes in and said that's why Soviet soldiers were so feared in world war 2 and in Eastern European countries, as it was a license to rape many local women with no come backs.'

  • is this person USSR? I'm partly Polish myself and my understanding is that the terrible sexual assaults by the Red Army were more due to poor army discipline, revenge on Nazis & the war environment in general. I wasn't under the impression most of the assaulters were simply doing what they had always wanted to do back in Russia. I will look into these claims.

Guy at my old worksite is of Turkish-Cypriot extraction. Back on the island and mainland- have Turks & Cypriots also been committing more SA? Again I'll check the data.

It's notable also that you're saying these men come from countries where rape is punished severely, so they're committing assaults here because they see it as softer, not because they think it's not a crime (as pps suggested re Muslim migrants potentially

Re English women being seen as sexually immoral, I think that is a belief in various places. I've heard about some in some Italian areas believing that for one, as you say it' probably a hangover from ladette culture era.

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:04

BashthatTerriesorange · 03/06/2026 07:14

But looking at all migrants is the wrong data set. No one is suggesting that American/ Australian/ New Zealand/ Western European nationals have higher rates of sexual offending. People are concerned about offending from men from misogynistic cultures. You’d have to examine the data set from that group alone ( and decide if you were looking at legal or illegal/ asylum or all three) to see if claims of higher rates of offending were true. And then delve deeper to look at reasons why.

Good point

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 23:01

Cyclebabble · 03/06/2026 07:18

So whilst acknowledging there are good and bad men in all groups, Sky News fact checked Nigel Farage’s claim that Afghan men had a 22 times higher propensity to rape. It found that a cross comparison to UK society as a whole was very difficult as the incoming refugee population were largely younger males and exact data does not exist. However, it does suggest that there is a considerable disparity of perhaps 4 or so times, which is still quite significant, though again data is difficult to cross compare.

I was brought up in a Muslim country (Malaysia), and generally most Muslim men are very respectful of women. However, as you travel to certain more strict areas, the society can be deeply oppressive for women and there is a really ingrained culture that a women not at home and not dressed extremely modestly is “asking for it”. The concept of consent is also not understood. Rape in marriage is still legal in many countries and a woman meeting a man alone might be seen as being very provocative.

In short there is a dangerous initial clash of culture which is not being properly managed. I understand refugees get some counselling on UK culture, but it will be anywhere near enough to override years of culture in Afghanistan.

On a risk basis, we should look for more secure units for those who pose the most risk.

news.sky.com/story/fact-checking-farage-are-foreigners-more-likely-than-britons-to-commit-sexual-offences-13407029

Thanks for giving your experience, that is very worrying.

I may be very inaccurate on this, but I wonder of some Muslim migrant countries have extra issues Malaysia does not due to issues like clan/honour morality. Eg. The Taliban are arguably more influenced by the Pashtun honour code of pashtunwali than by Islamic law re women.

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 22:58

millymollymoomoo · 03/06/2026 06:31

Leftist social women caused the downfall and Islamic takeover in Iran…. And yet they’ll still do it here, it’s like turkeys voting for Christmas. I despair for my daughter

Don't just blame leftist Iranian women, many leftist men did too.

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 22:57

GeneralPeter · 03/06/2026 05:48

Haven’t seen UK data, but European data does show very stark differences in sexual assault/rape offending by origin country.

I’d guess a mix of: i) chance of getting caught quickly is a much stronger deterrent than harshness of punishment. We do badly at this, ii) maybe they expect it to be treated as a minor crime at best, ie they don’t expect serious punishment even if caught, iii) most criminals are very impulsive anyway, which correlates with low IQ, and the typical national tested IQs of many of the highest-offending origin countries is very low.

chance of getting caught quickly is a much stronger deterrent than harshness of punishment. We do badly at this, ii) maybe they expect it to be treated as a minor crime at best, ie they don’t expect serious punishment even if caught, iii

  • Also good points.
OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 22:57

GeneralPeter · 03/06/2026 05:48

Haven’t seen UK data, but European data does show very stark differences in sexual assault/rape offending by origin country.

I’d guess a mix of: i) chance of getting caught quickly is a much stronger deterrent than harshness of punishment. We do badly at this, ii) maybe they expect it to be treated as a minor crime at best, ie they don’t expect serious punishment even if caught, iii) most criminals are very impulsive anyway, which correlates with low IQ, and the typical national tested IQs of many of the highest-offending origin countries is very low.

typical national tested IQs of many of the highest-offending origin countries is very low.

