AIBU this is NOT a moustache

Well I just work at the school. And it is a private school. I’ve never thought of it as being an issue and never come across any students who have said anything to me about it. Certainly not something that I had to enforce, the kids just know I guess. The heads of year speak to any kids I suppose.

the school has changed though when I first started boys had to have their hair cut couldn’t be past ears. Now it’s a unisex policy as long as it’s tied back. Also used to say boys can’t have earrings but again now it’s unisex and boys are allowed 1 set same as the girls. But has to be a set can’t have just 1. So maybe in time it will change. Still can’t have coloured hair.

I agree.
I say this as a state school teacher of 30+ years. I've never come across this and have taught hundreds of teenagers with moustaches. Literally hundreds. It doesn't matter.
Abusive isn't wide of the mark.

Your poor son. As if puberty isn't hard enough, now your school can punish you for it. What message does this also send to teenage girls with perfectly naturally occuring lip hairs? I have a gnarly mustache when I don't get it waxed, if someone reprimanded me I'd telk them to get to fuck!

I mean, this is sexist too, isn't it? I'm assuming that girls DON'T have to shave any hair, however prominent, that happens to grow on their upper lips (I would hope not!) but maybe boys are permitted leg hair and girls aren't? That would follow on from their crazy logic. It all rests on really outmoded ideas of which sex is allowed to exhibit visible hair on which parts of their bodies.

NONE of it is ok, OP (and Neodymium at her crazy school, too!). Raise hell (in a dignified and calm manner obvs).

I don't use this term lightly, but that sounds adjacent to abusive to me. How on earth can any school justify a stance whereby they penalise a boy (or girl!) for pubertal hair growth they have no control over, by shaving it off them at school?? As others have asked, what do they do if a girl has obvious leg hair - do they police that too? What about a girl who happens to be Greek, or Bangladeshi, or has PCOS - do they ask her to shave her barely-there lip hair too? I'm sorry Neodymium if you think this is standard for state schools - it really isn't and I think you should know that.

I cannot understand how a school can justify this, in this day and age. It's a massively retrograde attitude, it's racist, it's discriminatory against people with SEN, against people with skin issues, and against boys and girls who are 'unfortunate' enough to start puberty earlier than average. I'd be writing to the Governors and possibly involving local press if nothing changed.

That’s what we used to call ‘bum fluff’ back in the day. It’s his choice if he wants to start shaving it off. I would be emailing the school objecting to any form of punishment.

Not for everything, but for some things I think there is an argument that it should be.

It would depend on the rule and why it is in place.

Farcical

No, I've never heard the like and I've taught in all sorts of schools. Not comparable to the toilet issue at all! Just very strange.

Ahh yes let’s now punish children for the natural growth of their facial hair. I have never heard anything so ridiculous. I thought denying them toilet access was bad but this is just next level dictatorship.

What happens if a girl at the school has a natural stache? Would they point that out or force her to shave? What if she or a boy is Sikh where hair shaving is not permitted?

Exactly what I was thinking. 😂 I had to zoom in to see the few strands of facial fuzz.
Bless him! Can’t believe he got a detention for this,

Are you joking?!
No. It is not standard in state schools. I've never heard of such nonsense. It's a ludicrous waste of time and energy.

This is exactly why so many parents and children disengage from school: the rules have become so overreaching that they lose all sense of proportion. Giving a 13‑year‑old boy a detention for having a bit of bum‑fluff isn’t discipline, it’s absurd.

That’s appalling, honestly. I would be furious if my sons were forced to shave. Men are supposed to have hair on their faces and it is a personal choice whether or not they remove it.

Wtf? Do they ban leg hair too? For boys and girls, yeah? What about pubic hair? Fucking gross rule.

facial hair on boys is banned at my school too. However they are sent to the school nurse who has razors and cream and they do it there. I thought that was standard in schools. Someone did mention religious reasons, parents can apply at my school for a religious exemption to allow facial hair. We have had some in the past. But that would be a beard and moustache not just a moustache. I’m not 100% certain on the reasons but I’d have a guess that it is behaviour. We no longer do free dress days due to the significant increase in bad behaviour on those days.

Ridiculous. No way would I send him for detention. Worlds gone mad

Well, I'm going to say that a detention for a moustache is a rarity in modern state schools, I've never heard of such a thing. I'd be interested to hear what the school policy is and why, and what the method of communicating this has been.
It's one of the oddest things I've heard.

I’ve just taken a selfie to check and I have significantly more facial hair than that.

Yes, I absolutely agree. No point in being so angry and antagonistic that discussion can't take place.

And people wonder why so many parents disengage with schools.

I’d request they revoke the detention or make a formal complaint.

"Ballistic" is just so uncool.

OP should approach the school calmly and point out the ridiculousness of the situation. She has reason on her side - no need to relinquish the moral high ground and make a dick of herself.

Is that a 5 o'clock shadow of a doubt?

(wondering if anyone else has already come up with this side-splitter 🤔)

So what happens with Saturday detentions, what is the form of notification?