  • why is this? I suspect lower IQ is at the root of a lot of this. Probably bad diet & health are is one element. Another element is generational cousin marriage, I suspect. These must be changed...but the UK has enough of its own problems.
OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 22:54

HelmholtzWatson · 03/06/2026 04:21

Why do I get the feeling "virtually" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here? 🤔

and anyway, this misses the point. We know young men of the lowest socio-economic status commit the most crimes.

Hence why we don't need an excess of this demographic, who even if they don't commit any crimes are likely to take far more out of the system than they will ever put back.

Hence why we don't need an excess of this demographic, who even if they don't commit any crimes are likely to take far more out of the system than they will ever put back.

  • I think that's a bit unfair. Law abiding male migrants may be keen to work hard, and potentially advance.

Otoh I agree we cannot accept more migrants.

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 22:52

OtterlyAstounding · 03/06/2026 00:49

Absolutely. Yes, it is men. But within the demographic of 'men', there are cultural and social differences for sub-demographics that mean sexual or domestic violence is more or less common.

For men who grow up in regions where women being treated as less than men is normal, with laws meaning that marital rape, spousal abuse, financial control etc are acceptable behaviours, it makes sense that they're going to be more prone to that. Equally, if they grow up in a sub-culture that normalises abuse and violence, despite the laws of the country not supporting that behaviour.

For instance, sexual abuse is seemingly (it's hard to get data because it's generally hidden and not spoken of) highly prevalent amongst Amish communities. I would imagine that the 'traditional' lifestyle and ingrained misogyny of that sub-culture, along with its isolation from wider society, has something to do with that.

And I imagine (for instance) Russian men, and men from many Middle Eastern cultures, have higher rates of sexual or domestic violence and misogynistic behaviours because of the laws and values within the societies they come from.

To pretend otherwise is silly. You can acknowledge that some societies are markedly more misogynistic than others, and at higher risk of enacting sexual or domestic violence, without absolving white British men of the sexual and domestic violence that they also engage in.

Exactly. I'm not saying all men from these cultures behave this way or think this way, just that some cultures foster mores that make it more likely.

Russia I read in the Times once has a proverb 'if he beats you, it means he loves you'. I need to research more on this, but if so, that's clearly the kind of mores which would facilitate DV!

For instance, sexual abuse is seemingly (it's hard to get data because it's generally hidden and not spoken of) highly prevalent amongst Amish communities. I would imagine that the 'traditional' lifestyle and ingrained misogyny of that sub-culture, along with its isolation from wider society, has something to do with that.

  • re Amish, I actually read a book on this recently, can't remember the title but it would be a very sobering read for anyone who romanticised the Amish community. Any closed off community, especially with strong norms of male authority, is likely to foster that...
OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 22:48

TheSmallAssassin · 03/06/2026 00:39

I think More or Less have covered this a couple of times, there isn't any evidence, let along strong evidence, that male migrants are disproportionately likely to commit sexual offences. Maybe give it a listen @Jane379 ?

A common mistake this it made is not to compare like with like, for instance male migrants are usually young, and younger males in general are more likely to commit sexual offences than older men, so you need to compare against younger British offenders, not all ages of male offenders.

The recent claims by Annunziata Rees-Mogg used figures from Dorset Police that were shown to be completely wrong (an AI hallucination, apparently)

I agree age is definitely a factor.

Most are also coming without families. Men with families to support can obviously still be evil but have more incentive not to commit crime.

OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 22:46

Ponoka7 · 03/06/2026 00:22

They don't know that it is different here, who do you think is educating them? Most women's first sexual encounter is as s child, but very few men are charged with child sexual offences. Even for people who migrate here,there's no support groups to teach a lot of things. Life in our prisons, is better than what they face, as a asylum seeker etc.

Edited

Most women's first sexual encounter is as s child

  • what?? That's terrible if so. Is it really so high? Do you have any link on this?
OP posts:
Jane379 · 03/06/2026 22:45

Sorry, I only had time to get back to the thread tonight! Thanks for all the replies, I'll read & try & reply now.

OP posts:
Beachtastic · 03/06/2026 22:26

Wipeywipey · 03/06/2026 21:28

I think it is showing off a lot of "only migrants" single mindedness ignoring the fact most women in UK are abused by men they know.

Men are the problem, wherever they are from. Even educating them and giving them free healthcare doesn't seem to change them, just makes them better at hiding their acts. Poverty is usually a precursor to most crime but it is usually perpetuated by men. Anywhere you get a lot of poor men will not be safe for women (and other men). I don't know why stating that would make me liberal minded, just a realistic feminist who knows it doesn't matter where men come from, they are often a threat to women.

Yes, I once thought that way too. Until...